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Planning a Wedding? Set Parameters or Else!
The Wedding Hosts Must Set Limits!
Weddings are expensive. Even in this day and age of economic uncertainty, the average cost is still around $30,000.
That's a lot of money to spend on a four- or five-hour party. For that reason, if you're hosting a wedding, you must set parameters to protect your investment--and more.
Many hard feelings have been caused by families who do not set the rules from the beginning. So if you're hosting a wedding, it's critical that you do so!
Hosting A Wedding? Here's the Rules...
If you're the hosts of the wedding, you know your budget and how many guests you can afford to invite.
If you have decided to invite 100 guests then you must assign the number of invitations each family is to receive, or the number of guests each family can invite, including the bride and groom. (Most people come in couples. 100 guests = 50 invitations.)
1. The parents of the bride are hosting: They keep 25 invitations for themselves; and extend 15 invitations to the groom's family; and 10 invitations to the bride and groom.
2. The families jointly are hosting the wedding: The bride's family and the groom's family each receive 20 invitations; the bride and groom 10 invitations.
3. The bride and groom are hosting: The bride and groom keep 20 invitations for themselves; and extend 10 invitations, each, to their respective families.
Where Wedding Hosts Get In Trouble...
The problems start when the hosts ask for a family's list, etc. without setting parameters!
Remember that the "guest" budget in this example is 100 guests:
1. Parents of the bride are hosting: They ask for the groom's family's list and it comes back with 200 guests; the bride and groom have 100.
2. The families jointly are hosting: And the bride and groom come back with 150 people on their list.
3. The bride and groom are hosting: And their families come back with outrageous lists!
So how do you nip this problem in the bud?
Wedding Hosts: Set the Rules, Upfront!
No matter who is hosting the wedding, the parameters must be set from the beginning. There must be a joint meeting of all involved, including the bride's and groom's respective families and the bride and groom.
At this meeting, the parameters are set by the hosts of the wedding. For example: "We have a total 50 invitations and since we are jointly splitting the cost of the wedding, then each of our families will extend 20 invitations to our respective families and friends. And Sue (bride) and Bob (groom), you will have 10 invitations to extend to your friends, etc."
NOTE: Any family member or the bride and groom who not agree to these terms, will be told that they will pay for any additional guests that they invite including: food, liquor, invitations and centerpieces, if applicable. This usually nips the problem in the bud!