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How to Be Someone's Secret Admirer on Valentine's Day

Updated on January 5, 2020
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Laura believes holidays and events should be celebrated whether you are alone or with family & friends. Celebrate yourself & being alive.


Could you... Should you... Be a Secret Admirer?

You might want to be a secret admirer because you like someone or you might do it to perk up someone who has been alone awhile or feels left out. Be careful, either way. It's fun to have the mystery of a secret admirer but it can backfire. If you are sincerely liking someone, make sure the person you admire is worth the admiration. If you are trying to make someone else feel admired be sure they wont feel even worse if they find out the admirer was not really a romantic admirer.

Tips and Ideas for Secret Admirers

Pay attention to the stationary you write on. Pick out something nice from the store or... go to a hotel and ask if you can have a couple of pages and an envelope. You can send your letter on hotel letterhead and add to the mystery.

Penmanship counts. Write carefully, take the time to make your writing clear and easy to read - add a romantic embellishment if you can. If you print the letter choose a font with some curls and swirls, whatever seems kind of romantic to you.

Induce a few lines of poetry or write something yourself. You could note down the lyrics from a romantic song if you aren't interested in poetry.

Draw a heart somewhere on the envelope at the least. If you have some drawing ability create a romantic design, something individual and one of a kind which will be special for the letter you send. It's nice to have something you created yourself rather than the store bought card art and design.

The greeting should be personal, not impersonal. Direct your note to the person, by name. Don't try to be mysterious when it comes to who you are writing to.

Don't give yourself away. Keep your name and any details which could identify you out of the letter. As fun as it is to write a mystery letter, it's just as fun to get one and have that mystery - at least for the day.

Begin in a complimentary way. Don't start by telling them you thought they seemed lonely or you like fat girls/ guys or anything else even slightly negative or critical. Write about why you picked them to admire, secretly but be positive to make them feel admired. This also makes you seem far more sincere too.

While writing the letter itself, be specific. Don't become timid now and write about pretty eyes. Describe the eyes - the eye colour, the way they crinkle when he/she laughs. Write about where you have seen them and what they were doing, not in a stalker way. Describe and be specific about what you liked, what draws you to them. Why are you attracted and what do you admire about them?

Overall, keep the letter short. Don't start selling yourself and trying to make a romance in just one letter. A simple letter will keep you from getting into trouble by saying too much or taking it too far.

Most of all, when you write as a secret admirer your letter should not be about yourself. Make it a feel-good type of letter for the person you address it to. Avoid mentioning yourself or your interests so you can keep the mystery of the mysterious, unknown, secret admirer.

Sign the letter with flourish, a nom de plume. Create a made up name for yourself, something not a real name but something dramatic, mysterious and/ or romantic.

Think of something you can include, a small gift that fits in an envelope. Stickers are simple but not something everyone would care for. Think about things which can be mailed like a coupon for a store or a gift card giving a free hot chocolate, something like that would be pretty perfect.

Deliver the Valentine in a unique way. But make sure it isn't lost, overlooked or ends up damaged like falling into a pile of snow when it blows off the door you taped it to.


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