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How to Plan an Unbirthday Party for a Friend

Updated on June 19, 2013
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Laura believes holidays and events should be celebrated whether you are alone or with family & friends. Celebrate yourself & being alive.


The idea of the Unbirthday comes from Lewis Carroll in the Alice and Wonderland story. Any day, other than your real birthday, can be your unbirthday. So any day of the year can be a reason to celebrate you, or create an unbirthday party for a friend.

Of course, for an unbirthday you are not getting a year older, so that's a nice perk worth celebrating all on it's own.

An unbirthday is not a traditional event so you can make up the 'rules' as you go along. There really are no rules. Have a party, or don't have a party. Blow out candles on a cake, or don't even have a cake. Bring presents or buy something nice just for yourself, from yourself. Do what you really would like to do.

If you want to host an unbirthday party for a friend - consider a tea party in honour of Alice in Wonderland. However, there are no rules, so your tea could become cocktails/ mocktails, hot chocolate, or melted ice cream if that's what your friend would really like for her unbirthday.


A Very Merry Unbirthday to You

If your friend has a summer birthday plan some winter activities and events which she would never likely get to do for a warm weather birthday. Same for a friend who is usually walking through snow for her birthday. Get some summer ideas and have a summery, warm weather unbirthday party.

If you have guests to the unbirthday party, make sure they understand the idea of an unbirthday and are not going to be belittling the event or being snarky about an unbirthday just being an excuse for a party and presents. Someone like that will just spoil the event for everyone, especially you as the host and your friend, as the guest of honour.

Invite friends from work, invite family and invite friends you know of and try to track down a few friends you haven't heard from in awhile or haven't met yet (friends of your unbirthday friend).If you want to make the unbirthday a surprise you need to get sneaky with the invitations. Email can help you with that. But, it is nice to send out old fashioned paper invitations in the mail. Plus you can make them as fancy or silly as you choose.

If the unbirthday party is to be a non-gift event, make that clear. If not, give everyone a small spending budget. I would keep the presents and gifts as part of the event. But, I'd make a budget of $10 per gift. It's not so hard to find something nice for a small amount of cash. It gives people a chance to think creatively or those with a tight budget can still bring a gift and not feel they were being cheap about it.

Will you Have a Mad Tea Party?

The mad tea party gives you the fun of being creative and silly too. It also brings in girlie things, romantic and pretty things too.

Think about unmatched, romantic tea cups. Look at thrift stores to get them pretty cheap. Or, have your guests each bring their own. You could even have everyone bring a mismatched tea cup and saucer and then leave them for the unbirthday guest of honour as her gift. Now that she (or he) has all the teacups the next unbirthday can be hosted by her. It's a way to keep the celebration going.

Everyone can dress up, either something with floral patterns and pink, romantic and pretty colours, a Victorian theme. Or, everyone can dress as odd characters, someone Alice might have met on her wanderings through Wonderland. Or, try a steampunk theme if enough of your guests will know what steampunk is. If you have the party in a public place you might not get too far into dressing up. Not every guest will be comfortable being a little silly in public.

Food for the party should be at least a little adventurous Think mad tea sandwiches. Try unusual combinations of ingredients between slices of bread, or crackers or something less expected and more unusual. Serve cookies cut into shapes and decorated in mad colours like deep purple, neon green or burnt orange - colours not part of any holiday usually.

Don't forget decorations. You can come up with anything - depending on the party theme you decide on. If not the mad tea party you might be out there in the snow and your decorations could all be ice, snow and winter things. You might go with a hippie theme party or the steampunk or the more romantic and pretty Victorian, or a party at the beach and decorate with driftwood, seashells and serve a BBQ in the sand.

Don't forget an unbirthday isn't about getting another year older, it's celebrating what you have and the great things currently in your life or the life of your friend you are giving the party for.

Celebrate the day!



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    • WiccanSage profile image

      Mackenzie Sage Wright 

      4 years ago

      This is great, I enjoyed this so much. I just 'met' Alice & the Mad Hatter at Disney at a breakfast at Disneyworld a couple weeks ago... highlight of the trip for me :-). This looks fun.


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