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Updated on May 6, 2011


Wedding Days ares meant to be the most happy of events for all, especially of course for the Bride. Usually it turns out well, like the wedding we attended recently, marred by only one thing. That was the excruciating and obvious fear and concern on the face of the Father of the Bride as he stumbled through his wedding speech.

For many, the only time they are called upon to speak in public is on such an occasion and the prospect fills them with horror, completely spoiling the build up and the ceremony in the knowledge that they have soon after to face the assembled company and deliver a speech, which is totally alien to them.

No wonder then, that many a wedding is blighted by the speech problem. I have to tell you there is no single, simple solution for those who are unused to public speaking, but subject to holding on to the nerves and having prepared properly, then it is always possible to carry things off without personal grief and casting a cloud over the day.


Wedding etiquette demands that speeches are delivered by the following:

1. Father of the Bride.


3.Best Man.

These days for reasons not quite clear to me others seem driven to add to the list. I have sat through speeches, in addition to the above from, the Bride herself, Mother of said Bride, Maid of Honour and even an Uncle of the Groom,who, having travelled from way down under was determined to get in his whack!

Now consider, and let us take 8 to 10 minutes as a rule of thumb for time of each. Let us also consider, Guests have had a good Wedding Breakfast, usually with champagne these days and have bottles of wine on their tables.It seems to me that a total of 25/30 minutes clearly suffices for the position people find themselves in. Add 3 other units of time and you are getting on for a whole hour.

An hour is a long time in that situation, unless the content and delivery is top class. It is unlikely that the average wedding will have a full range of top class performers! Thus, make sure you only follow etiquette as regards to the number of speeches and seek to set a friendly time limit to assist both giver and receivers of said speeches.


Golden rule one was to be seen above, but there are key other rules to obey. It is important to match the content of the speech to the fact that the audience represents a broad church and you want to connect with all, not just a mini percentage. A double act of Best Men ruined one wedding we attended by recounting what could only be described as schoolboy lavatory humour culminating with them insisting the poor groom display his buttocks for general inspection.They fully enjoyed ther efforts which went on for the full half hour. The same could not be said for us, the Guests. Tip to groom, think hard about your choice of Best Man!

So, length of speech and content are key golden rules. You will find very useful assistance in dealing with these by clicking the link below. Getting these right is vital, and you will find examples to suit your need.

Even so, remember that whilst what you say is important, HOW,  you say it is vital. You must adopt content to fit you, not the other way round and practice is essential.  What works for me is to write out the speech longhand, then edit it. That done, I write headings in Capitals on palm sized cards numbering them as Igo. There is nothing worse than sitting through a speech reading, unless it is where the unfortunate deliverer stumbles and announces he has lost his place. Agony.

Having written my headings, I then repair to my bedroom and deliver said speech to my mirror. This ensures, I keep my head up and project outwards as opposed to mumbling downwards, so none save the first row can hear. This, I do many times, making adjustments on the way till I am familiar with my content, timing and length of sppech. That way, on the day, only the normal nerves will affect my performance as the other potetial big problems have been eradicated or at least minimised. The link will help you expand things and glean suitable content that you will be able to adjust to fit your own particular circumstance.

Proper, advice and preparation will take the fear from you and enable you to also enjoy the day, knowing that when you finally sit down those around you will share in the pleasure that you feel for the event itself.




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