ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Holidays and Celebrations»
  • Christmas

An Open Letter to the People who Taught Me How Difficult Forgiveness Can Be

Updated on December 25, 2016

Hello there,

Please know that I am writing to you from a scar and not from a fresh wound. I have wrestled enough from the pain you have caused me and I won’t be prolonging it in my heart anymore. It took me a while before I get to be completely healed. You know why? It was because I was imagining an ideal past in my mind where we get through life together with enough respect from each other and that I was still trying to convince myself that you were not that horrible as a person - only to be awakened by your fatal backstabbing that you deliberately positioned yourself to hit and destroy me at my core. This Christmas, I am offering all the harm you have inflicted on me to the Baby in the Manger. The pain you have caused me is a GIFT IN ITSELF because it awakened my Strongest Self that I never knew existed in the deepest recesses of my soul.

Because of the pain you have caused me, my journey into the woods of change and transformation is crucial and necessary to release the Miracle that lives within me. I was able to retrieve my soul. I was renewed. The adversity you have set up to harm me has actually done more good than you can possibly imagine. It has become the birthplace of my more radiant, happier and meaningful life – free from your prejudices and bigotry. Out of the fire of pain, I was reborn.

You see, I have never seen you as someone who could hurt and betray me. Looking back, I can recall how you hurt me. You. Enjoyed. Hurting. Me. Your eyes spoke nothing but savoring the moment while you were mocking me. You loved seeing me in pain. You were in such an unspeakable joy. While I was trying so hard to refocus myself on you and see at least what tinge of humanity has been left in your skin, I was taken aback – I saw no human being. I saw a monster devouring a person like me. You enjoyed magnifying every tiny loophole you can find in me. You projected yourself self-righteously because you are too scared to even admit your share of faults. My dear, in my silence back in those times when I was wringing from your torment, God sees everything. God knows everything. He counted every tear that has dropped in my eyes which has exhausted its efforts to see the remaining goodness in you. God converts the harm you intended to give me into His miracles and blessings for my life.

Mind you, I am not perfect. Perfection is a myth and a mask that people willingly put on so they can self-protect from rejection, criticisms and attacks from other people. I had my share of faults, too. I have trusted and counted too much on your goodness or on your “projected goodness”. I have willingly handed you a map on my way to my heart and you have known all the things I care in the world. You deviously managed to cause me pain where it counts. The most shocking part of it, you have no remorse – not even the slightest sprinkle of it, because you did it by choice not by accident. You haven’t felt any streak of regret for what you’ve done and you were joyous dragging people down as though it was your greatest victory. I have asked God for countless of times what kind of human you are and He just kept quiet, sat beside me and allowed me to figure everything out.

With so much gratitude in my heart, I am forgiving you for an apology I have never received and I have learned not to expect. You taught me so much life lessons that highly fast-tracked my growth and maturity than anyone could ever grasp early in this lifetime. I am forgiving you for repeating the injuries you have caused me over and over again - with any chance you can get. Now that I have created enough and healthy distance from you and your toxicity – you are no longer hurting me. By far, you are only hurting yourself the way you have hurt me and the other people you have festively dragged down.

Instead of anger, I have learned to feel pity on what you have become and I must see you with tender eyes of compassion. If I were to trade places with you, with the same circumstances that you were experiencing, I would not know if I would do the same thing as you did. It has been proven a lot of times that the person who has caused anyone pain is actually a person in pain. I just hope you get to confront your own pain – hold it in your hands, dissect where it is coming from, learn and grow from it – instead of inflicting pain to someone else just because you cannot stand your own pain. It seems that your pain is coming from your own self-discontent but I guess, you haven’t started your journey of getting curious about it. Instead, you wanted to shortcut everything by tossing your own pain to other people around you. Unfortunately, I was included in your list.

I am forgiving you because you made me realize there are 3 topnotch things that I won’t ever compromise again and these are my self-respect, self-worth and self-love. These are all under the big umbrella of SELF-CARE and self-care is not about self-indulgence nor being selfish. It is about loving yourself enough so you can love others with all that you have and NOT what has been left of you. You cannot serve and love people around you coming from an empty heart vessel - the one wherein your principles are based conveniently to gain approval from others and dependent on pleasing people to serve you materially or personally. I am no marionette. I deal with people wholeheartedly without any ulterior motives that will make me gain something in return. If ever I would meet people like you again in my journey, your memory in me will remind me a resounding warmth, stability and peace because now I became a lot wiser, braver and stronger to handle them.

Lastly, if we would meet again in the unknown time and place that the future holds, I would shake your hands and embrace you with warmth not just because of civility or “just-for-the-sake-of-being-polite-masquerade” but coming from a genuine heart that has experienced the bashing of your wounded soul – a genuine heart that has learned to love you and your brokenness (not the fabulous self-righteous mask you are fond of wearing all the time). I can see you WITHIN, clearly. Until then, I wish you well and I pray fervently that the Baby in the Manger will bring you LOVE as He continues to knock in your heart as He did in mine.

Love and peace,

Me

"The Universe is self-organizing and self-correcting. If anybody did anything that harmed me, the Universe is already on it. There is such thing as the Principle of Divine Compensation. Do not deflect your own miracles by wearing the same cold heart that your perpetrator has worn to hurt you." - Marianne Williamson

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)