ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Wish Your Zombie A Happy Valentine’s Day

Updated on February 10, 2015
Source

When you care enough to send the very worst.

If one of your loved ones has been overrun by the Zombie Apocalypse, you could let him know that you care by sending him the severed head of a dead zombie. But first you would have to find a zombie. And then there is the problem that not every zombie will stand still for a good head severing. And to make matters worse, there is no guarantee that severing the head will kill the head. You can find any number of zombie movies wherein the head still moves about or even talks without a body.

Source

I Heart Zombies

Not everyone is enthralled by the Walking Dead Series but why not show your significant other that you “get the joke”.

Given that your intended has at least a mild infatuation with shambling corpses let him know that it’s okay.


Zombie Love

What's the best way to show zombies you really care

See results

I Eat Zombies for Dinner

For the progressive zombie hunter: Show that you know he has conquered his fears, his revulsion, and the infectious nature of zombie flesh by chowing down on zombie burgers!

I’d Eat Your Brain All Over Again

If you are the Walking Dead Zombie lover, scare the hell out of your significant other by pretending to be a zombie and giving her T-Shirt that says: You’d eat her brain all over again. And again.

Zombie Sauce: Don’t eat brainz without it

There are any number of really hot, hot sauces out there. Some sauces contain barely sub-lethal amounts of habanero peppers and are suspected to be of unholy origins. Given that zombies take their food raw it would be the neighborly thing to offer them something to spice up their meals.

Zombie Chow

Don’t let your loved one face the foul armies of the living dead alone? Am I suggesting that you go with him to confront those hellish hordes? Not only no but hell no! Rather I believe you should increase the probability for survival of your truest love. At least until he makes you the beneficiary of a million dollar insurance policy.

Now where were we? One of the things a good zombie fighter can always use is something to distract the zombies. May I suggest you buy your Valentine’s Day lover a bag of Zoorina Zombie Chow. They say it tastes like real humans. It’s fortified with Justin Bieber fans, ISIS fighters, Taliban fighters, Al Qaeda fighters and other subhuman misanthropes. Zoorina Zombie chow is also sprinkled with the dewy goodness of simulated hormones and enzymes that will drive zombies wild. Zombies will be so entranced with zombie chow that they will leave your lover alone. Accept no substitutes. Buy genuine Zoorina Zombie chow: Zombie tested, cannibal approved. "Tastes like real people."

Ain't Nothing Funny About Loving the Dead

Just to show the doubters and haters that loving the dead is not as rare as you think there was a news story out that the fiancé of the infamous Charles Manson wanted him for his corpse. Oh ye of little faith, Google it if you don't believe it.

It’s Always Halloween Somewhere

There are any number of observances to commemorate people, places and things that are no longer among us. There is the Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos), Famadihana (Turning of the Bones),The Hungry Ghost Festival, All Saints Day, All Souls Day, Halloween, Bon or Obon Festival, Chuseok, Gaijatra, Qingming Festival, Pitru Paksha, and Lemuralia. So the information given herein can do double duty!

Looking for Zombies

If you don’t see the dead things you are looking for in the Zazzle module below, change the drop down in the center of the page from "popular" to newest, and then remove all search words from the box on the upper left hand corner of the page. Then press enter. It has to be done in that order to refresh what you are looking at.


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Romanian profile image

      Nicu 2 years ago from Oradea, Romania

      I love the feeling, when I kill a zombie with a bullet in his brain, in every video game. Nice article!

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 2 years ago

      Romanian, zombies love you too. Especially your brain!

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Some great images, not so sure about the zombies, I am having trouble finding one:)

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 2 years ago

      Sally, it has often been observed that you can never find a good zombie when you need one.

    • girlfriendfactory profile image

      girlfriendfactory 2 years ago

      I guard my brain with a chainsaw and cardio exercise! LOL

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 2 years ago

      Hello Ren of the GirlfriendFactory. I will bet with all that cardio you could give the zombies a run for their money!

    • girlfriendfactory profile image

      girlfriendfactory 2 years ago

      Gotta follow the rules of Zombieland! LOL

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 2 years ago from North Carolina

      LOL.. this is very funny, creative, and unique. I need to go feed my zombie now..lol.

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 2 years ago

      Tammy I am sure that your zombie appreciates all that you do for him. He would love to show his appreciation some time. Especially for your brain.

    • colorfulone profile image

      Susie Lehto 2 years ago from Minnesota

      I sure do like you images and sense of humor.

      I will try to remember the sauce.

    • poetryman6969 profile image
      Author

      poetryman6969 2 years ago

      Hello Susie. I am glad you like the images. And as for the sauce, I am sure your zombie will than you for it!

    Click to Rate This Article