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Funny Things to Write in a Goodbye Card

Updated on October 31, 2018
Brite-Ideas profile image

Barbara has spent over forty years writing poems, lyrics, and sayings for cards, and interpreting the meanings and messages in song.

Funny Things to Write in a Goodbye Card
Funny Things to Write in a Goodbye Card | Source

When you need to write something funny in a goodbye card but just can't get the neurons flowing, use these suggested sayings as inspiration or just write them as is directly inside your card.

Below you'll find funny goodbye sayings about workers leaving, relationship break-ups and moving away.

If you're not into cards, use these sayings as sarcastic humor in a goodbye text.

Saying Goodbye - Don't Leave Me
Saying Goodbye - Don't Leave Me | Source

Funny Things to Write in a Goodbye Card for a Co-Worker

1. Heard you're leaving, even the little birdie is a gossiping witch

2. Please don't go, until we hold an office party, we all want cake

3. Since we found out you're leaving, we've been secretly measuring your office

4. Don't go, we can't handle all the crap that's gonna fall on our lap

5. You work harder than anyone I know, including me, so I'm in serious trouble if you're going!

6. Don't go out with a whimper, leave a trail of you're awesomeness behind

7. It's ridiculous, you shouldn't be leaving, our incompetence is going to really stand out now

8. In life there are takers and givers, you're taking yourself from us and we're going to give you a second chance to rethink the whole thing!

9. When you're missing us, remembering how you used to roll your eyes at us most days

10. We're going to miss you, but mostly we're going to miss how you carried the load around here

11. You work well with others, but we're easy to get along with. So, yah.

12. I can't even. You're leaving? Well I'm quitting cause I'm gonna get stuck with all your work.

13. Time teaches us a lot of things, mostly that all good things come to an end. You're leaving, that sucks

14. If these walls could talk, we could give you one heck of a send off!

15. You've left a big impression here, now it's time to let someone else have the glory!

16. We all got together to get you this card, 'cause with our salaries that's all we can afford.

17. So since nobody is replacing you, do we get your salary divided amongst us?

18. Don't worry about anything, it couldn't possibly be any worse than working around here!

19. You're so damn lucky, we can't believe you get to the job of your dreams when all we get is the remnants of your nightmares!

20. Traveling into the future armed with, well, nothing. Way to go!

Funny things to write in a goodbye card - Funny egg card, 'geez when he said he was leaving I didn't think it would be this final'
Funny things to write in a goodbye card - Funny egg card, 'geez when he said he was leaving I didn't think it would be this final' | Source

Funny Things to Write in a Goodbye Card for Someone Who Just Had a Relationship Break-Up

1. Freedom means a lot when it's the one thing you haven't been able to claim for so long, so go do all the things that fool prevented you from doing!

2. You can do anything after surviving that nightmare relationship! The world is yours now!

3. Breakups are like icicles, at first you're frozen and unable to move but then you start to melt right back into life

4. The gifts you are given make us who we are, and sometimes those gifts are hidden in the break-ups that should have happened long ago! Congrats on finally getting the best gift

5. He's out of your life and now you're back into life, welcome back

6. Don't cry, I'm here to take you out and enjoy every single thing you've missed!

7. You had the courage to walk out and let's face it, that took more guts than most of us have, congrats!

8. One down

9. You're daring to dream, oh crap forget that, you've been freed from hell!

10. In your battle for independence, I say congrats on the win!

11. Going solo, that's a hell of lot more fun anyway

12. The next chapter in life is a blank page, and that's a heck of a lot better than the previous one

13. You seem to have trouble keeping a relationship going? Lucky you!

14. When you know where you're going, it's wise to rid yourself of those who would stop you! Congrats on doing that

15. Without the extra weight, you're lighter and free, congrats on re-entering the single scene

16. Someone is out there who has been tagged with your name, now you're free to find them

17. It ain't over til it's over, so guess what, it's over.

18. You're out of that disaster, congrats on breaking free

19. Your life was on hold, now you're single again, it's back on!

20. Don't cry because it's over, cry because it took you this long to come to your senses!

21. If the world had one message to give you during your time of turmoil, I'm guessing that word would be 'finally'

22. Breaking up is hard to do, but on the upside, you are single again!

23. Ending it was better than starting it

24. You're heart is held in my hands while you go through the healing process of ditching this kook

25. You are never alone, especially now that you're broken up! You were more alone together

26. The rules are not fair, the game is rigged but now you're the winner because you're free from the clutch of that so called relationship

27. You've taken the plunge back into life and who can blame you!

28. You've been trapped for so long in that go-nowhere relationship that you'll have to take a month to figure out how to get somewhere now

29. If there were ever a way to describe your relationship that is no more, I would have called it 'the most confusing time of your life'. Glad you're out!

30. Just because you're broken up, doesn't mean you have to be broken up

31. Goodbye means you never have to say sorry

We're leaving on a positive note
We're leaving on a positive note | Source

Funny Things to Write in a Goodbye Card for Someone Who is Moving Away

1. I'm going to miss your crazy ways

2. Without you who will I blame for all my crap

3. When you leave people are gonna wonder where the trouble maker went

4. Don't move away, I need you to deflect my antics

5. Stars always move on, so why the heck are you going anywhere?

6. We can't hold you back even though we tried every underhanded trick there was

7. So you're leaving us? Are you sure that's wise, we could end up in a bag of trouble with you gone

8. The good ones always leave, so we can't figure out why you're going?

9. You're going halfway around the world and I'll still be able to track your every move

10. Take the world by the tail and show it whose boss

11. You're about to show everyone in your new city what a hurricane really is!

12. You're a traveling soul, either that or you're just scared to get to know anyone

13. We hope you enjoy your new home as much as we enjoyed your annoyingly wonderful personality

14. Leaving the past behind is impossible, because I can hunt you down on social media. You can run but you cannot hide

15. I would miss you, except now there's facebook, Instagram, snapchat, twitter, facetime and skype. Will we ever be free of each other?

16. No matter how far you move away, I'll see you everyday online anyway, so go ahead, change your address. It makes no difference, I'll find you.

17. It used to be that moving away meant letter writing, long distance phone calls and plane rides to see each other. Now you're just an internet connection away, so go ahead, move!

18. I'll miss you, but ignore me, I'm a weepy eyed baby anyway

19. Head out into the wild. Well ok, head out into a new city.

20. You're moving from the city to a small town, wow, culture shock is on the way

© 2018 Barbara Tremblay Cipak

Add your own goodbye lines, or just comment :)

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    • Brite-Ideas profile imageAUTHOR

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 

      4 months ago from Toronto, Canada

      Mary you're right, we're all so connected that there almost is never a goodbye!

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 

      4 months ago from Ontario, Canada

      There are always people leaving our lives so this is handy. I like No.15 in the last list. Yesterday, I had friends from grade school who came to visit and we all connected on social media. We sure can't leave each other now.

    • Brite-Ideas profile imageAUTHOR

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 

      4 months ago from Toronto, Canada

      Virginia, good one. Thank you. And yes, couldn't agree more, Facebook can be a useful tool.

    • Brite-Ideas profile imageAUTHOR

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 

      4 months ago from Toronto, Canada

      Lorelei, lol, thank you

    • Virginia Allain profile image

      Virginia Allain 

      4 months ago from Central Florida

      Don't be a stranger, let's keep in touch on Facebook.

      Actually, FB has been a boon for me to stay connected with former co-workers and even some friends from high school.

    • Lady Lorelei profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 

      4 months ago from Canada

      OMG the eggs are so funny. Thank you for this wonderful list of good-bye quotes and sayings. You certainly brought a smile to my morning.

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