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A 29th Wedding Anniversary ~ Has It Really Been That Many Years?
Thirty Years In 2013~
When I first wrote this, we had just celebrated our 29th Anniversary. Hard to believe, but we just recently celebrated our 30th Wedding Anniversary. It has been 30 wonderful years, and for that I am so thankful, we are so blessed. :)
For Better Or For Worse....
The day we got married, 29 years ago on January 22nd of 1983, was a rainy day in Tacoma Washington. And someone told me "rain is a GOOD omen! It means you'll have a happy marriage".... I was pretty gullible back then so I might have believed them, but today I'd say "It rains EVERY DAY in Tacoma!" Well, it does (almost!).
If anyone had told me all of the places we would end up moving to and living, that we would become parents of twins... that we would almost lose one of our boys (to illness) as a baby, that we would almost lose BOTH of them as teens in a car accident...thankfully, neither of those incidents, while they DID happen, our boys made it OK through them, and for that, we are so thankful. But, it did make me think about how no one has that "crystal ball" to see what is in our futures. And maybe that is a GOOD thing.
We've had a lot of ups and downs in all of these years, but very fortunately, the "ups" have outweighed the "downs" by far. We have been blessed. Both by good fortune, and good health. I try to remember this and live every day with a thankful heart.
When a young couple starts out with stars in their eyes, hoping all the best for their future, and trying their very best to make that happen, they have no idea what will happen and how it will all turn out. With divorce rates being so high in our country today, I was recently asked "how DID you stay together for 29 years... and counting?"
I believe it was called "Elsie's Tuna Noodle Casserole"
Despite some cooking disasters, we are still together!
They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach... I'm actually surprised we survived this part! Early in our marriage, I had no idea what I was doing in the kitchen! Although, I COULD bake good brownies and cookies...ahhh, that must be what kept us together! Because heaven knows it certainly wasn't the stuff I'd pull out of the oven and call "dinner!"
I can remember making this awful dish called "Elsie's Tuna Noodle Casserole"... I believe Elsie was the name of a COW, referring to cheese in the dish maybe? I don't remember now... but it was pretty awful. My husband would cringe when he found out this was on the menu! BUT, he was always NICE about it and did his best to "enjoy" it in order to spare my feelings. I was trying, but some stuff was not coming out so good! Thank goodness I was able to call his MOM for advice on some recipes.
I can remember another time years later, making what I thought was a good version of "Salisbury steak"... a fancy name for hamburger with onion pieces in it covered in gravy. Something happened to that one, those onions were NOT cooked...they were still CRUNCHY when I pulled it out of the oven!
We were sitting there eating, and talking, and eating... and my husband was only half consciously aware that he was making a little "volcano" out of piled up uncooked onion pieces... ehem... needless to say, salisbury "steak" was not on the menu again!
Throughout our marriage, we've had those "moments" you know the ones... where they're not always funny when they're happening, but you tell each other "we'll laugh about this later!"
Seems like just yesterday....
Shared moments, shared memories, shared laughter..... these are the most important things in a long term marriage, along with shared hugs and shared tears. Together you create so many memories, that they are ingrained in the shadows of your mind, soul and heart. The two of you really do almost become as one... for lack of a better way to describe it.
You get to where you can almost read each others thoughts, and you know what the other is feeling simply by a small look. We only knew each other for seven months before we got married, so I know that we we are among the lucky ones... the ones that are so compatible with one another, that nearly 30 years later, we are still together. I've learned to never, ever take that for granted, and to be truly thankful for every day that we do get to be together. Life can be so fleeting and can be taken away in a moment... to have a long term marriage is nothing to take for granted. Even though when you are together for a long time, it can become "easy" to take one another for granted.
My advice would be to always show each other respect...even if you're not liking one another at the moment... and to give one another the space to be individuals in the relationship. My husband and I each have very similar interests, but some of our interests are very different. We respect that and encourage one another. My husband was the one who encouraged me to start writing... telling our friends and my parents "she has such a TALENT... I told her she should be USING it" (writing)... and even though at times I thought I wasn't a "good enough" writer, he always encourages me to keep trying. He tells everyone I have a "gift." I don't know about it being a "gift", but I DO know that encouragement like that is something I treasure.
Recently, he started learning (in his 50's!) to play guitar, I am now taking a turn encouraging him in that endeavor. He has found a VERY good teacher, a man who was in a band and has been teaching guitar for over 20 years, and he is learning! He is sounding more and more every day like he is playing real MUSIC~ ! It's a neat thing to see!
Probably one of the most important things to remember is to treasure each other, encourage each other, celebrate each others accomplishments, console one another in defeat. And always be there for one another, because no one knows how long they have upon this earth, and there is not a one of us who will make it out alive... if you're blessed enough to have found a long term love, treasure it and nurture it, and see the amazing things that happen over a lifetime. It's not always easy, but it IS always worth the ride.