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Choosing Happy Bridal Parties: What You Need to Know!

Updated on October 6, 2015
This bride did not choose her bridal party wisely.
This bride did not choose her bridal party wisely.

Why YOU Need a Happy Bridal Party...

There's nothing worse than having a bridal party with disgruntled members. They can make life miserable for the bride- and groom-to-be. 

I can't tell you how many emails I receive like this one: "Deb, can I disinvite one of my bridesmaids? She's making it miserable for me..."

Answer: No you can't. You selected the people for your bridal party and to ask one to leave, would cause terrible hurt feelings.

NOTE: Weddings are times of inclusion, not exclusion.

Don't choose those who are financially stressed to be in your bridal party.
Don't choose those who are financially stressed to be in your bridal party.

Rules for Selecting Happy Bridal Parties

Let's say you have a good friend who just lost her job, and your fiancé has a good friend who will be out of the country until before the wedding...

Should these people be asked to be in your wedding? NO.

Weddings are expensive for bridal-party members. Women are responsible for buying their outfits, including all accessories and men are responsible for renting tuxes. Collectively, they are responsible for travel expenses and lodging to and from the wedding. They are also responsible for shower and wedding gifts—and the maid of honor and best man are responsible to host a shower and bachelor party, respectively.

To put it bluntly: Weddings, for bridal party members, who are not emotionally and financially prepared, can push them right over the edge and make your life unhappy!

And what good is a prospective bridal-party member who will be out of town until before the wedding date?

It's up to YOU to make the right selections when it comes to choosing the perfect bridal party!
It's up to YOU to make the right selections when it comes to choosing the perfect bridal party!

The Solution to the Bridal-Party Dilemma

Let's say that one of these people in the examples I gave happens to be your closest friend or dearest relative. Then what?

The solution is simple: Help them financially so that they don't feel the burden, emotionally or financially, of being a part of your wedding. Make it a joy for them to participate; don't make their life harder. Purchase their wedding attire, pay for their trip to the wedding, if applicable. You get the picture :-).

And if someone is out of town, or out of the country, as in this example, don't make your expectations too high. Do all you can for them so that they don't feel like they're placing a burden on you. You'll be so glad you did!

P.S. Visit Deborah McCoy, AAWP:


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