Life and Death
In each person's life, the times of change come, and one of the greatest things to remember is that when you change a certain pattern of life, you have to change naturally. It is in your hands.
Biology makes you capable of sex at the age of thirteen or fourteen - it is not your doing. At a certain age, as you are coming closer to forty or forty-two, biology's purpose is finished. All those hormones that have been propelling you, are disappearing. To accept this change is very difficult, you suddenly start thinking as if you are no longer beautiful, that you need a facelift.
Nobody wants to become old. So when the time of transition from one stage of life comes, a very strange phenomenon happens: just as a candle comes to the very end, and there are only a few seconds and it will be gone, at the last moment, the candle suddenly becomes bigger with all its power. Nobody wants to go.
It is a fact well-known to medical science that at the time of death, people suddenly become completely healthy. All their diseases disappear. This is the last effort of their life - to resist death. The people who are related to them feel very happy that suddenly all diseases have disappeared, the person has become calm and quiet; but they don't know that it signifies death. The diseases have disappeared because their function is fulfilled. Now it is the last spurt of life.
The woman has to be a little fat, because the woman, for nature, is a mother. A mother needs extra fat for the child, because when the child is in her womb, he will need food, and when the child is in the womb, the mother starts feeling nausea, she cannot eat, she starts throwing up. She needs emergency fat in her body so she can feed the child, because the child needs food; he is growing fast.
Science says that in the nine months in the mother's womb, a child grows faster than he will ever grow again in his seventy years of life. So fast...in nine months, he passes through almost the whole evolution of man, from the fish - all the stages. His requirements have to be fulfilled by the mother, and she cannot eat. You can imagine, it is troublesome to have a child in your belly. The mother goes through immense suffering, great sacrifice.
Women have that fear that if they are fat, they will not be attractive, that they will not be looked at by people any more. They will pass through the street and nobody will look at them. To have attention is a great need for mankind, and particularly for women. Attention is nourishment. A woman suffers immensely when nobody pays attention to her. She has nothing else to attract people with, she has only her body. Man has not allowed her to develop other dimensions, whereby she can become a famous painter or a dancer or a singer or a learned professor. Man has cut all the other dimensions from a woman's life through which she could be attractive and people would pay respect to her even while she becomes old.
Woman is left by man with only the body - so she is much concerned with the body. That creates clinging, possessiveness, fear that if the person who loves her leaves, perhaps she will not find another. Without attention, she starts feeling almost dead; what is the use of life if nobody pays attention to you? She does not have an intrinsic life of her own. Man has taught her that her life depends on others' opinions about her.
You see that all over the world beauty competitions are arranged only for women - and women do not even revolt against the idea. Nobody bothers about the man's body. He can grow fat, he still attracts attention because he has power. He will not bother, there is no need. Man has managed over the centuries to have all the other dimensions of attracting people. And he has left only one dimension to woman - her body.
What you have to learn is, first, a deep acceptance of all the changes that nature brings you. Youth has its own beauty, old age has its own beauty too. It may not be sexual, but if a woman has lives silently, peacefully, meditatively, old age will have a grandeur of its own. Just as the snow-covered peaks look beautiful, the white hair of old age also have their own beauty. Not only beauty, but wisdom too. The old man should follow the same way. There should be no difference between men and women.
Love happens only when you are beyond biological slavery. When life is going through a biological change, it is not only to be accepted, it has to be rejoiced in that you have passed through all that stupidity, that now you are free from biological bondage. It is only a question of conditioning.
One has to accept life. But your unconsciousness does not allow you to accept life as it is - you want something else. Don't forget that we are not the body, we are far beyond the body. So, don't be attached to the body so much that you remain in miseries forever. Menopause is only for the body, the change in the body. Same as now you are 1 year old, next year it will be 2 years old. It is only the body which is increasing in age...your real nature is young forever. Be the real you and forget about the age. You have no age. You are forever young. Bring this awareness in you and live every moment enjoying life as it comes to you.