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Getting Older: Happy(?) Birthday to Me

Updated on May 11, 2017

Getting Older

Well I turn 44 today. I am pretty sure I will be seeing 44s and 444s all day. Do I feel older? No, but it does feel like time is running more quickly. This year is going by fast. I already missed most of the spring, with two stays in the psych ward.

My boyfriend is sweet and surprised me this morning with a book I really wanted, the Nag Hammadi Scriptures. It is a translation of the gnostic gospels. The book is big and heavy. I will probably start reading it tonight. I am mostly interested in the Hermetic texts. I hope I find some useful information that can further my study on the esoteric. I haven't learned much new lately.

My first cup of coffee was bad this morning. I got up early at 6 AM, mostly because I went to bed early, but also because I am in the mood for writing. Writing really helps to distract me during episodes. Anyway, my coffee tasted unpleasant because my nephew brewed tea in the coffee maker last night. So I had some really nasty tea flavored coffee.

Both the car and truck are out of commission, so I won't be able to go shopping until one of them is fixed. That means no birthday cake for me. My boyfriend will be working on the truck after work. There is a loose hose and it is leaking water.

I will be opening cards from my siblings. Then I will respond to their happy birthday texts. My phone is acting weird and I got three random old texts at five this morning. This happened also last week, where I got five all at once. I really should get a new phone. But I don't have the money for it right now.

I used to like birthdays, but now it only means that I'm getting older. I don't feel old, but I definitely feel my age. The years go by really fast now. But I think that is the same for everyone at this age.


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