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Feast of Fools

Updated on January 18, 2013

Welcome to the Feast of Fools

This light-hearted lens is dedicated to the promotion of an unusual April Fool's Day event to be held in the heart of Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.

The "Feast of Fools" is an entertaining excuse to pay tribute to class clowns, mirthful munchkins, and jest-in-time jokers who remind us all not to take life so seriously, especially on April Fool's Day!

And what would a gregarious gathering of grape nuts be in Victoria, (the capital of far too many flakes and fruitcakes), without a fun-loving fool and happy hostess ...none other than the majestic Monarch of Mirth herself, Her Royal Highness, The Quipping Queen & Empress of Eccentricity?

CELEBRATE FIRST FOOL'S DAY!

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They say that 'only fools fall in love" or that "when your nose itches, you should either drink wine or kiss a fool" but what fool pray tell invented kissing?

If "fools rush in where angels fear to tread", then why remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt?

What any fool knows is that the world is an upside down, topsy-turvey place masquerading as reason (read power and greed) not to mention oodles of rules and regulations so everyone fits neatly into a box (preferably with a lid on it).

The fool is an "agent of divine espionage" who mirrors back the crazy jumbled jigsaw puzzle we call home. We owe the fool a debt of gratitude for he reminds us not to take life so seriously. And more importantly, through his efforts, he tries to set the world aright, redress imbalances and injustices previously wrought, and reinspire or re-ensoul the world.

So, take some time today and toast your favorite fool -- of course kissing one is optional!

Just call me "Jest-in-Time Jezebel"!

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FOOLS RUSH IN WHERE THERE'S FERMENTED FRUIT!

FOOLS RUSH IN WHERE THERE'S FERMENTED FRUIT!
FOOLS RUSH IN WHERE THERE'S FERMENTED FRUIT!

Jest in time for a little libation on April Fool's Day!

Jest in time for a little libation on April Fool's Day!
Jest in time for a little libation on April Fool's Day!

FEAST OF FOOLS EVENT INVITATION

"FEAST OF FOOLS"

A Wonky Wine-Tasting Event

To Celebrate April Fool's Day!

VENUE: Wherever you'd like to celebrate folly in the company of other fools like you!

HOST: You and your invited guest of honor, H.R.H. Quipping Queen & Empress of Eccentricity!

DRESS: Be daring -- it's time to make a fool of yourself!

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Image Credit: Jack Cooper, Victoria, B.C. Illustrator

THE ART OF GRAPE GUZZLING

Thank goodness there will be a place for snobs and snooty so-and-so's to show off their fancy schmansy sniffing skills.

Gurus of Grapes know there are four easy steps you can take to get to know any wine.

1. Check out the colour...is it red or white? No, it doesn't come in stripes!

2. Stick your nose right in the glass...all the way and take a big whiff of those delightful aromas...what does it make you think of? c'mon guess again.

3. Taste...let the wine touch the roof of your mouth, the inside of your cheeks... swish it around, take in air if you want (provided of course you keep your mouth shut).

4. Now try judging the taste, the texture, and finish of the wine, spit it out and move on to the next little gem.

This is serious business for fools, because if you start imbibing to your heart's content you won't be able to taste or remember the others. Don't be shy about spitting. Frankly, it's probably one of the few times that you can spit in public without being called a "boor" or without being arrested!

After you've sampled the wines, give three reasons why you like them. Now here is where it gets fun...because fermented fruit comes with some pretty nutty names...and we're looking for the funniest wine reviews possible.

Here's a sample of the wicked wines available from Spinnakers in James Bay for tasting:

-- See Ya Later Ranch Ping 2006 (BC VQA)

-- Blasted Church (BC VQA)

-- Rigamarole Rose (BC VQA)

-- Naked Grape (BC VQA)

-- Red Rooster (BC VQA)

-- Misconduct - Misfit (BC VQA)

-- Monster Wines (BC VQA)

-- Bete Noir (BC VQA)

-- Funky Llama Merlot (Argentina)

-- Knick, Knack Paddy Whack Ozzy Red (Australia)

-- Mr. Riggs - The Gaffer (Australia)

-- Toasted Head Chardonnay (US)

-- Barefoot (US)

-- Menage a trois (US)

-- Red Truck (US)

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Image Credit: NoahKroese@flickr.com

SPITTING IS AN ART. Please sip with grace and aplomb. Remember, spraying your neighbor is "bad form" while spitting into his/her glass or on the floor is very verboten!

SHE'S TAKING WINE TASTING TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL! (Image Credit: VinoFamily)

SHE'S TAKING WINE TASTING TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL! (Image Credit: VinoFamily)
SHE'S TAKING WINE TASTING TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL! (Image Credit: VinoFamily)

WINE COMPOSITION: 86% water, 11.2% alcohol, 2.8% other. Over 250 compounds have been identified in the "other" category. That's why wine-making is an art not a science!

HOSTESS WITH THE MOSTEST!

Your hostess for the evening will be the inimitable, intriguing, and interestingly different Monarch of Mirth, Her Royal Highness Quipping Queen & Empress of Eccentricity.

HRH-QQ, a wonderfully witty wench, has graced us with her presence on two previous occasions to honor "April Fool's Day", a relatively little-known and celebrated event in the capital of flakes, nuts, and fruitcakes not to mention a wide array of wonderful windbags in the legislature (located less than three blocks from the event venue).

This entertaining event promises to be a wonderful way to wink, whet your whistle, wax forth about the witty wines available for tasting or wait for the best time to make your grape escape!

Only A Fool Knows...

It's easy to mock the easy-drinking wines from France's Beaujolais region, ever the more so with marketing taglines suggesting we all "Get Beaujolaid."

DON'T HOG THE WINE!

Remember, don't be a pig when it comes to pleasing your palate.

If bottles of wine are available and guests can pour their own, don't be a wine hog and go back for seconds, thirds, or fourths!

Wine tasting is all about sharing the sunburned skins not swilling it like any freaking fool!

Which brings me to the importance of finding some witty words to say about my favorite topic, wine.

"My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool." -- Jonathan Swift

"A mind of the caliber of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows." -- George Bernard Shaw

"If a life of wine, women and song becomes too much, give up the singing." -- Anonymous

"I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out." -- Robin Williams

"If drinking is evil, then why did Jesus turn water to wine?" -- Mae West

"Blind tastings are to wine what strip poker is to love." -- Kermit Lynch

"Love is like wine. To sip is fine, but to empty the bottle is a headache." -- Julio Iglesias

"Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine." -- Joan Collins

"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to a lack of wine." -- Anonymous

"I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food." -- W.C. Fields

"A fine man is like a fine wine." -- Mae West

"Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it." -- Anonymous

"What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch?" -- W. C. Fields

"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them." -- Madonna

"You have to fully enjoy the aroma. On your first sip, hold it on the roof of your mouth for a moment and breathe through your nose. Then you will feel the flavor. ... A bad year will be sharp. A good year, which this is of course, will waft." -- from the 1958 movie, "Gigi".

"My dad used to have to open the second bottle of wine in the loo in case Mum heard the cork coming out." -- Hugh Grant

"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."-- Fran Lebowitz

"Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age." -- Pope John XXIII

"I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine." -- Anonymous

"A bold wine with a hint of sophistication and lacking in pretension. (Pause.) Actually I was just talking about myself." -- From the wickedly funny wine 1995 movie, "French Kiss".

Out to dinner with Miss Piggy, Kermit the Frog orders a bottle of bubbly, which turns out to be sparkling Muscatel from Idaho that Martin "uncorks" with a beer opener. Kermit is about to sip some when Miss Piggy reminds him that the expert is supposed to taste it first. Martin takes a sip, spits it out in a rush, grimaces, then composes his face into a smarmy smile and says, "An excellent choice." I feel like I've ordered wine from that sommelier". -- from the 1979 silver screen sensation, "The Muppet Movie"

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Image Credit: Amanda Woodward@flickr.com

Ever wondered what finger food to serve with fermented fruit? Join our gorgeous grape group and find out!

Trust me, Bozolais is not any kind of booze!

SO JOIN IN THE FUN AT THE FERMENTED FRUIT AND FOOL'S FESTIVAL!

This lively libation event will feature impromptu merry musings from invited guests, and instructions on how to sample wines without spilling on your date or mate, and where to find the funniest fermented fruit labels.

So pull up a stool and join us for an evening of munchies, mirth, and merry-making!

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Image Credit: Sketchees@flickr.com

A POWERFUL PINOT:

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as PINO MORE.

THE GODDESS OF GRIPES AND GRAPES

Martha Stewart's Way: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Maxine's Way: Leftover wine?

A WITTY WINE LABEL FROM "DOWNUNDER"

CELEBRATE APRIL FOOL'S WITH A JUG OF WINE AND THOU! (Image Credit: shawn patrick rice@flickr.com)

CELEBRATE APRIL FOOL'S WITH A JUG OF WINE AND THOU! (Image Credit: shawn patrick rice@flickr.com)
CELEBRATE APRIL FOOL'S WITH A JUG OF WINE AND THOU! (Image Credit: shawn patrick rice@flickr.com)

Fools Are Nothing But Fermented Fruit Folks

THE FIRST "FEAST OF FOOLS" EVENT HELD IN VICTORIA, B.C.!

Any fool knows that "Naughty" & "Nice" are flip sides of the same coin!

GRAPES & GOOD BOOKS

Red, White, and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass
Red, White, and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass

What do you mean you've never heard of "The Grape Escape"?

 
Women of the Vine: Inside the World of Women Who Make, Taste, and Enjoy Wine
Women of the Vine: Inside the World of Women Who Make, Taste, and Enjoy Wine

Vintage vixens on the vine...a flavor and force you'll never forget!

 
Corkscrewed: Adventures in the New French Wine Country (At Table)
Corkscrewed: Adventures in the New French Wine Country (At Table)

You can bet your bottom Bacchanalian dollar that you'll get your money's worth from this little gem!

 
Judgment of Paris
Judgment of Paris

For those who love drama and damn fine grapes!

 

TRY MIND-MAPPING TO INSPIRE A BIT OF MIRTH AND MAYHEM!

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread...which means either God forgot to give them a cerebellum or, they don't give a sweet tweet about heaven when they can fool around to their heart's content in the Garden of Eden!

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Image Credit: www.mindmapinspiration.com

FEEDBACK FROM FERMENTED FRUIT-TYPES - So, smarty-pants, have you ever tasted "Megalomaniac Wine"?

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      RingLeader 5 years ago

      Pretty Cool Lens as a collector of unique cards and online magic store owner. This lens was right up my alley!

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      Barbara Walton 5 years ago from France

      Loved your wacky lens.

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      awakeningwellness 5 years ago

      Wonderfully witty!

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      joanv334 6 years ago

      Hello, enjoyed your lens!

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      Tony Payne 8 years ago from Southampton, UK

      Another wonderful wacky witty lens. 5***** and warmly welcomed to the "Laugh Away" group on Squidoo. Also Favorited, and Lensrolled to my Humor lenses.

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      tandemonimom lm 8 years ago

      Welcome to the HAPPY HOLIDAY HUMOR group, and 5*!