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7 Reasons Why Santa Cant Work In Daylight Hours . . .
on private property. That is true. Has anyone stopped to think just how blessed Santa really is for not being arrested for trespassing with his eight reindeer pounding on someone's roof in the middle of the night. In some cities, Santa would be doing some serious time for his after-hours antics--zooming through the air with no FAA approval and honestly, disturbing the peace with his huge bag of gifts for girls and boys. Let's just hope that Santa has retained a great lawyer in case some rookie on some police force, to make points with his sergeant, tries to climb the house where Santa is hard at work to arrest him. It could happen.
#2 BREAKING AND ENTERING
yes, this is a major crime. Breaking and entering a private dwelling. But Santa has been doing this for eons of time without being as much as reprimanded. Now I am no expert at law, but I do realize that we have a set of laws in our country that protect us from burglary, thieves, and those who would do us harm, but no one seemingly has ever told Santa about these laws. You talk about clout. Santa has more clout that President Obama. Do I hear a big "amen"?
#3 CHANGING DISGUISES
from century to century. Amazing. No one in the United Postal Service, F.B.I. or even the Treasury Department has taken the time to look carefully at all of Santa's various and vintage disguises. I grew up with the Santa in the (BIG COKE PHOTO AT TOP) and that was Santa for me. And Santa was good for Coca-Cola too. So why does Santa change his looks so often? I can assume that Mrs. Claus, as Santa is getting ready to leave on his yearly trip around the world, looks him over and says what every wife says, "You gonna wear that in public?"
#4 NOT REGISTERING WITH HOMELAND SECURITY
not until last year did I realize that Santa Claus has been flying in and out. Here and there. World-wide without registering himself or his sleigh with the good folks at Homeland Security. Have the boys and girls at Homeland Security been asleep? Taken a bride of a gift made by one of Santa's trusted elves? Something is fishy about Santa going wide-open. Scot-free. Without filling out those tons of paperwork that makes him a legitimate entity and not on some list of suspected terrorists.
#5 DANGEROUS ROLE MODEL
for kids. Yes, parents. You had better tell your children to not try and do what Santa does every year--running over the roof carrying a big, heavy bag filled with pretty toys for little girls and boys. Santa's rogue antics might cause your children to want to play outside more. Be active instead of living their lives away with video games. Be tactful, mom and dad. Tell your kids that Santa is a highly-trained professional. And has the experience at roof walking. You might also teach them that his main 'dangerous' trait: GIVING, is one your kids might learn now and continue to do throughout their lives. Giving to others hasn't hurt Santa. At all.
#6 LAUGHING ALL THE TIME
might mean, to some psychologists, that Santa may be suffering some a deep-rooted illness called 'happiness.' Why haven't the higher of learning issued a warrant for Santa's arrest and subsequent observation for always laughing. Smiling. Having a positive attitude. When we are all frown's. Gloom. And looking at the tops of our shoes. Hey, Santa might be considered 'dangerous,' with that loud laughter of his. What if, and I don't mean to cause a national panic here, but what if his laugh is contagious?
#7 ALWAYS TALKING TO CHILDREN
in today's society, and I am serious now. It's a wise parent that teaches their children to not talk to strangers. Anytime. Anywhere. In 2011, there are such things as predators, low-lifes who abuse innocent children, and most escape our judicial system. I am no one's judge, but I would not like to be a child molester or predator when all accounts are settled in the after-life. But in all honesty, it is a wonder that Santa has not been accused of such harmful acts as he loves to talk to his fans, the little kids, each Christmas to hear what they want for Christmas. For me, the 'real' Santa is safe with kids. I stand on that statement without apology.
Do Not Be Alarmed . . .
I was only presenting this story to help our good and mutual pal, Santa. I say this to you in all sincerity: just look at what the Federal Government, being pressured by the A.C.L.U. or some other special-interest group, has taken from us as American's. Come on now. You have the unalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. And to be honest under the First Amendment that guarantees you and I the right to Free Speech.
You know I am telling the truth. The valued and storied icons are falling one by one. The manger scenes that, to some, were offensive, but what about the Christians? I guess 'we' do not have any rights. I missed that when the Congress passed that ignorance-laden law that forbids us Christians from having rights. Dumb me.
And what harm did the 10 Commandments do to our country? Can you give me an intelligent answer? And those, "individuals," who want 'In God We Trust,' taken from our currency, when does it end? I tell you when. When 'our' rights as Christians and the things we love are completely removed from sight. And the ones such as A.C.L.U. and the special interest groups all have their way. You call that equal rights? Equal? Not by a long shot.
All I can say, friends, is that we band together and start helping one of our last, valued icons, Santa Claus, now. Not when some president who has been pressured by a non-Santa interest group threatens to vote him out of office if he doesn't rid the country of Santa. Then it will be too late.
Like it was too late when God was removed from our country.
I LOVE SANTA
I really do. I've always loved Saint Nick, the Jolly Ol' Elf from the North Pole. And I always will. Santa, I got your back. Santa is probably the most-celebrated holiday icon in the world. That's right. The world. Thanks to Mr. Claus, merchants far and near and even those on the horkizon can profit from his generosity, selfless attitude, and down-right good heart.
I have no use for fake Santa's in huge department stores. Or small stores. Most of the fake Santa's do not have the right kind of heart for the job. Some do not even have a heart. They just want the easy money from 'acting' like Christmas' most-successful giver, Santa. Don't be envious, fake Santa's. You have a piece of coal coming in your sock.
As for me, I am very worried about the real Santa. So far, and for countless years, he has managed to outfox. Out-maneuver. And out run the Federal Government and their limitless (and sometimes useless) agencies. Thank God for the cloak of darkness. And reindeer who run at the speed of light.
Otherwise, many children in massive numbers would remember Christmas as the saddest day of their lives.