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How to Honor a Deceased Mom on Mother's Day

Updated on May 12, 2013
One of the ways we try to honor my deceased Mother is to bring her favorite breakfast to the cemetery.
One of the ways we try to honor my deceased Mother is to bring her favorite breakfast to the cemetery. | Source
This was our family, as drawn by my child in preschool: my mother (black hair), me (brown hair), my then 3 year old.
This was our family, as drawn by my child in preschool: my mother (black hair), me (brown hair), my then 3 year old. | Source

Losing Your Mom

I lost my mother two years ago, on May 12th. While I have the knowledge that I did everything in my power to help her once she became sick (my then 7 year old daughter and I kept her infection-free and at home for the better part of a year), it is a dubious consolation at best. I still pay for the family cell phone plan and haven't changed the outgoing message on her number. Every once in a while I call and listen to her voicemail message, just to hear her voice again - even for 30 seconds. We celebrated the last Mother's Day, which fell four days before she passed away, in the hospital, but it felt almost like old times. She was allowed to eat again so I and friends brought her favorite delicacies, like tiramisu and endless cappuccino. I also smuggled in the bottle of vin santo that was still at her apartment, and my Mom and I shared it with my cousin, who is like a sister to me. I was fine last year, accepting of the fact that my Mom had passed but was still in our hearts, minds, and in the habits and stories she had left in her children and in ours. This year, however, two years on, has been the hardest. The depression has finally hit. But there are ways to cope and I offer some of my ideas here to all those who have lost their Moms.

Take It to the Gravesite

This may be an Italian thing, but we simply do not get the heebie-jeebies from going to the cemetery. Daily or weekly cemetery visits are still a fact of life for small town Italians. We also always talk about our dead, telling (and re-telling) their stories. I have noticed that some American families (some elements of my family have also adopted this tendency) tend not to do this, tend to try not to recall their dead, so that they do not have to feel the pain of the loss. But I think it is healthy to acknowledge any pain or sorrow we, the living, might still feel, as well as to try to remember the funny or glad anecdotes. So, celebrate Mother's Day, including your deceased Mom, or Grandmother, Aunt, etc., by taking their favorite breakfast (and/or your favorite) to the cemetery, sitting down by their grave (if they have one) or near where their ashes were scattered, if that is the case, and having a picnic. Talk to their spirit and to the living family members that come to celebrate with you.

Honor Your Deceased Mom with Original Poetry

My daughter wrote this quick acrostic poem for my Mom on the last Mother's Day we all celebrated together.
My daughter wrote this quick acrostic poem for my Mom on the last Mother's Day we all celebrated together. | Source

How to Write an Acrostic Poem

An acrostic poem takes a topic word (like Nonna, which means "grandmother" in Italian, in my example above) and uses each letter in it as the first letter of each line of the poem. Every line of the poem should describe, define, or somehow relate to the topic word.

How to Write a Bio-Poem

A bio-poem is a biographical poem. It has ten (10) lines. The first line is the first name of the person that the poem is about. The last line is the last name. The rest of the structure is as follows:

line 2: three or four adjectives that describe the person the poem is about

line 3: an important relationship (mother of..., daughter of...., etc.)

line 4: two or three things, ideas, or people that the person loved

line 5: three deep feelings the person experienced

line 6: three fears the person experienced

line 7: accomplishments

line 8: two or three things the person wanted to see happen or wanted to experience

line 9: the person's residence

Comments

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  • profile image

    Kenneth Avery 3 years ago

    Hi, everymom,

    You are welcome as can be. I meant every word. My hubs vary from humorous to abstract/prose poetry, but all are without profanity or disrespectful text toward women and our country. My mission is to make my followers smile, even for a moment, for in THAT moment, the problem they are thinking about, becomes less burdensome and less mentally taxing.

    Thank you so much for the following. God bless you.

  • everymom profile image
    Author

    Anahi Pari-di-Monriva 3 years ago from Massachusetts

    Thank you so very much for your kind words Kenneth. Like your mom, my dad passed away on August 10th, but in 2000. I am looking forward to reading your hubs and following you, too!

  • kenneth avery profile image

    Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

    Hello everymom,

    This is an excellent piece of writing. Amazing in every aspect of writing.

    I loved every word--and the lay-out was superb.

    My mom passed Aug. 10, 2010, and this gave me some great ideas.

    Voted up and all the choices because you deserve it.

    You have such a gift for writing. Just keep writing and good things are bound to happen to you.

    I cordially invite you to read one or two of my hubs, and be one of my followers.

    That would make my day.

    I am so honored to meet you.

    Sincerely,

    Kenneth Avery, Hamilton, Alabama

  • btrbell profile image

    Randi Benlulu 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

    I just came upon this. What beautiful ways to cherish your mom's memory! And, how beautiful your daughter is! I hope you are doing well, Anahi. I have missed you here.