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A Mother's Love is Truly Unconditional

Updated on May 7, 2018
GreenEyes1607 profile image

Sabrina loves to write about love, life, and everything in-between in a candid yet humorous approach.

In honor of the upcoming Mother's Day, I decided to write this hub about my own mother. A mother-child relationship is unlike any other. No one will ever love you quite as much as the woman who gave you life. Obviously, everyone's personal relationship with their mother is different, but regardless it is one that should be constantly worked on and never given up on. As a woman, our mothers are our main female role model from early childhood to well forever. We become the people we are based on the person our mother is. It's been said that we all eventually turn into our mothers as we age and mature, well if that's true, that's the best compliment ever because if I am ever even half the person my mother is then I will be a pretty darn good woman.

Mother-daughter relationships can be tricky. It's really hard to strike a balance somewhere in between. Usually, they fall on one end of the spectrum, where you're best friends with your mother, or on the other end, where you can't get along and don't talk. Typically, this relationship develops very early on and sets the stage for the future. From a young age, it was always mostly just me and my mom. I was an only child and dad was always at work, so it was my mom who really raised me. I had no other siblings, so it was just me and her and honestly that's how I preferred it. I don't know how I would have felt sharing her with anybody else. As an only child, it's hard to imagine having to share your parents with another person, so I can only predict that there would have been some sort of jealousy or conflict, but I honestly don't know.

My mom always read to me as a child, so she built in me a love for reading that remains to this day. Both of my parents are big readers, so it makes sense they passed that down to me as well. My mom is the oldest of three children so she's always had this leadership quality about her. She's super responsible and in my opinion always has the answer to everything. Seriously, I can go to her with any question, and she'll do her best to answer and help me. Even though I am now a grown up myself, she is still the person who I think of as a real "adult."

Even though my mother and I had a great relationship while I was growing up, things slowly changed as I became a teenager. I started to drift away from her and started to prefer spending time with my friends instead. I think she understood that I was growing up, but I do remember her being a little hurt though she did her best to hide it. Looking back now, it brings tears to my eyes thinking how I treated her, but back then I was only doing what every other teenager did. It's a normal part of growing up, but that doesn't mean it's any less painful for the parent. Conflict started to arise between my mother and I when I wanted my curfew extended later and later. I accused her of being overprotective and always felt my friends had more freedom then me. Looking back now, it all makes sense to me. I can understand her reasons for being protective of me as a teenage girl. She trusted me, but she didn't trust my friends. They were a bad influence on me. My mother knew they drank and smoked, and even though I never did, she thought if I spent enough time with them I would be pressured to participate as well. Thankfully, I never did. My stubborn attitude helped me and I never did anything I didn't want to. But my mother didn't know that until I was older and revealed this to her.

My relationship with my mother struggled the most from about age fourteen to nineteen. Those were tough years where we argued a lot and seldom agreed on an appropriate time for me to come home. It was when I was around seventeen, that my mother and I faced the most difficult strains in our relationship. I started dating someone who my mother disliked very much. I knew it made her mad, but being a stubborn teenager I decided that it was my life and I could live it as I saw fit so I dated him anyways. It was a very bad decision on my part and one of my biggest regrets. This guy that I dated knew my mother didn't like him so he did things on purpose to ruin my relationship with her even more. He convinced me to stay out late with him and do things that would cause a lot of worry to my mom. It was his way of proving to her that he had the upper hand and could do whatever he wanted with her daughter (me).

Of course my mother was right about him like she is right about most things. I should have listened to her then, but I guess I had to find out the hard way. A mother knows when her child is in danger, call it a mother's intuition, or sixth sense, but it never fails. She knew her daughter was with a person that didn't have her best interests at heart and she couldn't do anything about it. I imagine that caused her a lot of pain and heartache and I wish I could take it back, but it was one of my biggest lessons in life so maybe it's good I learned it early on.

When my relationship with this guy ended, my troubles didn't stop. He took his revenge on me for ending the relationship by turning most of my friends against me. It was a double blow to me, ending a relationship and losing your friends all at the same time. But I survived because my mother was there for me. This was around the time my mother and I started to become close again. Everything that happened turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I may have lost a lot of people, but I gained back the most important one. Still, it hurt like hell to feel so betrayed by the people who you trusted. But my mother took most of that pain away by being there for me. We did tons of things together with my newfound free time like going to the movies, shopping, out to eat, and just talking. Lots and lots of talking. My mother helped heal my heart during that most difficult of times and I felt better and strong enough to finally move on.

That experience definitely proved to me the type of people who you need in your life and the ones that you don't. I eventually got back in touch with old friends from high school and made new ones, but I never talked to those who betrayed me ever again. My mother is still my best friend and I know I can talk to her about anything and she will never judge me. She truly gets me as a person and I don't have to pretend to be anything or anyone else around her, I'm just me. She's the one who's cried with me during the hard times and laughed during the happy, so there's no one I would ever put above her ever again. It's funny because that guy I dated tried to tear my mother and me apart and put a strain on our relationship, but in the end he only brought us closer together. It's funny how life works out for the better in the end.

It's been ten years since my mother and I healed our relationship and we became closer than ever. She's been there for me numerous times since then and I know she will continue to do so. I regret not treating her better when I was younger, but I guess you have to go through certain things to come out on the other side and see everything differently. So if you're a teenager reading this, ease up on your mom a little. Know that everything she's doing is because she loves and cares for you and wants to protect you. Maybe you think she's over protective, but just wait a few years and you'll feel the same way about your children. And don't ever put a guy or anyone else above your mother, please. They will never be worth it. And remember that a mother doesn't have to be blood related. It is any woman who treats you like you're her own. It could be a stepmom, foster mother, aunt, or even older sister. Mother's day is meant to celebrate all of those women who are mothers inside whether they have biological children or not. So what do you give the woman who has given you everything? Well flowers are a popular choice, but I prefer something that is a little more personal. And don't forget a nice handwritten card as well. Mothers love poems that bring them to tears. And a hug and kiss is a must have.

Here are some other ideas for Mother's Day gifts:

Candles

Jewelry

Picture frames

Engraved water globes or other trinkets

Clothes

Makeup

Perfume

Candy (Chocolate especially)

Teddy Bears

Electronics (new phone, tablets)

Movies

Take them out to dinner at a nice restaurant

Spend the whole day with them at a park with a picnic

Take them shopping and let them pick out their own gift

Whatever you choose to do on this special day, make sure you spend time with your mothers, that's the most important thing they want and the only thing you can't buy.


Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler

© 2018 GreenEyes1607

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      elmo083179 

      3 months ago

      I recently had an interaction with my mother where I shared what I was going through (reliving my past tramua and every negative core belief I had ever been taught) and told her I often wondered why she didn't abort me and that I felt the family would be better off if I were dead. (I also suffer from bi-polar, generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, and ADD). Her response was have nothing to add and I haven't heard from her since. What that told me was she didn't care about me an certainly didn't love me anymore. That was like daggers shooting through my heart and makes me feel even more worthless than I already did. Part of the issue I think was when the abuse came out she didn’t kick my dad out, child services did that and while he was kicked out her and my brother spent the majority of their time with him including Thanksgiving. She also let him move back in. Her words said she believed me but her actions showed the opposite. When I spilled my guts to her I didn’t expect her to fix it because she can’t, I just wanted her to say she cared about me or loved me. I realize she may never be able to own up to her mistake and I can deal with that, but to feel unwanted and unloved by the person who is suppose to care for you the most is one of the most painful things I’ve dealt with. She has also told me my brother is her favorite which I understand because he has his shit together and he’s always been the favorite no matter what he did.

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