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Girls Growing up without a Mother - Mothers Without Mothers
Want to talk to other women who are going through life without the support of a mother?
Do I have a mum?
Many people take mothers for granted. Mum is the one who's there to help you tie your shoes, brush your hair, get ready for school, learn about make-up and help you prepare for your first date.
Later mum is the one who helps you plan your wedding and helps you through the fears of your first pregnancy and then the labour pains while your husband turns pale and swears he'll never make you do that again.
Some girls lose their mother when they are young to illness, a tragic accident or something unexplained. They can remember their mother, or at least smile at a photo of her and wipe a tear away.
But what about the girls, teenagers and women who don't have the chance to have a mother there but don't get the chance to mourn her, either?
What about the women stuck in limbo because their mother has decided that she doesn't want to be a mother?
When your Mum doesn't want you.
So why are there girls who have lived and grown up with their fathers with little or no contact with their mothers? Well for a start, here are some reasons:
- Another man.
- Mental Illness.
- Not wanting to have kids.
So how does this impact on a female?
Mothers are there for so many important parts of a girl's life. But when they aren't there, or are only there part time it can make a girl or woman feel:
- That they did something to make the mother leave.
- Jealous of other girls.
And a major one?
Torn - knowing they want an older female role model but also knowing that their mother can never take that role.
No matter what...
...there's no replacement for a real mum. No step mum, de facto mum, grandma or aunt can fill the role, no matter how much they try or how well meaning they are.
Having a mother who doesn't care about you or you know just isn't good for your emotional stability can be hard. I know, I've been there.
I haven't found a solution yet. However, I do know one thing - it will make you stronger.
Choosing to eliminate your mother from your life...
My mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was just two and a half years old. Throughout my childhood and teenagerhood she had multiple breakdowns and said and did some terrible things.
I realized as I grew older that no matter how much I craved a mother figure in my life, my mum was not the person to take that place.
It may be hard but sometimes you have to realize that enough broken promises means you should end the relationship.
*Photo by 31910792@N05