Characteristics of a Good Father, In Honor of Father's Day
© 2012 Katina Davenport
Father’s Day is coming up June 17, 2012.
Father’s Day is not only the time to honor and reflect on a father’s love, but for many it is a time to think about all the times that were missed with dad.
This holiday used to be a very sad day for me. It just reminded of all the special occasions my father missed that year. I found myself angry and in grief because my father wasn’t around to receive his honor. My mom tried to get me to give her Father’s Day cards and gifts, but it wasn’t the same. I only ended up resenting the request only to feel worse. I couldn’t wait until Father’s Day was over.
After the birth of my daughter in 2007, I celebrated Father’s Day for the first time since I was a teenager. I celebrated my brother as a father. He didn’t have children then, but he made the commitment to father my daughter until I was married again.
My dad and I rekindled our relationship in 2009. Ever since then my life has been full of happiness that I needed from my dad. There were tears and healing that took place during our time of reconciling. He has committed himself to correct the wrong that happen in my life by being a good grandfather for my children. In hindsight, I am blessed to know my father. I realized that he may not have been around all the time, but he was by my side during some very important moments such as embarrassing me in front of my friends in middle school. He came to see me cheerlead in a long mink fur coat and pump waves. He picked me up from my middle school dance in a Camaro. I couldn’t complain about that. He was there for all of my graduations including college. Most importantly, he was there to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. I thought that would never happen.
Characteristics of a Good Father
Now that I am experiencing fatherly love as I watch my husband care for our children, I understand the qualities of a good father. Here are some that he embodies:
Provider- Good men provide for their families. They are careful to make sure that everyone in the family has what they need. It is a joy to see my husband’s face light up as he shops for clothes for the children, especially our daughter. He always seems to know what she likes to wear.
Nice- Good fathers are nice to their children. I witnessed a father belittling his small son in front of a gas station one day. His son dropped his head and cried as his father yelled in his face calling him names. This father’s actions was beyond discipline. It was verbal abuse. My mom and I were in the car wondering if we should call the police. Maybe we should have. God knows what else was going on in the child’s life. After witnessing that incident, I knew that having a good father meant having a father that can control his temper, his anger, and himself.
Instruct- Good fathers know how to teach their children right from wrong.
Brave-Good fathers have the courage to stick around and be a father to their children and a leader to their family. Whether fatherlessness is due to divorce, unwed couples in separate homes, or abandonment, fatherlessness produces problems within the child. Statistics show that children in fatherless homes are:
- 15 times more likely to have behavior problems
- 5 times more prone to suicide
- 7 times more likely to drop out of high school
These are just a few of the statistics on the fatherless in America. It takes courage to raise a family. There are men that want to take care of their children, but for whatever the reason the mother is preventing their efforts. I am not directing this towards those that are trying, but to those that are not.
Fun- A good dad knows how to have fun with their children. I call my husband “fun daddy” because the children know it is time to have fun when comes around. He takes the time to do fun activities with them, which makes for lasting childhood memories. When they are grown with families of their own, they will be able to tell their children about the fun times they had with their dad.
Mentors- Great fathers are fathers to the fatherless. They have the capabilities to take in children that are not theirs mentoring them in life skills, education, and moral character.
If your father is around take the time to show him you care. Let him know that he is appreciated and loved, even if he is not the “I love you” type.