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"Dear Santa" Christmas Quotes And Status Updates

Updated on December 24, 2018
stricktlydating profile image

StricktlyDating is an Australian writer who creates pages of original funny quotes and status updates.

A collection of cute, cheeky and funny "Dear Santa" quotes, status updates and meme's.

You can share this page of funny Dear Santa quotes on your Facebook and Twitter timeline this Christmas by tapping any of the images on the page.

Dear Santa Quotes And Statuses:

  • Dear Santa, I want IT ALL.
  • Dear Santa, I can EXPLAIN....
  • Dear Santa, Define 'Good'.
  • Dear Santa, Is it too late to be good?
  • Dear Santa, Please bring me a fat wallet and a skinny body... And don't mix those two up like you did last year!
  • Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is enough wine to get me through Christmas.
  • Dear Santa, I've been good all year. Most of the time. Ok, occasionally... Damn it, I'll buy my own gifts this year.
  • Dear Santa, you're really on point this season, I mean with that hipster beard and all.
  • Dear Santa, I refuse to sit on one more old fat man's lap to get what I want for Christmas!
  • Dear Santa, be Claus I'm worth it!
  • Dear Santa, You can skip my house this year. He's everything I ever wanted.
  • Dear Santa, when I was a kid you gave me a yo yo, and now you're dishing out iPad's to three year olds! Seriously!
  • Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is your list of names of the naughty girls.
  • Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is the cash to cover this Christma!
  • Dear Santa, I hope he fits in your sack!
  • Dear Santa, You can't provide what I need.
  • Dear Santa, I have wants and needs. I have been a good girl all year. Please and thank you...
  • Dear Santa, Stop calling me offensive names like "Ho ho ho!"
  • Dear Santa, I've been naughty. I'm a really BAD girl... Leave me nothing!
  • Dear Santa, Life is too short to be good all year through!
  • Dear Santa, It's the silly season, that's my excuse...
  • Dear Santa, So what, I'm still a rock star! I've got my rock moves, and I don't need you!
  • Dear Santa, I decided to be naughty to save you the trip.
  • Dear Santa, I hope you and your elves been very busy, because I've been very good.
  • Dear Santa, keep calm Christmas is almost here.
  • Dear Santa, keep calm and know you're loved by billions.
  • Dear Santa, Thank you in advance for all of the gifts I'm about to receive.
  • Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty... And it was so WORTH IT!
  • Dear Santa, Don't forget the $1,000,000 this year. Because I'm worth it.
  • Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a Ferrari (And a hot rich man who loves me to go with it).
  • Dear Santa, Please send your credit card details. Since you take credit for the gifts you should start paying for them.
  • Dear Santa, I've been good but I don't want anything for myself, can you just use your magic dust and make Miley disappear.
  • Dear Santa, I don't want gifts, I just want a ride in your sleigh tonight.
  • Dear Santa, you are sending me broke!
  • Dear Santa, Please don't bring me chocolates as they are very fattening. Just leave cash.
  • Dear Santa, I've been REALLY good! So go on and spoil me!
  • Dear Santa, what is your secret to staying old?
  • Dear Santa, socks are not on my Christmas list.
  • Dear Santa, I believe in you again. Honest... Bring me presents!
  • Dear Santa, Where's my bike?!
  • Dear Santa, I really tried to be good this year, but there were so many other options.
  • Dear Santa, if I leave you milk and cookies this year will you leave me better presents?

  • Dear Santa, if I leave more beer and carrots will you come and visit more often?
  • Dear Santa, you look totally different to the man I had my photo with last year. Did you get a makeover?
  • Dear Santa, I noticed you have Target brand in the North Pole, and even the same wrapping paper as my parents! Wow!
  • Dear Santa, you go dashing through snow sitting in your velvet lined sleigh, and here I am dashing around every shopping center and wrapping gifts until midnight after working my behind off all year to pay for it. Seem fair?
  • Dear Santa, why did you use my mother's wrapping paper?
  • Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is enough hours in the day to visit every one.
  • Dear Santa, Thank you for coming only once a year. It gives me time to save up.
  • Dear Santa, let me know when you're ready to trade in for a younger model, because I'm really partial to well travelled and cuddly men!
  • Dear Santa, when I whisper what I want for Christmas in your ear, don't be alarmed, most big kids could do with a credit card with unlimited credit these days.
  • Dear Santa, this year could be lonely for me, please just bring me a wealthy eligible bachelor!
  • Dear Santa, Last year I was bad, I know, but this year I'm no "Ho! Ho! Ho!"

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© 2011 StrictlyQuotes


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    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 

      5 years ago from Northeast of Dallas, Texas

      These are great. From 1953, Eartha Kitt, "Santa Baby", a '54 convertible will do...or a yacht, "so hurry down the chimney tonight".

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Australia

      Happy Holidays DDE :)

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Great hub! I like these updates. Happy Holidays to you!

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Australia

      Thank you and wishing you a very happy Christmas!

    • AustralianNappies profile image


      5 years ago from Australia

      Love these Christmas Quotes!

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Australia

      Great! Thanks peachpurple!

    • peachpurple profile image


      7 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      Funny quotes to fit in christmas cards. Will bookmark them for this year christmas. Thanks

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Australia

      What a cheeky comment! That's so cute you were Santa, you'd be such a jolly Santa I'm sure!

    • diogenes profile image


      8 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Ha! I'll spank you if Santa won't. I actually was Santa actually, in General Motors ad. circa 89 to 93.

      Big bucks and a lot of fun Bob


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