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Confessions of a Chocolate Bunny Thief

Updated on April 2, 2009

Easter Basket

One of my favorite Easter things...
One of my favorite Easter things...

Raised a good little Catholic girl, I loved Easter Sunday. The new church dress, color-coordinated straw hat and coat, white cotton gloves and shiny patent leather shoes were the order of the day. This was 1968 and all ladies, even those with gap-toothed grins and scabby knees from tripping over a jump rope were expected to dress as such. My sisters and I were as colorful as a freshly picked spring bouquet in shades of lipstick pink, sunny yellow and navy blue. Easter colors…the shade of freshly dyed eggs and the pretty candies nestled in the baskets sitting on the kitchen table awaiting our return from mass.

Not me...

...but you get the idea
...but you get the idea

 There were marshmallow peeps in bright colors, jelly beans, shiny foil-wrapped chocolates and dime-store toys designed to work off all that sugar.  Paddles with rubber balls attached to them by a long elastic tether, rubberized punching balloons that just begged for a fistful of Minute rice so that banging them made a truly ear-assaulting ruckus, hula-hoops, jump ropes and a cuddly stuff bunny were our usual haul for this particular holiday.  While all these were wonderful, my favorite was always the chocolate bunny.  Posed in profile, it was solid chocolate. 

The Chocolate Bunny

Mmmmm...
Mmmmm...

Each of us received one, but because they looked identical, my mother would write our names on each one in the hope of avoiding confusion and squabbles. For one full day, her preventative measure worked. After that it became a race to see who could make their bunny last the longest and all hell broke loose.

I always started with the solid chocolate basket portion of the bunny when tackling it. Sometimes I would take a butter knife and saw off the entire chunk, enjoying it at my leisure. Other times, I would gnaw it off slowly, leaving teeth marks behind in the dense confection. But always, when we were done with our rabbits, my siblings and I would dutifully place it back in the box with our name on it and place it in the refrigerator for safe keeping.

Giant Chocolate Bunny

If the bunny had been this size, I might not have turned to a life of crime
If the bunny had been this size, I might not have turned to a life of crime

Seeing four solid chocolate bunnies in diminishing states every day in the refrigerator could bring out the devil in any child…and I was not immune. I didn’t start immediately. For the most part, I stuck it out for the ears, the head and the feet. But when my rabbit was more or less just a chunk of chocolate torso, that’s when the mischief began.

Noticing that my brother or sister were lagging behind me in the bunny-consuming contest, I was usually able to convince myself that one wouldn’t miss the ears all that much….or perhaps they’d think that they had eaten the head without remembering having done so. The trick was to keep the edge the same. If my brother was a cutter…then I made sure not to leave any ragged ends. My youngest sister was a gnawer. My five-year old mind briefly considered the fact that my crime could be prosecuted based upon my dental impressions, but I really didn’t think anybody would go to through all that bother. Luckily DNA testing had not been invented yet.

I never was caught. Of course, now one of my sisters will read this and go “Aha! I knew those were Laurie’s teeth marks!”

Hula Hoops are Fun!

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    • maggs224 profile image

      maggs224 

      9 years ago from Sunny Spain

      Loved this hub and the comments

    • countrywomen profile image

      countrywomen 

      9 years ago from Washington, USA

      Thanks a lot for all those kind words. A big {{HUG}} from me.

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR

      spryte 

      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      *waves to countrywomen*

      As if you'd need anything like a chocolate bunny because you are already sweetness personified :)

    • countrywomen profile image

      countrywomen 

      9 years ago from Washington, USA

      WOW!! Chocolate bunny is a great idea. You mentioned those wonderful magical childhood moments so beautifully. Thumbs up for a nice hub down the memory lane.

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR

      spryte 

      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Aggie - We are still talking chocolate, right? :)

    • agvulpes profile image

      Peter 

      9 years ago from Australia

      Your place or mine? You will have to byo!

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR

      spryte 

      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      LOL! Aggie - You can still undress the goody; you just can't taste it. Still want to compare it to sex? *evil grin*

      Misty! OMG!! Now that you mention it...my bunny's torso did seem to shrink over time. Perhaps I wasn't the only chocolate criminal mastermind after all. Just wait til I tell my father...he always like me best anyway. :P

      (Just KIDDING Rick, Michele, Ronda and Toni)

    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 

      9 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

      I was also wondering Spryte, if it might have been possible that whilst you were pilfering your siblings chocolate bunnies on the quiet, if they may have been doing the same to yours!!! Now that would be ironic :)

    • agvulpes profile image

      Peter 

      9 years ago from Australia

      The price we pay for a misspent childhood I must get up and declare I am a "Reformed Diabetic" and can no longer enjoy the joys of unwrapping that beautiful rich dark chocolate easter egg. The aroma of cocoa as you break the outer shell of the egg, and you place that first piece of chocolate into your mouth. UMMMM.

      I swear it's almost as good as sex!!!!!! ;-[)

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR

      spryte 

      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Ahhhhhh.... I see :) Well we do have Cadbury chocolate, but we have been denied the luxury of Freddo Frog in the U.S. In fact, I just love Cadbury Mini Eggs around Easter. Those things are addicting!!

      Don't worry, I only told them I was a spryte and improvised the secret handshake, but they seemed satisfied :) Thanks for enlightening me!!!

    • agvulpes profile image

      Peter 

      9 years ago from Australia

      Ok you win, girls are not usually admitted to the FFSS but you are not a "girl" if anyone asks you are a "spryte" OK!

      Here is the link you have to follow the tracks:-

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freddo_Frog

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR

      spryte 

      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Aggie: It's sad when I don't know who Freddo Frog is but I can figure out that FFSS is the Freddo Frog Secret Society... :)

      I swear allegience. Ummm....to a certain extent.

      Awwwww Misty - I'm sorry you never got to experience your own solid chocolate bunny. I'd say I'd send you one so you could find out now....but I have yet to a find a solid chocolate bunny that meets my standards these days. :( Either that or my memory deceives me and what I have is a bad case of nostalgia. :)

    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 

      9 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

      'Sniffle' we NEVER had solid chocolate bunnies, only boring hollow Easter Eggs with half a handful of sweets inside. The most exciting Easter gifts were the toy "Chicks" sitting in a nest of chocolate mini-eggs.

    • agvulpes profile image

      Peter 

      9 years ago from Australia

      "Aggie! What the heck is a Freddo Frog and how did he manage to insinuate himself into the Easter holiday? Inquiring minds want to know!"

      Ah my dear spryte, before I tell you , you have to swear allegiance to the "FFSS".

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR

      spryte 

      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      LOL!  Well...I'm taking advantage of my husband sleeping in to write this morning.  When he's in an unconscious state and I don't have to "come see this" I can usually keep my thoughts going in an orderly fashion.  Eventually though..he will wake up and I'll have to find something else that requires less concentration.

      Also...it's his birthday.  Hmmm...come to think of it, it's time he was woken up.  ;)

      Anna - I agree with you that the solid chocolate bunnies were the best. I hope my siblings will forgive me as well...but at the very least, there is nobody they can squeal to now and I can't be sent to my room or grounded. :)

    • Anna Marie Bowman profile image

      Anna Marie Bowman 

      9 years ago from Florida

      I miss those solid chocolate bunnies!!! All I seem to find now, are the hollow ones. Not nearly as good! This was fun to read! I hope your sisters forgive you for you previous acts of thievery!

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 

      9 years ago from Oklahoma

      Spryte, I won't beg, at least not standing up.

      (gwendymom gets on her kness) Please Spryte, Please. We miss you, we need your smiling face around again. I need someone to help me knock off candy stores and hijack hubs and shipments of imported chocolate.

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR

      spryte 

      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      I can see everyone's picture....enough to be pissed at my own stubbornness and start re-thinking it. But other than that, it won't let me in to just visit.

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 

      9 years ago from Oklahoma

      LOL. I think you can still look without joinging can't you? I don't know, I'm new to the whole thing.

      oh yeah, texting sucks.

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR

      spryte 

      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Unfortunately Gwendy, I can't since I don't belong to Facebook. And before you start (my husband has already tried) I have no plans on joining Facebook despite the fact that everyone I know seems to be on Facebook. :)

      I'm just pig-headed and stubborn that way. It took me eons to get a cellphone, to actually "text" anyone or use Myspace. I have too many addictions at the moment and they are beginning to cut into my actual "living" time...so I drew the line there. No Facebook.

      *folds arms and sets mouth in a firm line*

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 

      9 years ago from Oklahoma

      hey Spryte check this out.

      https://hubpages.com/forum/topic/12892

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR

      spryte 

      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Amanda: Chocolate rustling...I LOVE that term! It fits perfectly with the crime committed. :) I'm not sure how permanently I'm back...but I figured I really had to take care of this bunny business in time for Easter. I've dawdled on it long enough. So good to see you!!

      Gwendy: Awww...you think I'm cute :) *blush*

      I agree with you on the hollow bunnies....definitely a rip off. Nothing worse than biting into one and having it shatter into an air-filled pocket of nothing. Blah! Gimme the solid bunnies or nothing at all...that's what I say!

      OMG...I haven't had a Dolly Madison in eons but like you I loved them. And yes...it sounds like you were set up. What great grandparents!

    • gwendymom profile image

      gwendymom 

      9 years ago from Oklahoma

      LOL. Seriously could you be any more cute? I like CR was an ear nibbler. They just looked so tempting. I fill ripped off though, I always got the hollow bunnies and given that I love sweets as much as I do and my grandparents knowing this I think they were pushing me towards a life of chocolate bunny thievery. Come to think of it they used to put Dolly Madison snack cakes within my easy reach and tell me I couldn't have them because they were for my grandpa for his lunch. They knew I couldn't resist. It was a setup. All the pieces are fitting together now. I was being prepared for a life of crime.

      Hey wanna go knock over a candy store with me?

      Glad to have you back. I hope it's not fleeting either.

    • Amanda Severn profile image

      Amanda Severn 

      9 years ago from UK

      Spryte! Are you back, or is this just a fleeting visit?

      Reading about your easter bunny exploits reminds me of Easter in our house. The children get quite a few chocolate eggs from various relatives and friends. Invariably my ten year old manages to scoff his in the first 24 hours and feels generally unwell for several days. My daughter, who is older and wiser, rations hers out, and makes them last for weeks and weeks. Needless to say, there's quite a bit of sneaky chocolate rustling goes on before the last of big sis's eggs finally disappear!

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR

      spryte 

      9 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Good morning everyone :)

      Aggie! What the heck is a Freddo Frog and how did he manage to insinuate himself into the Easter holiday? Inquiring minds want to know!

      Cris - Nice to meet another person who can relate to the silly competitions kids can invent. :)

      Christoph - Funny...when I thought of ear-nibblers, I immediately thought of you! :) You'll be pleased to know that that THIS is a leading piece. I've been sitting on this great big lump of stuff I'd written and while trying to figure out how to present it, the problem began to solve itself when my subconscious mind said....break it up you silly goose! I scribbled this out in fifteen minutes and then my fingers simply stopped...refusing to go further. Today I am going to try to pick up act II. Love ya right back!

      BT - I'm so glad you dropped by! While re-reading that material I'd written, I was hit with divine inspiration and I had to scribble a note or two regarding your role in all of this given the subject matter. *evil grin* If only those bunnies HAD come with antlers...then there would have been another day of antler eating before turning my sights onto the chocolate bunny theivery....

      Ah well!

      Stay tuned :)

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 

      9 years ago from Hell, MI

      A Spryte sighting! It's been too long! If I had known that you were turning to crime, I would have left you two bunnies! You really should have said something, you know.

      Judging by the pictures, it looks like you ate the antlers first. That's how I do it too.

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 

      9 years ago from St. Louis

      So great to read one of your lovely stories, my dear. I think like most kids, I ate the ears first. I knew you should save the best for last, but who could resist those delicious ears? Can you continue to write more, please. You can just send me letters instead, if you want.

      Luv ya!

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 

      9 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Cute story. I knew you were the choco bunny thief - oh okay, because I read. Anyway, thanks for sharing this. It reminded me of a childhood memory where my sister and me would hold a similar contest - the one who resisted eating everything of anything won. Of course, I always lost :D

    • agvulpes profile image

      Peter 

      9 years ago from Australia

      spryte, you sure did know a lot of stuff for a 5 year old.

      We were so poor (or stupid)when I was a kid my older brother used to tell us that the Easter Bunny had been kidnapped, and all he left was a Freddo Frog!

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