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Left-Handed Revolution

Updated on May 30, 2018
Billie Kelpin profile image

No matter where I am, "on the road again" is where I want to be - just 'me and Mike and a dog named Scooter'. How I love being a free woman!

How do I get a holiday printed on the calendar? Do I start in Washington, DC? Wait, maybe that's not such a good idea. (I don’t know if we’ll be able to get bi-partisan support for something that has the word “left” in it). Besides, there actually already IS a day set aside to honor my people and me - International Left-Handers’ Day, August 13 - but I haven't seen it on any of the calendars at Barnes and Noble or even at the Ninety-Nine Cents store! I just recently found out about this international day of celebration, but let me tell you it wasn't an easy search, not even with google on my side. My people are quite humble, stoic, resigned, and perhaps even a bit shy about their identity. But I'm resigned no longer because I have arrived. It was a journey of some 66 years, but I'm finally here, ready to take my place alongside my brothers and sisters in handedness (when I can organize them), raise my clenched left fist, and begin shouting, "Power to the Left. Power to the Left. Power to the Left (HANDERS) that is. Power to all Left Handed People Everywhere! Power to the Adaptors of the World!” Call Hallmark and tell them to get it on their calendars. We’ll march 60’s style. We'll protest; we’ll picket: “Hell no, we won't go until you print that now!“

I don't know why it's taken me so long to speak out. I don't really know where I've been all these years - busy I suppose - busy trying to turn door knobs clockwise with my left hand - busy trying to peel potatoes with peelers whose blade is angled for right handers - busy trying to re-arrange whatever space I'm sharing with right-handed family, friends, or co-workers who unknowingly re-arrange my rearrangements. (No one can ever find the salt and pepper shakers in our house. They move back and forth in the cupboard depending on whether I put put them back or they're left in the hands of my right-handed husband.

But I remain silent about my handedness no longer.

I'm not sure what brought me here. It could be aging. It seems that around 40 or 50 you start doing things you've never done before -little things - like wearing barrettes for example. Around my 50th birthday or so, I decided to start wearing my hair longe r than it had ever been before to distract people from the fact that it was becoming thinner than it had ever been before. And, of course, with long hair comes the necessity of barrettes - especially if the hair in question is the wild, course, and frizzy Rozanne Rozannadana type that looks like some giant sized SOS or Brillo pad that's been glued onto your head. You need to get that arrangement under control. So at 50 I started buying barrettes, fancy ones, cute ones, all kinds of barrettes. My favorite barrette was one I purchased from the International Bazaar at the MN state fair, doncha' know. This barrette was special. It was decorated with 5 3/4" Guatemalan worry dolls in tiny traditional woven costumes hand sewn together probably by someone with tiny traditional fingers and deftly glued onto the outer clip of the barrette. Sweet. All that summer I wore my hair in that barrette until one morning I looked in the mirror - the hand mirror that showed the back view of my hairdo. It was then I understood why I was experiencing a high volume of snickers from people I passed by. No, they weren't making fun of the thinning gray at top my head, they were laughing at the Guatemalan girls standing upside down as in the back of my head.

Ah... So.... barrettes are right handed. Who knew? If you put one in your hair from the left side, it's upside down!!!!!!!! Grist for the mill that grinds one into a Revolutionary.

Stay tuned for my next essay which maps out my plan for Revolution. Meanwhile. to all my left-handed friends, keep thinking: "Power to the Left. Power to the Left. Power to the Left (HANDERS) that is."

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    • Billie Kelpin profile imageAUTHOR

      Billie Kelpin 

      3 years ago from Newport Beach

      Hey, Peachpurple, thanks for your comment! Lots of left-handed celebrities. Cheers from Billie

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 

      3 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      left handed people are as great as right hnded too

    • Billie Kelpin profile imageAUTHOR

      Billie Kelpin 

      3 years ago from Newport Beach

      Aline, I couldn't agree more!

    • profile image

      Aline 

      3 years ago

      You may well find that left-handed people are more prone to aeitdcncs simply because much equipment is designed for people whose dominant hand is their right. Thus, there may be no difference in the clumsiness between lefties and righties, and instead it is merely a manifestation of the discrimination us lefties face on a daily basis!

    • Billie Kelpin profile imageAUTHOR

      Billie Kelpin 

      4 years ago from Newport Beach

      Peeples, Hey, thanks so much. I have a free narrated ebook for my hubpage peeps and readers of this hub. It's on a hidden place on the website of "Lucky, the Left Pawed Puppy". I don't know the age of your youngest, but the book is geared toward 5-8 year olds. My daughter and her boyfriend narrated it and my husband's son did the sound engineering. I wrote it to empower little left-handers and to help help their children embrace their dominant side. www.windmillworks.com/lucky/id15.html If you'd like to review it, I sure could use a nice review from an amazing writer like yourself on Amazon. (The kindle version doesn't have audio though, but the Kindle version is one I can sell easier.) There's a longer audio version of this article at podiobooks if you're interested. It really should be CUT, CUT, CUT, but the part about Oprah might be fun to hear. Go down to # 10, "The Fight for Molly Dooker Day" http://podiobooks.com/title/live-from-milwaukee-it...

    • peeples profile image

      Peeples 

      4 years ago from South Carolina

      Loved this. My youngest child is very left handed and I wonder sometimes if I need to do anything special for her. It must be weird having to use things that are obviously not meant for lefties. Fun read!

    • Billie Kelpin profile imageAUTHOR

      Billie Kelpin 

      4 years ago from Newport Beach

      TXSasquatch. Thank you so much - It means a lot!

    • profile image

      TXSasquatch 

      4 years ago

      LOL! Love your sense of humor!

    • Billie Kelpin profile imageAUTHOR

      Billie Kelpin 

      4 years ago from Newport Beach

      Ha! They have left-handed ladles and left-handed garden tools. I recently bought a left-handed corkscrew! I LOVE it! The best part is handing a bottle of wine to a right-handed guest and watching them! (We need a LITTLE equalization in our backwards world).

    • profile image

      TXSasquatch 

      4 years ago

      Good stuff! I'll send the link to my wife. She's wrong-handed, too! ;-)

    • Billie Kelpin profile imageAUTHOR

      Billie Kelpin 

      5 years ago from Newport Beach

      Lisa, I hear you about the right handed debit/credit card swiper machine. I have to practically stand on my head to write my name or use all the upper body strength I have to move it! Again, I do love the uniqueness!

    • Lisa HW profile image

      Lisa HW 

      5 years ago from Massachusetts

      I'm mixed handed, depending on the task; but I'm all left-handed when it comes to writing. My most frequent "issue" these days (and for the last couple/few decades) is the debit-/credit- card "swiper machine" in stores, when it's time to punch in the pin number. My right hand doesn't do well with "dialing" a phone or those machines; and they have those hoods over them for privacy, which makes it even more awkward. So, I either do a "weak" (and high-risk of mistake) effort with my right hand, or else do a very, very, weird and awkward "deal" by reaching over and contorting my left hand (also a high-risk of error maneuver). And THIS is from someone who is only left-handed on some tasks! BUT, as the only one in my childhood family, and later the only one among my husband and three kids, who is left-handed; I kind of like my "uniqueness" among them all.

    • William Gerace profile image

      William Gerace 

      6 years ago from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

      So you worked with the deaf and Hard of hearing students. Thanks for the great comment. I will definitely try the mouse trick. I do get backaches cause I work from home doing this and my call center job. Talk to you again soon. Have a great day. Oh by the way you can call me Bill ok? Thanks lol. Sorry to be rude.

    • Billie Pagliolo profile image

      Billie Pagliolo 

      6 years ago from Laguna Hills, California

      William, thank you. I wrote "Lucky, the Left-Pawed Puppy" ebook empower little left-handers and to encourage parents to help children with their dominant side. I play tennis right handed, eat right-handed, bowl right-handed. I wonder what would have happened if I had known to switch to my left hand for these tasks. Btw, do you slant your paper the opposite way of right handers when you write? And, if you don't have your mouse switched to be left-handed, try it. It will be hard to get used to, but it will help if you have any backaches. You might like to listen to the whole version of "The Fight for Molly Dooker Day" as a podcast at http://www.podiobooks.com/title/live-from-milwauke... (It's free - don't pay another - no one does)It's way too long right now, but you might enjoy it in your free time. (I was in special ed too - deaf and hard of hearing). Yay team!

    • William Gerace profile image

      William Gerace 

      6 years ago from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

      Great Hub. I am a left hander and have been cursed with bad handwriting which I was told in school was because of my left handedness whether this is true or not. I thought your hub was funny, as well as interesting. I didn't even know of the annual left handers day I will definitely celebrate this year.

    • susannah42 profile image

      susannah42 

      6 years ago from Florida

      This is great. I am a left hander andwill definately celebrate.

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