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20 Funny Valentine's Day Sayings

Updated on January 8, 2015

Using funny Valentine’s Day sayings in a card is a great way to make light of a holiday usually drowned out by roses and chocolates!

Let’s face it, Valentine’s Day has become yet another holiday of the money-hungry corporations. Stick it to the man by making your own gifts and cards this year!


Funny Valentine’s Day Sayings

We all know that there’s different levels of funny when it comes to funny Valentine’s Day sayings. How do you know which is the most appropriate for the person you are making the card for? Here’s some tips:

  • Age: Of course any message you decide to write must be appropriate for the age! This means parents need to monitor their children’s work and help them word their cards accordingly.

  • Gender: Be sure the chosen message makes sense for the gender giving and the gender receiving the card. It can be pretty awkward.

  • Relationship: What can be even more awkward is receiving a card from a brother that was meant for a girlfriend! (Never let him live that one down).

  • Beliefs: If your friend or mate has strong religious beliefs, this doesn’t mean they lack a sense of humor, it just means perhaps you should keep it on the cleaner side; something that won’t be offensive to their religious beliefs.

  • Sense of humor: Speaking of sense of humor, you don’t want to give someone a funny card if they are lacking in this area altogether!

Use common sense and good judgement all the way around, and you will end up giving the perfect card! If you need a few ideas as to what may be appropriate for certain people, here’s a list of funny Valentine’s Day sayings broken down by group!

Be sure to also check out: 15 Funny Ways to Say "I Love You!


For Family

  • A thousand hearts is too few to carry the love I have for you! Happy Valentine’s Day to my baby! (You will always be my baby, get over it already.)

  • When you’re an adult and have kids of your own, you’ll understand how big your heart can really grow! ...And the messes that come along with it. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • My kids have the sweetest mom around! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • The satisfaction I get from having you as my love and to torture.. well, there’s no other words to describe it. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • I left you all the orange and strawberry-filled chocolates. Happy Valentine’s Day, ENJOY!


For Friends

  • You drink too much, swear too much, and have questionable morals. You're everything I ever wanted in a friend. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose! Happy Valentine’s Day to the friend I picked!

  • Love is in the air, get out the gas mask! Happy Valentine’s Day, Buddy!

  • You say “potato,” I look like one! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • So I decided to spend Valentine’s Day with my true love..FOOD! Oh, I suppose you will do. Happy Valentine’s Day!

For Mates

  • Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you’re CuTe!

  • Valentine, when asked what my favorite thing to do is, I always respond with your name. Happy Love Day!

  • If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus FINE! Happy Valentine’s Day, you fine thang!

  • Always remember that I love you just the way I am. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • If love is blind, then I guess I won’t be needing this lingerie! Happy Valentine’s Day!

For Kids

  • I hope your Valentine’s Day is sweeter than the cupcakes I made for you. Oh, it will be, I’m here! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, you’re the best so I chose you! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • I’d like to label you mine so I can tell our friends that you’re my Valentine! Will you be mine?

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, if you’re going to kiss me once, you’d better make it a few! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • What did the Valentine card say to the stamp? Stick with me, we’re going places! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Which do you prefer?

See results

Keeping a card clean is generally recommended for anyone other than your spouse, as long as they understand a dirty sense of humor.

Kids, hands down, should always have clean and innocent messages. Common sense goes a long way in wishing someone a Happy Valentine’s Day!

Bad Valentine Gifts


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