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Updated on December 16, 2009




This blog is part of a series. You might want to check out the initial blog of the series to get a quick overview snapshot of the series and how this blog fits in. BUT this blog also stands on its own!! Well, maybe it’s tilting just a tad! Okay, I’ll shush so you can read.

Remember the OLD Golden Rule? I don’t know how young I was, but I remember the Golden Rule was one of the first things I memorized. Let’s see if I still remember it? I’m sure someone has come up with a new translation, but I will stick to the OLD one. The Old Golden rule.

Do unto others as you want them to do unto you

.As a kid, I think the Golden Rule was my first cognitive experience of GIVING and perhaps Karma as well. I got it that you dish out what you want to get back.

In more recent years, I have experienced a different kind of giving. I’ve allowed myself to give and even want to give, just because, without any consideration to Karma. What I am aware of is there is a place I go to INSIDE where I get very very clear about what I want to give as well as what I do not want to give. This clarity makes the giving a matter of freedom than obligation. And I’m not expecting anything in return. Although, I do believe that once we enter into this giving place that the universe itself begins giving to us--again, just because, not because we deserve it or because we are good enough, but just because.

It may appear that I just contradicted myself there, but it’s not a contradiction. It’s a wonderful fine distinction, and I hope you get it.

Giving is very freeing. It is like the scene in Star Wars when Luke Skywalker is holding on to a piece of the space ship for dear life, but if he continues to hold on, Darth Vader will kill him. So he lets go. You know the rest of the story, don’t you?

In the last blog of this series on grief, we talked about grief being a physiological process. Giving is also a physiological process, and when I give, muscles throughout my body LET GO and become supple. My arms open up and are extended in contrast to being held close to my body in defense.

But this blog is not complete without looking at those moments when I don’t give and I withhold. Gotta look at that stuff too!

As much as I try to give just because and as much as I blog about it being so freeing, I still fall "victim" to withholding because on any given day I DO look at what I will get in return, especially when I prejudge that what I am about to give is an abundance and what the other person will reciprocate with is pittance!

It is also easy for me to slip into score keeping, so I remember what you have given me and at some point, I am more interested in evening up the score than I am in giving.

So I am not so giving afterall!

So as Paul Harvey would say, there’s the rest of the story.

Share with us your thoughts and examples of giving or NOT! 


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    • palmerlarryray profile image

      Larry Ray Palmer 

      8 years ago from Macon, Missouri

      You make a good point there Vern. How many of us pray for help and then turn it down when God sends a messenger? I know I have been guilty a few times.

    • vrbmft profile imageAUTHOR

      Vernon Bradley 

      8 years ago from Yucaipa, California

      I used to hate it when approached by a homeless person, but now I enjoy giving whatever I can at the moment, sometimes enough to support their habit, as one of my friends warns me! That's not for me to determine. Hey, when Roberta was dying, a group from our church paid half of our mortgage for six months. Roberta said absolutely not, and I insisted. I reminded her that we had praying for God's help. It's like the row boat and helicopter joke. It was a great relief since I was not putting in as many hours as usual in the practice. So I am happy that you have had that experience as well. People really are wonder-filled. In the words of Rodney King, we can all get along!!!

    • palmerlarryray profile image

      Larry Ray Palmer 

      8 years ago from Macon, Missouri

      That is one of the hardest lessons most people will ever learn, to share and give freely. I went many years just looking out for myself but when In started sharing, I found I was much happier and, while I may not have everything, I have everything I need.


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