Ideas for a Church Christmas Play - The Radical Militant Christian Edition
Remember back in the day, when your parents used to take you to Church every Christmas and you'd lovingly watch a traditional Nativity play with Mary and Joseph performed by all the children in the Sunday school class? Remember how cute the little ones looked running around in their angel costumes or wearing fake beards and Three Wise Men garb?
Yeah, well I don't. Church plays and skits are a little different where I come from. Sure, we'd have a Nativity play, but usually it would be squeezed in between other kinds of festivities, especially a morality play or two. And when it wasn't Christmas and nobody was obligated to be optimistic, the plays were fire and brimstone all the way, like Jesus intended, and they sounded more like something straight out of the pages of a Jack Chick tract than the usual pleasant Sunday production most of you might know.
With that moralistic idea in mind, I've come up with some ideas for church Christmas plays that'll even knock the socks off anything we ever used to do when I was a kid.
This could be an aggressive play about how a lot of Christmas tradition is steeped in old Pagan ritual, like the whole tree thing and even the date of Christmas itself. In this story, all the faithful children of the world could set out to dismantle and strip Christmas of any of its Pagan remnants by burning their Christmas trees and calling their parents sinners for falling prey to the Devil's distractions. Then the fraud of Santa Claus will be exposed and children dressed as angels can run him through with holy arrows once and for all in a thrilling climax. (And when Santa Claus dramatically drops his bag of toys and it spills over, it will become clear what was really inside all along: SATAN.)
I don't know how you'll fit that many people on stage, but I'm sure someone can figure it out.
Humbug!: The Play
Speaking of Jack Chick, the kids could adapt a play version of his pamphlet "Humbug!," the one that parodies the story of Ebenezer Scrooge and changes the storyline into one that ends with Scrooge being born again.
In fact, any Chick tract that vaguely has anything to do with Christmas would do. Actually, while your at it, any tract period. Even "Back From the Dead?"--the creepy one about the guy who dies and goes to Hell--would work; just have it take place during Christmastime. Put some lights and evergreens in the background on stage. (Though, granted, it would be hard to recreate the Lake of Fire on a Church budget. Construction paper might work.) Older kids from the youth group can play the demons that gnaw on the main character's arms and legs.
Thou Shalt Not Covet
This will be a play all about the commercial aspects of Christmas and how malls and shopping centers are full of SATAN'S LITTLE HELPERS trying to lure people into filling their empty, unsaved lives with material things in order to feel happy and keep up with the Joneses. Little do they know, as the narrator will explain, that this is a counterfeit happiness and that their empty lives can only be filled with Jesus.
The climax will be when a mall Santa rips off his St. Nicholasian outfit dramatically after learning the truth about Jesus from one of his Elf helpers and becomes saved.
With a title inspired by the shortest verse in the Bible, this play will be a pure guilt trip that will send all the children on the straight and narrow. It will be a play about how all the little boys and girls in a congregation act like brats all year and sin against God, only to start behaving well close to Christmastime to get presents, and how this eventually leads to all of them going to Hell. The play will be focused on how their hypocrisy makes Jesus cry and the Devil happy.
A play like this would be extra effective if the characters were named after actual children in the actual Church congregation where the play is to be performed (and if the Pastor pointed them out afterwards during the closing prayer, just to be extra clear).
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep...With SATAN
This will be a piece about a teenaged girl who, like many girls her age, gets a little too frisky with the mistletoe during Christmas. She'll start off with only an youthful kiss under the offending yuletide plant, but progressively ends up in bed with her new boyfriend, then knocked up with triplets, all because she wouldn't follow God's word.
It's a play about the snowballing effect of tempting lust and about how when young, supple teens sleep with each other out of wedlock, it's really like they're sleeping with Satan, because he's the only one who is ultimately satisfied.
Pick the slu--er, I mean, the most popular girl in the congregation to play the main character.
That's the best I can come up with for now, but if you try any if these Christmas play ideas out, let me know how it turned out. Especially the last one.