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How I Learned to Love my mother

Updated on May 8, 2016
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Ms.Marcus is a teacher and aspiring writer! She values positivity and family. One of her passions is empowering people to reach higher!

How I Learned to Love my mother

Mother’s Day is a special day reserved for the amazing women in our lives who have raised, nurtured, and cared for us from the moment we began our existence in this world. For those of us who are blessed with a positive experience and agreeable relationship with a great woman, it’s a day of breakfasts in bed, beautiful flowers, carefully selected chocolates, fun time together, and heartfelt “I love yous.” On this day, most of us set aside all conflicts, disagreements, and erase from memory all the metaphorical battle of the past, and all the in-the-moment heated verbal exchanges we have had with this woman. We take a moment to reflect.

As I reflect, I have learned that there is something very special about loving my mother for all that she has done for me. After all- she took care of my need and expressed love selflessly even when I did not know who I was. Her love has been unconditional- and so it makes sense that I express my thanks and gratitude for her active role in my life.

In a way, Mothers Day, like most nationally sanctioned special days, has been made to be an automatic expression of sorts. We quickly update facebook timelines and social media fees to say Happy Mothers Day and express how much we love and appreciate the great woman or women in our lives. And what is interesting is sometimes, the very woman we speak about in such positive light does not hear those things from us in real life. And often time, we do not even feel the things we express so poetically on our social media.

On my search for authenticity, I come to realize that there is one thing more brilliant than loving a mother for being a mother. It is loving her truly and deeply for being exactly who she is- through flaws and all, mistakes and successes, agreements and disagreements.

At some point during my reflections through the years, I realized that I loved my mother with a 5 year-old heart and mind; where she was my everything because she gave me everything. Where I felt hurt by things she would do because of some old wounds from yesterday.

Today, as I slowly approach middle age, I understand that she is much more than that. My mother is much more than an external entity who has been around forever. She is her own person; she is more than anything my 5-year-old mind could have ever imagined her to be. I love her more today than I ever did because I have learned to love her for who she is as a person.

What one word describes your mother?

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This is how I learned to love my mother:

This is how I learned to love my mother:

1) I let go of the past and stopped holding her past against her.

2) I realized deeply that my mother was doing the best she could – apparently parenting doesn’t come with a Sure-Success-How-To-Manual

3) I listened to her story and grew to understand each chapter

4) I voiced my lifelong resentments (even as insignificant as they were) towards her in a clear, concise, and positive way.

5) I let go and found freedom in forgiveness

6) I opened up and allowed her into my life and shared with her without hesitation

7) I allowed her to share and love me in her way- the way that she does without expectation

8) I accepted my mother just as she is and loved her because she is!

Happy mother’s day to all of you amazing mothers and mothers to be. We love you!

Together we learn… together we glow.

*MsMarcus

My Mother

Who sat and watched my infant head
When sleeping on my cradle bed,
And tears of sweet affection shed?
My Mother.


When pain and sickness made me cry,
Who gazed upon my heavy eye,
And wept for fear that I should die?
My Mother.

Who taught my infant lips to pray
And love God’s holy book and day,
And walk in wisdom’s pleasant way?
My Mother.

And can I ever cease to be
Affectionate and kind to thee,
Who wast so very kind to me,
My Mother?

Ah, no! the thought I cannot bear,
And if God please my life to spare
I hope I shall reward they care,
My Mother.

When thou art feeble, old and grey,
My healthy arm shall be thy stay,
And I will soothe thy pains away,
My Mother.

Ann Taylor

Because you loved me!

© 2016 MsMarcus

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