Gifts for the Redneck on Your List
Is Your Friend a Real Redneck?
When I decided to write an article to give folks some gift ideas for their redneck friends or family members I went to my daughter, Deborah for help. She is a bit of an expert on redneck culture. She came through with some very good ideas.
First, just in case you are not sure what makes one a redneck, you need to read a copy of Jeff Foxworthy’s You Might Be a Redneck if . . . In my mind they are a hard working, fun loving bunch with a wisdom that defies explanation and a keen appreciation of good food. All the rednecks I know are fantastic cooks, especially when they are cooking outdoors.
The Bobble Head Deer
Walmart or Bass Pro?
Deborah says, ”Rednecks are not only Southern, rednecks are everywhere.” She’s right. The way I know that is from watching Nascar – they have those races all over the country. ‘Course, Nascar started right in my home state of North Carolina, we just let the Yankees borrow it. But, I digress.
So, it has been established you DO have at least one redneck on your birthday, father's day, mother's day, or Christmas shopping list, maybe several. I thought the first place to go looking for redneck gifts was Walmart, but Deborah says Bass Pro Shop is the ultimate redneck store. “Rednecks just can't afford anything from there except maybe a BPS tee shirt.”
Well, I had to look up Bass and find out what they sell. I went to basspro.com and found they sell all things outdoorsy including fishing, hunting, and camping gear. In addition you can buy gourmet food, clothes, shoes and boots and books. I took a peek at the gifts and novelties page and found, in addition to the t-shirts, some inexpensive things like bottle and can coolies priced as low as $2.99. The Bobble Head Deer might get a chuckle out of your hunters. The deer rubs his antlers on a tree and it bobbles in the rear window. For considerable more money a set of antlers that attach to the front of the truck might be nice for the unlucky hunter who didn’t bag his own. A deer antler pen will set you back $69.95. The Nascar Driver Jimmie Johnson #48 Tailgater Hitch Cover and Bottle Opener, retail price $42.95, is my personal favorite.
Rednecks Cooking Outdoors
I Might be a Redneck. . .
For the female redneck, or lady recently married to a redneck (she might not have know what she was getting into) a wild game cookbook will be a good gift. Anything to do with cooking outdoors, especially pork, will be a welcome gift for male and female rednecks. Sauces, marinades, and spice blends. Bass Pro has a wide selection of foods, snacks and preparation mixes including nuts, smoked meats, freeze dried foods for the hunter or camper, and jerky.
If you are trying to point out the fact that you think someone is a redneck, any of the Jeff Foxworthy or Larry the Cable guy DVDs, CDs and books will send the message. Deborah instructs that books or videos about farting or any device that makes a farting noise will always get a laugh from a true redneck. Rednecks like country music and Lynyrd Skynrd (but true rednecks already have all of the Lynyrd Skynyrd albums.)
I think Deborah might have stolen some of these lines, but she says Nascar is the official redneck church cause rednecks always pray at the races. She has been to plenty of races, so she might know what she’s talking about! Go to store.nascar.com to order a wide variety of Nascar gifts and clothing.
She also tells me Bud Beer is the official redneck beverage. You are in luck here, too, because https://www.amazon.com/Budweiser/pages/3151268011 has all things Bud, including Christmas ornaments, coolers, clothing, beer steins, and cooking sauces to name a few.
I think this will get you started. My research has brought me to the conclusion that I might be a redneck, ‘cause I saw a lot of things in Bass Pro, Budshop and Nascar I’d like to have for Christmas!