5 Reasons Why You Should Not Celebrate Christmas
- It’s not socially awkward.How many of you had the pain of buying presents for each and every one of your family members who are expecting something of you because they bought you presents not cause of the kindness of their hearts but because it’s Christmas? My family has never celebrated Christmas. No lights, no trees, no stockings hanging over a mantel, and there sure as hell was no Santa to come down the chimney, since the fireplace was shuttered off with a glass wall. How can Santa come through that? I thought as a child, poking at the gate. He’d die. You’re not broke—unless you’re alreadybroke. Your wallet doesn’t feel like it had gone through a vacuum hose at the car wash. You can actually sit and count your dollar bills and know that it can go into a wise investment like paying off your rent or opening up a business. Doesn’t it feel amazing that you won’t have to buy Christmas gifts for someone that you’re not really connected to or have any warm affiliation with—someone whom you had wanted to destroy a month earlier?—like your roommate, for instance, or your co-workers, heck even your neighbors? Why feint charity? Your altruism can be more beneficial if you donate to the needy or homeless, instead of someone you want to gouge his/her eyes out. And there were many indeed I wanted pluck out like with my artist’s fingers. Pop them like grapes, using their blood for visual paint on my red Santa oil painting.
- It’s a hip thing to do. Christmas lights, trees, and wrapping paper are the most wasteful condiments discarded at the end of the Holiday seasons. We digest 50 million Christmas trees, six terawatts per hour of electricity in a given year, and four million tons of wrapping paper and shopping gift coming out the chute at the end of the tunnel. Where does it all go? To the electric bills, landfills, and up in the air assuring contamination. Don’t you want to be in the in-crowd and be concerned about our environment and the welfare of our future generations? Instead of farming Christmas trees to put in our own homes for a few days, let’s replenish the land that’s being deforested daily for our survival. Rather than lighting up Christmas lights, let’s think about the burning of coal, energy, and natural gas that are the byproduct of illuminating meager flashing bulbs. During the holidays, the total of electricity consumed can power half a million households in a one month period. 500,000 people for one month, gone out the window. There’s also an increase in greenhouse gas emission: 15,500 hot air balloons could be filled with the carbon dioxide we produce, according to the Energy Saving Trust. Instead of harming the soil we live on, let’s reuse the wrapping paper and ribbons over and over again in a way the people receiving the gifts don’t find out and call us scandalous and cheap for being hip. We can all be hip and cool for mother earth. And again, save $300,000,000 million dollars for saving our electricity, yearly for holidays, and pay less on our bills, thereby saving cash for our future loved ones and calling ourselves amazing hipsters.
- No need to lie about Santa and traumatize your children when they find out Mr. Clause doesn’t exist. Having a naughty and nice list is not beneficial for the child’s well being as they grow up to be mature adults. Santa’s extortion method will actually harm a child ability to grasp responsibility. A spoiled child who expects materialism, and still receives it with helping heap, will grow up expecting things to be handed down to him or her, no matter how bad her behaviors were. And what’s to become of the honest, good children (who acted in loving kindness and obeyed their fathers and mother), only to realize the real world doesn’t orbit in such a manner? Bad things happen to good people. Their good deeds would be annulled and go unnoticed when they have a job or express their concerns for their neighbors. If nobody rewards them, or appreciate their gestures, wouldn’t they wonder if it’s even worth to be altruistic? What am I getting out of this? They’d wonder. Pretending Santa exists will embolden the idea that good behaviors should be rewarded and bad behaviors punished. Santa is a masochistic thug. Place the N at the end of Santa and you’d get Satan. We know why now he’s a fat jolly old bearded man who wears red all the time and cracks his whip to punish his helpers. Trust me, your children will enjoy being “in the know”—with the “in” crowd, who know the truth and not a lie—because I know. I know one thing for certain: I’m going to have heap full of coals in my stocking when my future wife reads this post. And lots of yelling too. There sure as hell won’t be any cookies and milk for me. Ouch.
- Christmas is not the birth of Jesus. No one really knows when the birth of Jesus occurred. One can only deduce it’s in the winter solstice and three men followed a star to Bethlehem. December 21-25 holidays honor the solar cycle not Jesus Christ. The evergreen tree is a pagan symbol that represents everlasting life because it stays green throughout the winter. The Bible account of Jesus portrays a character who taught that materialism and material wealth are worldly folly. Santa is not just based off Saint Nicholas or a famous poem penned by Clement Clarke Moore, called “The Night Before Christmas” where Santa is a jolly old elf—but has pagan roots to Santa’s sidekick in Germanic lore known as Pelznichol "Furry Nicholas,” and all the wild men iconoclasts that came before it, such as Belsnickel, Smutchli, Olentzero.They’re all wild men of the woods—beast gods who gave birth to this earth and punished naughty children by eating them or cutting their throat with a sickle. Many of these ritualistic symbolisms can be traced back to the great goat god, Dionysus, in Greece. Eventually, the church came along and used the wild man’s image to depict Satan. Other topography where the wild men arise in recent times are: Robin Hood, The Fool, Harlequin, and even The Joker. Santa is found to stretch back over 50,000 years. Like I said, place the N of Santa someplace else and you got—ahem. Cough. Santa prevailed. Santa is the last line of Wild Men who were worshipped in ancient European fertility rites and came to America through Pennsylvania’s Germans. And last but not least, why people should not celebrate Christmas:
- Criminals target houses that are decorated and brightly lit. It’s common sense, my jolly folks. If you were a burglar and you saw a house displayed to the max like tinsel town, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Rich bastards. Must have a lot of stuff hiding in their closets. The statistics for burglarized homes in time for Christmas are appalling. For every single city, 1,000 homes are invaded and plundered during the holiday seasons. Why gamble the risk?
I’m not here to advocate the discontinued celebration of Christmas. I’m just letting you know, it’s all right if you don’t celebrate it, and it’s not shameful or evil as some Christians tend to portray for the following above reasons. If you wish to continue celebrating Christmas, that’s fine. If you don’t celebrate it, that’s also fine. It’s not the end of the world. My question for you is: what are some other ways we can celebrate Christmas without having Santa as the centerpiece of this glorious holiday? Is it even possible? Or must we continue to feed our children fanciful lies and magic to control them?