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Five Halloween Costumes For Boys With Hipster Parents
Hipsters are not like regular parents
As hipsters have grown older and started to reproduce, they've quickly created a young generation of hipster offspring. These children, like their parents, are not like regular children. They are only allowed to watch television shows and movies ironically, which means they can't watch what's popular unless they do so with an air of superiority over the masses who just want some genuine entertainment.
Each year when Halloween rolls around the hipster parents are presented with a new challenge: how can they draw attention to their child's costume without just dressing them up in whatever costume is popular that year? Any kid can be Harry Potter, but what are some costumes that none of the other children will "get" but at least some of their parents will?
Let's take a look at some costume ideas for children of hipster parents. For now I'll stick to just boys or unisex costumes, but when I find some more I'll try to do a special list just for girls.
5. The $100 bill costume
It's greedy. It's arrogant. It's a statement on the decline of western society and class warfare. None of these are things than young children will understand, but they'll enjoy being dressed up as a piece of money. The child wearing this costume will likely request the cash equivalent of candy when trick-or-treating. Enjoy it while he's young -- next year he's planning to dress up as Gordon Gekko.
4. The Man-Eating Shark
This one makes the list because it's unnecessarily violent yet it allows us all to have a good laugh at the death of a fellow human being. Hipsters love it because the shark, which was probably starving thanks to the destruction of its habitat and its natural food sources, is taking revenge on the human, who was probably just some tourist trying to take a picture to post on his Facebook wall.
3. The Whoopie Cushion
This costume is fun because it's an item that imitates flatulence. It says "sit on my kid and he'll make a farting noise". My lower class parents wouldn't let me own a whoopie cushion when I was a kid because they thought it was "beneath us". Now people are actually dressing their kids up as these things. What a world we live in!
Most small children today don't care about Ghostbusters. Most of them don't even know what Ghostbusters was. They are totally baffled by their parents weird obsession with Bill Murray, and why they go hungry some nights while their parents are busy filling out petitions on the internet to get "them" to make Ghostbusters 3. This retro costume was one of the most popular Halloween costumes... 25 years ago! The franchise that died a long time ago is still alive and well in the minds of nostalgic hipster parents.
1. Retro Batman Batsuit
Who cares if all the other kids are going to be dressed as the dark and broody Batman from the Christopher Nolan movies? The cool kids will be the retro Adam West Batman, with the either the black or the blue cape and the tights (is that underwear being worn on the outside of his pants?). This is the Batman that existed 40 years before the children who will be trick-or-treating this year were born, which makes it fun for all the older parents and probably none of the children. KA-BOOOM!