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A Letter to My Dear Father

Updated on June 20, 2010

Dear Daddy,

Just wanted to say Happy Father’s Day and also Happy Birthday, since yesterday was also your birthday. I always remember your birthday because of Father’s Day and because a couple days from now it will also be my birthday, something that we have always shared, a birthday month. Go figure.

I wanted to tell you some things that I probably never told you before. First of all I know you have always been the type of father that didn’t show lots of affection, and that’s okay, because I know the way that you were raised and so you were the type of father that felt it to be inappropriate to show too much affection to us girls. Kind of old school is what it’s called I guess. Although you were a little harder on your boys then you were your girls. You always kind of spoiled us girls. But we certainly didn’t mind it.

I know that I didn’t visit you as much as I should have and I didn’t call you either, and for this I am truly sorry. I should have spent more time with you and even just taken a walk with you now and then so we could have a good long talk. Although I did truly enjoy the talks that we did have. You are also one of those people that was always fun to be around and could always make me laugh. I enjoyed the time we had together and although I probably never told you before, but I do appreciate everything you ever did for me. I may have blamed you for my failures and maybe others did as well, but that was just adolescent bullshit that kids go through, it never was your fault and I should have never made you feel guilty.

Mom, my sister and I went to see you yesterday and spent sometime with you, it had been awhile since I had been out to see you and we couldn’t let your birthday and Father’s day go by without paying you a visit. We placed some flowers on your headstone and someone had left a flag on there as well. Probably one of my brothers, from their last visit. I just wanted you to know that it is always overwhelming to go out there and to think of you in the ground. I keep thinking about that February windy day back in ’92 when we laid you in the ground and how I just wanted to scream, “Don’t put my daddy in the ground, its dark down there”, that was a horrible feeling and it still overcomes me when I see your headstone, when I think of you in the ground, in the darkness and how lonely that must be.

My nephew, your grandson is buried right next to you dad and I’m glad that you didn’t live to see his death. He was only 18 when he died in a car accident and ironically, he has your name and he shared your birthday, so it was doubly sad out there yesterday as we stared at the headstones that was our family. His mama, your daughter almost went crazy when he died dad and it was horrific. But what made us feel better is that we know he is sharing a birthday up there in heaven with you.

I hope that you are at peace Daddy and that you are still smiling up in heaven as I always dream of you smiling, the way I remember you when you were alive. I’m glad that I dream of you smiling and laughing because I couldn’t bear it if I saw you any other way. Well I will close now dear dad and I shall see you again soon. Happy Birthday and Happy Father’s Day. I love you and always will. Oh yea, I miss the heck out of ya! Cheers.


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  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from Texas

    howcurecancer, deborah brooks and jeyaramd thank you all for your very nice comments hope you all have a great New Year. Cheers.

  • jeyaramd profile image


    6 years ago from Mississauga, Ontario

    That is such a beautiful tribute to your father. Its hard not to have regrets over what could have been. I am sure your father had regrets over things that he could have done for you. We always have regrets over loved ones. We always think that we could have done more. Because, we love them so much and we wish the world for them. But, I hope you know that your father wishes you well. Just as you wish him well. Your a blessed child for having such a loving father. Yes, fathers do spoil their girls. Thank you for sharing this wonderful tribute. It was heart warming and very affectionate.

  • Deborah Brooks profile image

    Deborah Brooks Langford 

    6 years ago from Brownsville,TX

    I am crying.. this is so beautiful.. I just lost my mom in July.. this is a hard Christmas.. but writing about it does help.. what a great tribute to your dad.. He would be very proud of you..



  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    howcurecancer thank you so much cheers!

  • howcurecancer profile image


    7 years ago

    God bless you.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    lobonorth thanks for stopping by and reading this hub which happens to be one of the hardest ones to write, it brought back so much pain but it was cathartic as you said...Thanks for reading, cheers.

  • lobonorth profile image


    7 years ago

    Losing a parent is one of those big milestones in life, a milestone that inevitably comes. I like the idea of writing a letter and find that I've written a number that don't get mailed to both the living and dead. It's cathartic and helpful, I find. Thanks for sharing the letter to you Dad. Awesome.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    Thanks Heather and I will be praying for your dad, hope everything goes well. Cheers.

  • freshlaundry71 profile image


    7 years ago

    yep im a sobbing dad is having open heart surgery next week...great tribute!

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    7 years ago from Texas

    ahorseback thanks for reading this hub, it continues to be a special hub for me and it was kinda hard to write as I always think about how much I miss my dad and when I go out to the cemetary to see him it always is so overwhelming. I agree I hope someday we can all be reunited. Thanks for reading once again. Cheers.

  • profile image


    7 years ago

    Ladyjane , People who would really know me know that some part of me lives with those gone before , I think that's ok , certainly a lot better people than so many I find here in life, Guess that's why I love old things too. I often think of the days when we will rejoin them.This is a Very nice tribute .

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Texas

    Lita thanks for reading I appreciate your thoughts and prayers Cheers!

  • Lita C. Malicdem profile image

    Lita C. Malicdem 

    8 years ago from Philippines

    A lesson is so clear in this letter, be whatever and whoever our fathers are, we will miss them when they are gone. Your outpouring made me cry, I miss my father, too. He was always there for me, to engage me in anything, a joke, a newsbit, even a gossip, just anything we could talk about, laugh about, and enjoy. Our only connection to our dead is prayer- and memories. God bless your father's soul and the nephew's, too.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Texas

    2uesday thanks for reading and for your lovely comments. Im glad that you took something from my letter. Cheers.

  • 2uesday profile image


    8 years ago

    I voted this as beautiful because it describes so well the feeling of loss that intensifies at certain times. It tugged at my heart and I shed a few tears as I read it because I can relate to many of the things you say here. It is OK I have learnt that to shed a few tears sometimes is better than locking them away. Thank you for sharing this letter/page.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Texas

    noorin you are too kind. Im glad you enjoyed my letter and Im sorry that it made you cry. It made me cry as well and Im sure you are right about my father being proud of me, I just wished I had seen it more while he was alive. THanks for reading and commenting, Cheers.

  • noorin profile image


    8 years ago from Canada

    ladyjane1, Im writing this comment with tears all over my keyboard. Luved it. Im sure ur father is proud of u, more than u could imagine... All the best to ur family and may ur father rest in peace.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Texas

    MFB III thanks for reading this. It was a bit hard to write for me but did make me feel better. I guess no matter how much time passes I still get that awful ache in the pit of my stomache when I miss my dad. It feels awful but then on the other hand I hope it never goes away. Thanks again. Cheers.

  • MFB III profile image

    MFB III 

    8 years ago from United States

    Somewhere in the distant netherlands above, your father was granted a joyous glimpse of the love he left behind. The heavens parted and a window opened in the nothingness between the dead and the living, and he saw you all gathered there with flowers and sorrows and sweet memories, standing over what he was, and now is no more. Someday there will be a great reunion, he is preparing a place for you in a glorious paradise, where love long gone can be reborn forevermore. Loved this~~~MFB III

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Texas

    geegee77 I know how you feel. Its ver emotional going out there. Thanx for reading.

    dawnM sorry about your father I wish I could say it gets easier but that void is always there. Cheris your memories. Cheers

  • dawnM profile image

    Dawn Michael 

    8 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

    Hi brought tears to my eyes, just lost my dad last year, and spent this year in bed on fathers day crying my eyes out, it seems like it is going to be rough every father day. your article was lovely

  • geegee77 profile image


    8 years ago from The Lone Star State!!

    I really liked this hub though it was very sad for me too. I wish I couldve gone with u and mom that day, honestly it is still very hard for me to go there. I know I should. I thought alot of him this Father's day, I miss him so much. Thanks sis

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Texas

    Denise Handlon thanks for visiting I appreciate your reading it. Cheers.

  • Denise Handlon profile image

    Denise Handlon 

    8 years ago from North Carolina

    Awww, LadyJane, this was a sweet hub. What a wonderful tribute. :)

  • Nell Rose profile image

    Nell Rose 

    8 years ago from England

    Hi, you wrote this from your heart and it was a lovely tribute. I have tears in my eyes now, as it also reminded me of my dad who i lost ten years ago. I remember feeling the same way that you did, I also wish I could have said more to him at the time, but i moved away and we never really spoke a lot together. but I still miss him though. Nell

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Texas

    Mike thanks for reading my letter to my dad and it made me feel better just having written it. I guess none of that bs really matters when love endures. Cheers.

  • Mike Lickteig profile image

    Mike Lickteig 

    8 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

    What a wonderful tribute to your father. He may be in the ground, but he knows how you feel. So often we have regrets about how we related to our parents (and how they related to us), but love endures.

    Somewhere your father is smiling down upon you.


  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Texas

    @mysterylady sorry about your dad. Its one of those things that will stay with us forever. Thanks for visiting. Cheers.

    @GPage thanks for visiting and thanks for the compliment Im glad you enjoyed my hub and that it touched you. The memory of your dads death is as fresh to you as it is to me no matter how many years go by. I find it a great relief to go visit him and it helps me to release anything that maybe bottled up inside. You may cry because I know I do but that's okay because it shows that you still feel, you are human. Good luck to you and Cheers.

    @MickyDee thanks for visiting, I love that Vince Gill song as well. Cheers.

    @Pamela99 thanks for reading and Im sorry I made you cry, it made me cry as well. Cheers.

    @whidbeywriter thanks for reading. I know you know what Im talking about. Dad was a great man. I miss him terribly. Love

    @Nellieanna thanks so much for reading and you are too sweet with your lovely comments. Thanks for the Happy birthday. And you are right Father's Day is special and it brings so many feelings. I wish I had appreciated my dad more while he was still with us but hopefully I have made up for that through my fathers eyes. Cheers and blessings.

    @Caliber you know you never ramble and you are always welcome to say whatever you want no matter how long. I always find your experiences and feedback very important and its always a pleasure to see you on my hubs. You are right about making things right with parents before they leave this earth because someday they will no longer be there and then all that petty crap is just petty crap and unimportant. Thanks for reading. Cheers.

  • 50 Caliber profile image

    50 Caliber 

    8 years ago from Arizona

    Lady Jane, what a fine tribute. Fathers day came and went here and I didn't know it. I do think of my father often and cross times when I wish I could ask him a simple question and get his opinion on things. I'll include my grandfather as well he wasn't of any blood relation to me, my brothers mothers mother, married him second, but he toted my about as a youngin' every chance he got and as soon as I was old enough to be a non-pants crappin' kid he wanted me at his house every summer for his vacation. He spent it taking me where ever he went for two weeks and longer as his vacation grew and he retired by the time I was 8 and then I'd spend the summers with him fishing. He never seemed to take a shine to my little brother or his sister and that seemed to piss one and all off except me. To say the least we were like best friends and he was the guy I was free to talk with about everything and it took quite a few years for my father and I to get to that point. It was until I was probably 40. So I suppose if I had one thing to offer up, if your reading this and haven't, make friends of your fathers as soon as you can! I wish I had been smart enough to convey those thoughts at an early age, that way my father would have understood why I enjoyed being at grandpas' place, we both acted like kids and one of us was, at 40 my father and I acted like kids and one of us still was and I still am. It's probably where I went wrong with my absent daughter in hind sight, treating her like a friend too soon. I would add the same advice for mothers. Mines alive but she hates me and a lot of that came from my dad and I being friends. Life's funny that way, just can't please them all I don't guess. Thanks for a stirring hub and sorry for rambling on, 50

  • Nellieanna profile image

    Nellieanna Hay 

    8 years ago from TEXAS

    Ladyjane - you're a wonderfully sweet, loving person and you surely must have been a joy to your Dad. Though he was "old-school" in that reserved way, it's clear that he loved you girls and that you both felt connected by sharing a birthday month speaks volumes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, by the way!! As Ken said - he's surely looking down on you with pride and love.

    Thanks for sharing this. It's funny that several of us spontaneously chose to write hubs about our Dads, straight from our hearts. :->

  • Whidbeywriter profile image

    Mary Gaines 

    8 years ago from Oak Harbor on Whidbey Island, Washington

    This was a beautiful hub sis, dad was a good man and he did make us all laugh. Your letter brought back some sad memories and good ones too. Rest assured we will see him one day. He has been watching over us ever since he left us to be with the Lord.

  • Pamela99 profile image

    Pamela Oglesby 

    8 years ago from Sunny Florida

    Ladyjane, That letter to your father touched my heart and I cried. I like to think of my father smiling down on me from Heaven also. Your letter was special and very beautiful.

  • Micky Dee profile image

    Micky Dee 

    8 years ago

    Beautiful! Vince Gill really is proper with this too!

  • GPAGE profile image


    8 years ago from California

    LJ...this is so very touching. It brought tears to my eyes. I have avoided the visit to my fathers grave for a long time (he died ten years ago).....I'm planning on going there soon.....This was beautiful and I'm looking forward to getting to know you more through your writing......Best, GPAGE

  • mysterylady 89 profile image

    mysterylady 89 

    8 years ago from Florida

    A tender tribute! My father died when he was only 63. I'll always miss him.

  • ladyjane1 profile imageAUTHOR


    8 years ago from Texas

    De Greek thanks for reading you sensitive soul you. I bet your kids love you so much. Hope you had a happy fathers day. Cheers.

    Breakfastpop sorry you lost your dad so young. I have that same hole in my heart I guess it never goes away. Cheers.

  • breakfastpop profile image


    8 years ago

    You brought tears to my eyes. My Dad died when I was eighteen years old and there has been a hole in my heart ever since.

  • De Greek profile image

    De Greek 

    8 years ago from UK

    You have made the father in me cry

  • saddlerider1 profile image


    8 years ago

    Ladyjane what a wonderful blessing you are to your Daddy. He is looking down and smiling at his Princess. It's sad to lose a parent the pain numbs us for some time. We never really heal from the loss, we move on, we raise our families but we never forget our parents. I have lost both parents, although my Dad and I were never close, he left me when I was 10 a very lost and lonely little boy without his Daddy. I grew up to be a loving Daddy myself regardless. Although I struggle without 3 of my 4 children in my life, but I pray every day that they will come to their senses before I am put in the ground, it will be to sad for them to stand over my grave saying. I sure wish I had gotten to know Dad and spent time with him while he was alive. Thank goodness I have my 16 yr old son very close to me and we spend a lot of time together, the others will come eventually. Thank you for this lovely tribute to your Daddy, brought a tear to this saddlerider's eyes. I rate it UP


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