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How to Honor a Deceased Mom on Mother's Day
Losing Your Mom
I lost my mother two years ago, on May 12th. While I have the knowledge that I did everything in my power to help her once she became sick (my then 7 year old daughter and I kept her infection-free and at home for the better part of a year), it is a dubious consolation at best. I still pay for the family cell phone plan and haven't changed the outgoing message on her number. Every once in a while I call and listen to her voicemail message, just to hear her voice again - even for 30 seconds. We celebrated the last Mother's Day, which fell four days before she passed away, in the hospital, but it felt almost like old times. She was allowed to eat again so I and friends brought her favorite delicacies, like tiramisu and endless cappuccino. I also smuggled in the bottle of vin santo that was still at her apartment, and my Mom and I shared it with my cousin, who is like a sister to me. I was fine last year, accepting of the fact that my Mom had passed but was still in our hearts, minds, and in the habits and stories she had left in her children and in ours. This year, however, two years on, has been the hardest. The depression has finally hit. But there are ways to cope and I offer some of my ideas here to all those who have lost their Moms.
Take It to the Gravesite
This may be an Italian thing, but we simply do not get the heebie-jeebies from going to the cemetery. Daily or weekly cemetery visits are still a fact of life for small town Italians. We also always talk about our dead, telling (and re-telling) their stories. I have noticed that some American families (some elements of my family have also adopted this tendency) tend not to do this, tend to try not to recall their dead, so that they do not have to feel the pain of the loss. But I think it is healthy to acknowledge any pain or sorrow we, the living, might still feel, as well as to try to remember the funny or glad anecdotes. So, celebrate Mother's Day, including your deceased Mom, or Grandmother, Aunt, etc., by taking their favorite breakfast (and/or your favorite) to the cemetery, sitting down by their grave (if they have one) or near where their ashes were scattered, if that is the case, and having a picnic. Talk to their spirit and to the living family members that come to celebrate with you.
Honor Your Deceased Mom with Original Poetry
How to Write an Acrostic Poem
An acrostic poem takes a topic word (like Nonna, which means "grandmother" in Italian, in my example above) and uses each letter in it as the first letter of each line of the poem. Every line of the poem should describe, define, or somehow relate to the topic word.
How to Write a Bio-Poem
A bio-poem is a biographical poem. It has ten (10) lines. The first line is the first name of the person that the poem is about. The last line is the last name. The rest of the structure is as follows:
line 2: three or four adjectives that describe the person the poem is about
line 3: an important relationship (mother of..., daughter of...., etc.)
line 4: two or three things, ideas, or people that the person loved
line 5: three deep feelings the person experienced
line 6: three fears the person experienced
line 7: accomplishments
line 8: two or three things the person wanted to see happen or wanted to experience
line 9: the person's residence