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I Know, You Didn’t Get To See Everyone You Should Have Seen Over The Holidays

Updated on December 28, 2009


Whether you travel to exotic locations such as I (okay, it’s Delaware but I had to at least try to make it sound thrilling) during the holidays or even stay home, we all share one thing in common. Unless everyone you know in the world comes to your home for the holidays there are going to be people you don’t see during the holidays. Never mind what you’re going to do with that four tea light candle holder you bought for them (which incidentally they’ll never use for anything but to re-gift to someone else) the point is that scheduling can be scary during the holidays and I’m here to tell you that now that they’re over, you shouldn’t feel guilty in the least if you didn’t see everyone you had intended to see, so you didn’t see that person you went to college with or that person you used to work with the point is, the holiday ship has sailed and I know, you didn’t get to see everyone you should have seen over the holidays – Don’t Get Me Started!

It happens to me every year. I travel to spend holidays with my spouse’s family (the great thing about being a gay couple is that we give fabulous gifts, the even better thing is that we’re an interfaith couple so we never have to make a “Sophie’s Choice” over where we spend holidays. Christmas with his family, Passover with mine, it’s freaking perfect). And because we lived for eleven years in the same city as his parents there are plenty of people we should be seeing when we’re there but when you have a week and everyone is busy seeing everyone they should be seeing, scheduling becomes key and what’s even more important is that your flexible enough to realize that most of what you schedule has about as much chance of coming true as people using their turn signals before they cut you off and get in front of you.

I was off one morning to get my coffee from a local coffee shop over the holidays to try and prepare myself for the fact that it was a day before Christmas and I still had much shopping to do let alone getting gift wrap and its trimmings. I was feeling a little overwhelmed with the day’s schedule when I heard a woman on her phone in the parking lot of the coffee place. In a tone that seemed as if it was getting higher and higher in pitch until most likely only dogs could hear her, I listened in, “Well, I wanted to see them too but you know what? If you want to go over to their house and see them without me maybe you should just do that. I don’t see how I’m going to get everything done that I thought I was going to get done. No, don’t try to put that on me, you know I told you last night that today was going to be tight in terms of schedule. I’m not going to allow you to make me crazier than I all ready am at this point. You want to go, go and no, I don’t know what time I’ll be back at the house. And don’t wait for me and then tell me you’ve been waiting for me to go. Look, I’ll go in this store and run that other errand and then I’ll call you, maybe I’ll meet you there but don’t forget about dinner tonight. Yes, that’s right, it’s my friends so there’s no way we’re missing that one. Look, all this time on the phone isn’t helping. Oh whatever, I’ll talk to you later.” And as she pushed the button to end the call she stared at the phone and said, “Fuck you!” I thought, “Wow it’s not just me, everyone is scheduled way too tight and it’s additional stress that none of us need.”

So for those “mountains” who sit on their ass in their home and the people wander in and out, you have the right idea. But for those of us who travel, we’re good and screwed. But here’s the thing, you just have to tell yourself that you’ll do what you can do to see as many people as you can without totally stressing yourself but I know, you didn’t get to see everyone you should have seen over the holidays – Don’t Get Me Started!

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