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20 Signs Your Christmas Shopping is Not Going Well

Updated on December 14, 2012
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 7 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—anything from hamsters to office work.

It's That Time Again...

The holidays are rolling around again and what is around the corner? Christmas! But what must come before Christmas? The dreaded Christmas shopping. Yes, every year Christmas shopping rears its ugly head into our lives.

You can try to tell your loved ones you hate the commercialism of Christmas. You can explain how you don't have time or money. You might even try to switch to a totally different religion just so you never have to deal with Christmas shopping again. Yeah, good luck with all of that. They will just call you cheap and insist on presents anyway.

So instead of going through all that pain and suffering, you may as well just go Christmas shopping. Before you get totally stressed out about it, why not have a little fun by learning all about the 20 signs your Christmas shopping experience is not going well. Not only can you have a laugh, you can learn to recognize the signs so you can run out of the mall before things get too ugly.

The 20 Signs:

  1. You only have $12 and some odd change you found in an old coat to use for shopping. You need to buy presents for 10 people.
  2. The mall Santa gave up saying, "Ho, ho, ho..." hours ago. Instead, he is yelling, "No, no, no!"
  3. You've been driving around the parking lot at the mall for 2 hours looking for a space. You've seriously considered running your car into an elderly lady's car just to get a spot.
  4. You've also considered running over an elderly lady just to get a spot.
  5. When you arrived at the mall, your watch said it was 10:30 a.m. Now, it is hours later, it is getting dark outside, and where did your watch go anyway?
  6. You begin to wish they served alcohol in the food court because you sure need it.
  7. If you come upon one more broken escalator, you are going to start screaming obscenities.
  8. You are going to freak out if you see one more child throwing a temper tantrum.
  9. You start to envy the children throwing the temper tantrums and wish you could do the same.
  10. You actually start to throw a temper tantrum. You are on the floor slamming your fists on the ground and kicking.
  11. When you arrived at the mall, you have 3 other people with you. You haven't seen 2 of them for hours. However, you've met several other people roaming around the center of the mall looking for missing people, too.
  12. If you hear "Ring Christmas Bells" one more time, you are going to find something to throw at the speakers and break them.
  13. Your coupons work with absolutely nothing you need to buy on the Christmas list.
  14. Your coupons all expired the day before you started shopping.
  15. The hatred you feel towards the singing snowman at Hallmark comes bubbling out of nowhere.
  16. You might run someone over with your shopping cart. It seems completely justified at this time.
  17. If you hear the words, "Sorry, there are no rainchecks for this item" just one more time, someone is going to get hurt.
  18. The cash register stops working after you've waited in line for 15 minutes.
  19. You lost your shopping list somewhere between Macy's and Dairy Queen. You begin to lose your grip on reality and start crying.
  20. You've been roaming around the parking garage for over an hour looking for your car. Didn't you park on Purple Level A-2? Or was it Blue Level C-5? Uh-oh.

Comments

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  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I am happy I could give you a laugh. I was just out shopping and it is not a pretty sight out there! Thanks for visiting my hub and merry Christmas to you too!

  • Kristen Haynie profile image

    Kristen Haynie 

    5 years ago from Modesto, CA

    Haha! This is totally how I'm starting to feel about my Christmas shopping! This article is a real gem... it makes light of a very serious situation that we all must deal with during the beloved Holidays. Thanks for making me laugh!

    Merry Christmas!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I wish we could do away with shopping. What a drag! Christmas shopping can be OK, but it is way better not to put it off until the last minute. Some people also have such unreasonable expectations. It usually can't all be done in one day and it can't get done without some frustrations. Thanks for the comment!

  • mines tal profile image

    mines tal 

    6 years ago from phl

    That's the reason why, Christmas is tagged as the busiest time of the year...People really panic doing a lot of shopping and oftentimes they become tired of doing it. But just the same they can't do away with shopping, weird!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    It is a shame kids get to throw all the good tantrums, yet it is frowned upon for adults to do the same. Adulthood seems like it would be the best time to really throw some tantrums. Thanks for the comment!

  • Phil Plasma profile image

    Phil Plasma 

    6 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

    Yes, sometimes a tantrum can really come in handy. Fun list, thanks for sharing it.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    That might be the best way to do it. I always get nervous things won't come on time though. Thanks for reading!

  • shea duane profile image

    shea duane 

    6 years ago from new jersey

    I do mail order and have everything shipped to my BFFs house.

    8-)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thank you for the comments. I am glad everyone enjoyed the hub. I am personally hoping to get everything done at Walmart this year, but we shall see. Usually the scariness of the mall has to happen at some point.

  • shea duane profile image

    shea duane 

    6 years ago from new jersey

    funny! I myself hate the mall. But we do what we have to do, don't we?

  • DeborahNeyens profile image

    Deborah Neyens 

    6 years ago from Iowa

    Funny! Or you could spare yourself all the agony of the mall and shop at your local small businesses this holiday season like I suggest in my latest hub. : )

  • ThePracticalMommy profile image

    Marissa 

    6 years ago from United States

    Hmm, since the two people with me would be my two kids, there would be three temper tantrums happening at the same time, same place.... Very funny hub! It reminded me to finish all of my shopping either by this weekend or online. ;)

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