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Funny Christmas Jokes and Pictures

Updated on December 21, 2010
Christmas Laughs
Christmas Laughs

Merry Christmas To Everyone

Since Christmas is right around the corner, I have decided to compile a small list of Christmas jokes and pictures to get you into the holiday spirit if your not already.  Everyone deserves to laugh a little during the holiday season.  I wish everyone here at hubpages and those who came via search engine a very Merry Christmas.   I hope you enjoy.

Funny Christmas Jokes

What happens when you stop believing in Santa Clause?

You start getting clothes for Christmas


What do elfs learn in school?

The Elf-abet


If athletes get athletes foot, then what do astronauts get?

Missletoe


Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

He had low elf-esteem


What nationality is Santa Clause?

North Polish


How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree


What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle


If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?

A subordinate claus


Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.


What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks


Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
I have no eye deer.


If you live in an igloo, what's the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!


Why is the slippery ice like music?
If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!


Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

If anyone feels that any of these pictures are too inappropriate, please let me know and I will remove them.  I found them very humorous but I completely understand if some don't.

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    • profile image

      Marni 

      4 years ago

      Evyonree would benefit from reading this post

    • profile image

      summerrose70 

      8 years ago

      Cute joke dahoglund, as for fresh2def, you got the joke right they call the communist Red ( not sure why)anyone gets a answer get back to me.

    • fresh2def05 profile imageAUTHOR

      fresh2def05 

      8 years ago from Louisville, Ky

      dahoglund,

      Yes, I gathered that. I just didn't understand why he said he was red. Lol, I guess I'm just a little slow today. Thanks for reading anyway. I hope your having a Merry Christmas.

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 

      8 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      I think the joke is a pun on the song title "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer."

    • fresh2def05 profile imageAUTHOR

      fresh2def05 

      8 years ago from Louisville, Ky

      dahoglund,

      I'll be perfectly honest with you. I don't quite understand the joke. I mean, I understand where he says "know rain, dear". But why does he say "Rudolph the red"? I'm guessing it has something to do with him being a Russian communist.

      summerrose,

      I'm glad your office enjoyed this hub. I wish you and everyone at your office a Merry Christmas. Thank for reading.

    • profile image

      summerrose70 

      8 years ago

      Our office loved this,there were laughs in the break room all day, thanks for bringing joy to these employees.

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 

      8 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      This is an old joke dating back to the cold war.

      A Russian communist named Rudolph and his wife were looking out the window.

      The wife says "it is snowing Rudolph"

      He replies "no it raining"

      The wife replies "No dear it is snowing."

      He irritably says 'Rudolph the red , know rain, Dear.

    • profile image

      Pat Sims 

      8 years ago

      I love to laugh and that is just what you made me do. Hope you have a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

      Keep up the great work!

    • fresh2def05 profile imageAUTHOR

      fresh2def05 

      8 years ago from Louisville, Ky

      Thanks summerrose and sandra,

      I am very glad that you enjoyed this hub. Have a blessed Christmas as well as a happy New Year.

    • profile image

      sandra f 

      8 years ago

      great material!

    • profile image

      summerrose70 

      8 years ago

      I am going to print a copy of this for my office, this is too funny! Thanks for the comic relief. Diggy, you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year as well.

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