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My New Year Reflections

Updated on January 22, 2017
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My road to a better me. It was a tough journey. Tougher than any that I have ever been through. I know it isn't over yet.

Introduction

I am reflecting about the last three and a half years of my life. In honor of the new year. Why my personality is the way it is. Why my new connections are the way they are. Why I strongly connect to those that are supportive vs those that are not supportive. Things that I still want to work on, throughout the new year.

Personality Test

If you haven't read my hub titled, "Four Lenses: 4 Temperament Discovery," it is an actual personality test, that I had to help administer to Marines during my internship at New River Air Station in Jacksonville, North Carolina, during the Pre-marital workshops that their commands made service members take before they got married. However, this Four Lenses article is namely about my own results. My results show that I am a blue and green. (Not everyone is two different colors.) Of course, where they are placed on the circle I am in constant conflict with myself. Blue rules my heart, and green rules my brain. Frankly, I, now, feel I am VERY fortunate to be BOTH these and in constant conflict with myself. If I had been just blue, my heart would have ruled my head, and I would have been one of those people that would have died from a broken heart three and a half years ago, like Debbie Reynolds did, after losing her daughter, Carrie Fisher.

I am beginning to think that I live politics in my very soul, always weighing the pros and cons. It seriously feels like I get nowhere, just like, apparently, how people feel about politicians.

And, YES, I am a Gemini. LOL

Relationship

A few days ago, I found out that there is one person that is not supportive of my relationship. She is a job coach at my firm. This is really why I do NOT share my personal life with co-workers. She found out by someone else. I had to find out by a mutual client of ours, which the client was not pleased and felt that it was inappropriate for the coach to voice her opinion. Which my boyfriend and I find that many do not share.

Needless to say, unless someone from my office reads this, which I doubt. However, if they do, you should know that your opinions do not mean anything. It isn't going to change the outcome. If it means that I am going to lose my job than I will gladly leave. (However, for your FYI, this relationship started before I became employed at the firm. It has been discussed with a VR Counselor.) However, just so the record is straight, my boyfriend and I actually met when I was in high school. He went to high school with my brothers. He signed off on no longer being a client at our firm because of YOU, not because of ME. It is embarrassing that your opinion matches your high school intellect. God placed a life in front of me and I'm the one that has to live it. You make your choices, and I will make mine.

No matter how badly your choices get. Like when you scolded me for giving a client a ride home from work after 10 p.m., which was on my way to the highway to drive myself home. (His job developer said something totally opposite from you, btw.) However, at Christmas Luncheon 2015, about three months after the scolding, we found out that not one, but two of your clients walked home from work at night, via I-364 and we read in the paper that one was killed and the other was injured in that walk. Therefore, you continue to make your bad, unsafe choices, and you can stay out of my choices. I can live with my choices. Can you live with yours?

Furthermore, you should talk to your own husband, because my boyfriend was not the reason he was fired. You must remember there are cameras all over that place. The fact that your husband lied to you about still smoking cigarettes while he tried to make you believe he quit smoking, should speak volumes about his integrity. Either way, this new year will most likely bring about a meeting between me, my boyfriend and my boss. If I only have a job up until the wedding date, then so be it. That's a choice that I can live with. While you have a death on your hands. In my eyes, that makes my distant cousin, Justin Bieber, a saint in comparison.

**Sorry for the rant, but in other social work entities, such as Child Welfare or even Food Stamps, if you know the person, it is best to have that client go to someone else at the firm. It doesn't go by organization basis, it goes by individual basis. The client is just given to someone else at the organization. However, not everybody at my firm has a social work degree, so sometimes they do not know how it works at other entities.

**I have also been in some not so good relationships. I'm not going to let a good one go just because he is in the Vocational Rehabilitation database. Someone that I met before he was even put in the database. If someone has a problem with that, then it is their problem that they will have to deal with. Not mine.

Oh well, concentrate on the supportive people, and disregard those that are not. It is the only way to move forward.

Safety on Ice

Living in Missouri, as a working woman, I had to learn driving safely on ice. Which I have done quite well. However, it was pretty bad when MO DOT (Department of Transportation) failed us and did not get salt trucks on the road before our first ice. I was on the road from 3 p.m. until 1 a.m. Just waiting for salt trucks to show up. When they finally let us leave this road to head home, I saw an ambulance in the ditch, a semi truck with no load in the ditch, a train of six cars all together in the ditch, as well as much more. Thankfully, I still made it home. I had to spend all of Sunday after that in bed having been a bundle of complete nerves.

Thankfully, my pregnant sister in law from the Philippines, who does not have the experience of driving on ice made it to my parent's house from work. However, my brother did not make it to our parent's house to pick up his wife and daughter until 6.5 hours after getting off of work. My brother ended up leaving his car here at our parents, and he drove his wife and daughter home in their four wheel drive.

This was a real disaster in mine and my brother's eyes when it comes to Missouri. Especially, since my brother has lived his whole adult life in the State of Missouri. (He was actually the maddest out of the both of us. I had to try and keep my stress level down by singing to the radio in my car. It was that or work myself up to seizure mode. Glad that I was able to spend that Sunday in bed and sleep off the bundle of nerves that I was.)

Next time MO DOT, you need to think ahead. (I guess it pays to be a blue-green on my personality test and a Gemini, because I am still alive.) Will there be lawsuits for anyone that did die on the road that night? Your guess is as good as mine.


Fortunate in my hub readers

I got some great comments from quite a few hubs that I have written. One being Montreal's quest on banning Pit Bulls. This really hit home for me, because I spent much of my childhood visiting Montreal, since I have family there. And, I also own a Lab/Pit Mix. They really are not all bad.

Comment:

When I lived in Montreal most of my friends had Pit Bulls. They were all the nicest, friendliest dogs I have ever met. These dogs are not to blame. It is the owners who should be blamed. Many owners purposely make their dogs vicious thinking that it is a good thing. If they wanted a good watchdog they should get a trained dog for the job. These owners often beat their dogs which makes the dog lose trust in humans making them more likely to attack. The politicians who make the laws need to get some guts and go after the owners. But they are too scared because people can argue back and they are afraid of losing votes. So instead they go after the dogs who can't defend themselves. So I am with you in that this law ticks me off. They should put the blame where the blame should be.

Another great comment on my article, "Normalizing Disabilities with the help of the Famous," which is something I wrote due to what I do for a living. Also, with the fact that I have a disability as well as my boyfriend, and we BOTH are making positive impacts on the disabled world.

Comment:

It is so good to read about people with disabilities making it in the world. My daughter has Autism and reading about other peoples success gives me hope for her future. I struggle with my own mental health, yet articles like this gives me hope to succeed in my life as well.

Another great comment on my article, "Silver Dollar City," after a trip to Branson with my boyfriend and his parents.

Comment:

Great Hub. I wish Fall Festivals were like that here in NJ. I love discovering places like Silver Dollar City. Hidden interesting places unlike everyday tourist traps. Voted up! Great read.

Another great comment on my article, "Attitude: Your most Priceless Possession." Believe me when I say, "I know what it is like to have to change your attitude because of what you are going through in life. It isn't easy to live through stressful situations these days."

Comment:

This was a very informative hub. I agree with your tips on things you can do to stay positive and healthy. Keeping people at arms length or walking away is very important. Negative people in your life can alter you from living your best life. Beautifully written! I look forward to reading more of your work!

Another great comment on my article, "Relationship Mistakes: Profiles and Red Flags."

Comment:

Sound advice!

Too many people don't have a "mate selection/screening process".

They allow "impulse connections" and "happenstance" to dictate their relationship decisions. It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!

If you go to the grocery store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No!

You learn to become a "better shopper"!

Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself!

If something doesn't feel right to you it's probably not right for you.

Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.

"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

- Oscar Wilde

Political Stand

I used to hate talking politics. At that time, it was because I knew that politics divided people from each other. The day when my son's friend's mother ran into me right after I voted. I did not volunteer who I voted for. She asked. I told her. She called me the anti Christ. Very rude! It's a good thing that I don't see myself as she does. Some people that profess religion are sometimes not so nice. Something that I have grown to accept.

Just like someone I knew in high school. He didn't profess much about God back then. He does now, and YES, he is a Republican today. However, he is just another hypocrite. He wanted his wife to get an abortion when she got pregnant. SHE refused, and she's a Democrat. The male Republican was also caught kissing a guy. Therefore, WTH? The Republicans that I know live by, "do as I say, not as I do." If it effects my life, have an abortion. However, if it does not effect my life, I am allowed to judge. This is sad.

FYI, my daughter was told by a religious education teacher that Catholism was the supreme religion. Which my daughter did not agree with, and she asked me, "can I quit my religious education classes?" I told her to finish out the year, and if it is still how you feel, then, "yes, you may quit." Well, she waited until the end of the year, and she still felt the same way, so she quit. Yes, I am sure she still believes in God. However, I cannot blame her for shaking her head at some of these people. Because I do not understand it myself. No matter Democrat or Republican, people have become hateful. It isn't one-sided. It's both.

Now, I feel that the only way to be true to myself is to let the comments fly. My son's best friend's mother did, when she called me the anti Christ. Therefore, why shouldn't I? We all have opinions. When I come across some nicer Republicans my comments will fly less. However, that probably will never happen. I'm prepared for that to. However, I know that I'm not going to stop believing in what I believe in. God made us different for a reason.

My Christmas

While I stayed at my parents house, Christmas Eve, with my youngest brother, his girlfriend and their two kids; the older brother, his wife, their 2 year old and our parents went to church. Yes, I do still believe in God. However, we have had a conflict about his plan for me, for quite some time. Who knows, maybe it is because my DNA proved that I am related to Saint Luke, and I am supposed to be some kind of example. God's plans are never apparent as they are happening, are they? I am sure I will figure out the reason why God planned my life the way he did, in time.

Christmas Eve brought my youngest brother putting together a joint gift for the two youngest (soon to be three) granddaughters. I didn't really think my youngest brother had it in him, but he did. He's come a long way. When the church goers returned, we opened gifts. Mainly, gift cards and scratch off lottery tickets for the adults. This time my mom won the most money. This time I came in second. I was first last Christmas. However, this Christmas I actually won more than the $12 that I won last year. Of course, still in the double digits, while my mother made it to the triple digits. Lucky her!

I have got to say that my boyfriend is quite the gift giver. He got me a new work bag on wheels. (He knew that I had been having problems with my right shoulder and left elbow since my car accident early June. My other work bag was not helping that cause.) He got me a fleece vest that has, what reminds me of an Indian pattern. Which I found out that my maternal Haplogroup is connected to Cherokee Indian. He also got me another top that he says were from his dogs. He even got my dog some treats, and she gave him lots of kisses. His parents got me my planner for this year, and his sister got me one of those tins of three different kinds of popcorn. During an after Christmas sale my boyfriend also found me a Christmas vest that says, "The cat did it." He is, seriously, amazing. I never felt so spoiled by a man before now. (Well, besides my father.)

I received two gift cards from my brother, sister in law and two year old niece. One was for a restaurant to be used with my boyfriend. The other I bought a new wallet and a rustic looking storage box to put cd's in. Then I went and bought two tops at the place where my mom wanted to go and use her gift card. Later, I went to Michael's to use my gift card from my mom. Where I bought one of those floating charm lockets, charms to put inside and a chain. (My boyfriend's mother saw it. Now she wants one. Think it might be a good mother of the groom gift this time around.) My boyfriend's mother also mentioned that a strand of pearls that were her mothers, broke. She collected all the pearls and I will be attempting to put it back together again. She said that it was something her mother wore all of the time. I also got a restaurant gift card from my mom, to be used with my boyfriend. We ended up using it before we went to see the new Star Wars movie.

I got my parents a personalized Christmas ornament. The cutest ornament I bought has to be the one that I got for my brother, sister-in-law and two year old niece's tree. It is one of Dad, mom and younger snowman, but the mom snowman has a baby bump. It says, "baby," and it points to the baby bump. Very cute!! My boyfriend, actually, found it. I also got my oldest brother an "Elf on the Shelf." I figure he can start a Christmas tradition with his kids. He seemed to like the story book that came with it. However, I think the girls will prefer the elf doll. I think even my mother was surprised how much my brother seemed to like it.

My youngest brother's clan got gift cards, and my sisters' in law's and mom each got two pair of handmade earrings from me. (They are pictured on the hubpage titled: "Jewelry Making classes at Michael's.")

New Years Resolutions

1. Eat more chicken and turkey. (It is said that these two meats help you sleep better.) Monitor how much red meat I eat.

2. Eat more veggies.

3. Let my hair grow out to the length of Audrey Plaza, in Dave and Mike need Wedding Dates, for my wedding day. (It's a bob, and a good length for me.)

4. Spend more time with my supportive friends and family.

5. Always remember where I came from. (I feel very fortunate to come from many historical figures. When I look to the sky, I imagine them looking down on me. However, it is a constant reminder to always look up.)

6. Continue to make good choices for the benefit of myself and/or my clients. Even if it does not benefit those that are unsupportive of me. (I have to keep my supportive circle in fine tune.) Sorry.

7. Accept the things that I cannot change.

8. Look for other employment opportunities. (I might need them soon.)

9. Make final decision on wedding location and budget. Bridal party gifts. And who will take care of my precious dog while we are on location. (I hate leaving animals behind.)

10. Do not get my hopes up anymore. It is always a huge let down when you constantly remain hopeful and are let down when it does not happen.

11. Love what is good for me will increase longevity.

Comfort Zone

Late last year, I did something that I would have normally not have done. I am still very surprised at myself. However, it led to something that I am proud of. It's not something that I think will make a lucrative, financial impact on my life. If it does, that would be great. However, as it stands right now, it is just a personal impact on my life. My personal, none couple, well being. Although, I think he has a lot to do with it.

Please don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone in life. Because when you do, you find so much more to life. When I did, it brought personal success. My hope is to do much more about this. Women should attempt to do more of this. It should help break that glass ceiling. Good luck.

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