New Year's Day, Of Hell
I don't really think much of holidays or new year's. In the past, I used to get this urge to do something really important or special because of what was associated with the holiday or because the rest of the world was celebrating it. You can feel that energy- the vibe that everyone was going out or throwing a party and celebrating with their friends. This year I thought to myself, I don't care for New Year's, as I felt last year. Last year, I went to see Billy Joel in concert, while some relatives came by unexpectedly staying at my place, while I took off abandoning them. Sorry, but I'd rather go to a concert than spend the night at downtown disney with my aunt, uncle, their kids, cousin, his wife and kids.
New Year's Eve Day
Last year wasn't too bad, and it ended up being a fun night just to be able to go. So I thought the same about this year- I wasn't going to make too much of a fuss and just end up doing something, or nothing. Really, I wanted to stay at home and spend the time with my cats, since I don't have too many friends I could've hung out with. But, alas, I had a date. A guy I had seen several times prior, who seemed nice enough. Obviously, since we seem to have clicked, he invited me to go to epcot with him on New Year's. I said of course, sure. Since we live in Orlando, FL we have the disney annual passes. To me, it wasn't going to be good or bad- hopefully just another fun night at disney, but maybe a little MORE fun since it was NYE.
Like I said, I wasn't expecting much but figured things would go with the flow as they have for the past few weeks, sort of. It seems however, the New Year, started off with not a bang, but bummer after bummer odd situations.
I think the day of the 31st already started off being a not so good day. For one, the trash people didn't pick up garbage that was left days ago, and they left a huge mess there. It was taking an act of something large to get these idiots to come to my place and pick up the trash. I refused to pick it up because it was too much scattered everywhere. This trash ordeal was just a joke. It was turning into a spiral of events, where the head of HOA was already talking about paint cans in front of my yard- (really- people can't try to throw a few paint cans away? come on). Also, the supervisor of the trash company was now stalking me and driving by my yard and monitoring my trash- again wtf? My mother called them AGAIN for the 7th time asking them if they were going to pick up the trash. This supervisor, who had been rude to me days prior assured her he'd pick up the trash himself, and that there were now boxes out there too. So now im being monitored and watched for ordering items from amazon prime that came in boxes which I hoped to get removed by the trash people--again huh? Very confusing. But this is life in Orlando, FL- a city full of freaks, and especially in the whacked out neighborhood I live in.
When I woke up, which was later in the day, I saw dog poop in front of my door. So on top of discriminatory rude trash people not getting my trash, bothering me, a supervisor now stalking my residence, I have to deal with a nasty old man who I once watched let his dog poop near my mailbox. It was obvious he did it on purpose and did so regularly. This was many months ago and I was furious, but I didn't say anything because I don't know how disturbed some of these people are. I realized, now that the trash was scattered near my mailbox this crazy jerk old man decided he wanted to further harass me more by having his dog poop in front of my door. Again I was furious and called my mother to ask her if she can talk to the head of HOA about this.
By this point, I was angry and even more upset that the trash wasn't picked up because now I have a barrage of lunatics stalking and harassing me over trash that is there that wasn't even my doing in the first place. My mother, who does not live with me, tried calling the trash company over and over again. It wasn't until later that night, that the trash was FINALLY and surprisingly picked up. So surprisingly my yard was then clutter free--but only for a few hours before the rowdy jerk college kids across the street and their friends trashed the street in front of me and some of my yard as they usually do by throwing debris and other items there.
During the day still, a pet sitter who I thought was a scam shows up- it was a meet and greet and I was hoping she wouldn't stay long- but she stayed for 1.5 hours, for no reason, and normally I would like that, but I had to work, and at this point most of my day was wasted then. I rushed to walmart to do the things I had to do, only to realize how late I was. I told my date I would be there by 6, constantly pushing the time up more and more. By the time I was ready I was leaving my house by 8:15. I told him I had left 30 mins prior. I got ready for NYE at Epcot not knowing what to wear, wanting to wear something sexy, but decided i'd go with semi cute, some cute pants and a loose but stylish shirt. I looked good- but I always do (kidding).
New Year's Eve at Disney
So now I was begrudgingly on my way to my date's house, whose place I DIDNT want to go to because I felt he wanted me there so badly, and possibly for sexual reasons- though we had already fooled around a bit. My gut was telling me to take two cars to epcot. I'm usually spot on with intuition and didn't know why my intuition kept making me want to take two cars and not go in his car. We had been to disney before, and had a good time- that was the first date though. The 2nd date, he did act weird and did some things I feel intentionally to be rude to me or bring me down, but I somehow got over it. On my way there, I was getting later and later, and my phone died near his place so I had no idea where to go because of no GPS.
i then FINALLY arrived at his place. Though he now said he was waiting outside, as opposed to waiting for me at the window. I don't think he was upset about the 3 hours, but maybe a tiny bit. He said we had to leave right then to go there because sometimes they close the park if it's full. I thought, nah it's epcot- not magic kingdom- it won't close. However, I noticed from the beginning, he was acting 'weird' again- the same way he did two days prior when he came to my place. He was talking REALLY low, no energy- it was not only draining but just really negative. I tried addressing this issue with him days prior. I asked him why he was suddenly talking low and whispering and that I had dealt with 'energy vampire' type people who did that to me particularly because im a high energy positive person. He denied doing any of it, acted as if he had no clue- though he was doing it very intentionally and clearly lying. It seemed to be some sort of control for him.
He- was a somewhat geekyish grade school music teacher- geeky in a sense that he had a big burly look where you think people picked on him in school, he acts a little gay, and has a bit of a face of someone who may have down's syndrome? Kind of like john malkovich. You could easily tell he had low self esteem and admitted many times he was scared of rejection. We had already fooled around once or twice- so I'm not sure where the rejection part comes in but with mr weird music teacher- every new meeting was an opportunity for him to get rejected in his insecure mind.
As we were driving to Epcot, again he wasn't very talkative or happy- he really seemed more like he was shocked by something- maybe because I was wearing eyeliner and looked gorgeous, or maybe he wanted to take my happiness, good energy, but he was very silent, cold and weird. It was obvious he was very aware of his behavior because as he almost began to talk normally, he would stop and talk low. I mentioned to him how he was doing the 'whispering' thing again, but he didn't budge. He didn't answer some of my questions and it was for control or to bring me down. I was already starting to sink by then, but still happy enough. We entered Epcot, and he did try to put his arm around me, but I didnt want to at the time, so I'm assuming he felt rejected. As we were walking, again he was dead silent, and wasn't talking to me. If I tried to talk to him he'd rudely say "I CANT HEAR YOU" or ignore me, on purpose, so i stopped trying. He bought us some disney necklaces, and again silent during most of it. it was new year's eve and I expected him to be a LITTLE uppity or even talkative, but he seemed to be in a game where he wanted to bring me down.
As we walked down Epcot, witnessing the many spectacles going on around us, music stages, lights, people, he continued being annoying, then started talking a little. I walked up and told him to follow me and he stayed behind. Finally we got to a restaurant which was surprisingly taking people and sat down. During dinner, he was ok. He wasn't rude, except the time he said he was texting his friend from Ga who was staying at his in laws (in reality he told me later that was his ex wife).
New Year's Eve, not the night I was thinking it would be
After dinner again, he tried to put his arm around me. After all the negativity from before, I don't think I wanted his arm around me- not b/c I didnt like him, but because I dont like it when people try to bring me down. Also, I saw him in a different light- I finally saw him for the geek I felt he was. I thought- gosh he's kind of ugly and geeky..why did I let him touch me? Was I that horny? I guess I was. But it was more about the way he was acting. Every move he made was to drain me or take my energy. Ive dealt with many 'energy takers, vampires' or just people who want to do that to someone. They do it to me b/c again I'm really positive. It was getting tiring- all of it. He'd act weird, or he'd look at me with a cheesy smile and say "ready"?? "you ready??" He never did that before. He got in my space did lots of weird things. The crowd was irritating too and between the crowd and his nonsense I wanted to leave. We rode a few rides, and he managed to fully get me at the last one- on purpose. By this time we had already had a conversation about all that was happening.
He said to me "you're acting weird tonight, you didnt want your arm around me" and something else. I was so drained and mumbled that it's not me. Then we got into a diatribe about it and during this last ride, he made some bizarre comment about some historical period, that was so boring and draining it ruined the ride and the entire night for me, which was already bad. As he said that, he was smirking, which means he knew what he was doing. Ive been around people who when you're around something fun or positive, will try to drain you and make every experience bad or miserable. He was doing that with almost every ride. he did it with the fireworks too- they'll try to distract you from the fireworks, and when the REALLY major fireworks are about to come, they'll somehow distract you with some pointless bizarre comment so you don't absorb the energy of that event. For example, right before the climax of an event they'll make this stupid comment- to distract and drain. it's done very calculatingly- he did it the whole show. I was upset at what he did during the fireworks, and ive experienced it a few times with other 'bad dates', but this jerk was doing it the WHOLE night, except during dinner. I was shopping for some things, and he didnt make a single comment- like "oh that's cool, look at that thing." He stood by, silent. With the kind of rapport we had, that wasn't normal and it was annoying.
So now, after his weird bizarre draining comment, I was done. I could barely talk. This creep managed to leech EVERY ounce of positive energy from me, which was A LOT. He managed to make epcot a nightmare for me and new year's eve a nightmare. Not a positive thing, positive interaction- I notice he only spoke to me in normal tones when he was berating or being weird or saying he had to go to the bathroom. Other than that, he either yelled or whispered. By this time I was already expressing my disdain for his behavior explaining to him he was negative, silent, and rude the whole time except for dinner. He constantly denied it getting angry and defensive, but it was obvious it was a game/lie. He was happy he brought me down and worse it was turning him on. I feel he just wanted to bring me down b/c he could break me down a few notches, get sexual things off me easier, and worse, it just turned him on as it does some guys to be mean to a female.
As we were driving out, there was a LONG line of about a 30 min wait to get out. So now i was stuck with this monster in his car, hence the reason my intuition was telling me to take separate cars, which I wish I had done. I could salvage my happiness had I done so. Being around him was a nightmare at this point. He was nothing but silent or negative. Not a single positive thing to say to salvage the night, nothing. I realized then he was most likely a psycohpath or just bitter, and other things he had done indicated that too. He continued trying to be negative or argue his point that he did nothing wrong. He did say "well i tried to put my arms around u twice and you pushed away so that means you don't like me." I defitnitely noticed the undertone there- a smirk and shimmer of happiness that this drama was ensuing the way it was. At this point, I didnt want to be rude- I was a little scared of his potential, so I tried to talk a little bit- which was impossible since I had no energy left in me- it was as if someone just drained the life out of me. But I tried. By the time we got back to his place, he tried giving me a book he got me, to which I refused, and he said good luck to you.
A bad start to a New Year
I saw this all as a bad sign- it was a bad start to a New Year, which I tried so hard to be normal or positive. The problem is, patterns create the same patterns, so this wasn't a good thing. I drove home hoping I could go home and enjoy a good night's sleep. What I encountered was anything but. I have 7 cats, it's a long story and having the last two kittens I have now has been a nightmare. 5 cats+2 new kittens= not a lot of fun. I come home to realize, the stray cat I take care of somewhat, who's mostly outside because I'm overwhelmed with so many cats, who I left inside due to fireworks, decided to urinate and defecate in the kitchen corner. Nice. So I come home to this mess and smell. It hasn't happened before either and not with him. So I clean that, and realize, that the cat room which the messy crazy kittens use primarily, seems to need the litter box scooped. I thought- ok I'll SCOOP the litter boxes- it'll suck but it can't be too bad- I hope.
What I experienced was another night of hell trying to clean up dirty litter, and a mess. Not only were the boxes full of crap literally, filthy, disgusting, some kittens are urinating ALL around the boxes- so now there are piles of urine that need to be cleaned up- even underneath the boxes. Then I have one cat who's stressed b/c of the kittens, so she's urinating in all the corners ruining that room, and in one other area of the house. So I spent a disgusting hour cleaning cat urine and sh*t in a room, after I had a bad night at epcot. I thought- this can't be good.
By the time I was done, I felt disgusting, dirty, and wanted to take a shower but was too tired to. So now I have to sleep smelling like cat sh*t. Before the two new kittens I got, I cleaned the litter boxes once a week. I was comfortable with 5 cats. The two extra kittens have been like torture for me, and a new surprise of hell everyday. Ive had to rearrange my whole house, and buy new furniture to accommodate my mental health in dealing with these cats. So I had to go to sleep again on a dirty bed, riddled in dirt and feeling gross. At least I had some peace.
By the time I woke up, I began smelling bouts of fecal matter. I thought--did some idiot defecate somewhere?? Of course, I wake up, and there is fecal matter RIGHT in front of the AC vent--again huh?? with CLEAN litter boxes?? this has NEVER happened before?? It's very strange. Also there was a bag and under it in the kitchen there was cat urine. I realized, that before I went to bed, i was furious, so in a drunken rage I began semi yelling about how much i hate the cats- very mildly and was mostly angry at the kittens. They sensed this anger and seem really sensitive to it- so much so that they defecated and urinated in protest to it. Thanks. Ive yelled before so not sure what happened, but this was not a good situation. So I went to bed cleaning cat sh*t and urine, and woke up cleaning cat sh*t and urine. So far it's been a marvelous new year's day.
New Years Day of cops, cockroaches, and cat feces
In my head I kept thinking- i just want to go to the beach or drive out somewhere..it was such a nice day. Then I realized, I woke up late and the sun was setting early these days. I was trying to do some work on the computer, buy steam cleaners too, and decided at this point I needed to buy a bunch of automatic litter boxes and decide which ones were best. I couldn't put up with this cat nonsense anymore. Upon being on the computer I was being bombarded with kittens who as usual wouldn't let me do my work and other things. I was then feeding one cat and a kitten came behind me and I accidentally stepped on her paws and she screamed. I screamed too then. I then realized my window was open, so I closed it. I finally decided i was going to go running and left my house. Of course the street in front of me was now full of debris, fireworks, and my yard had cups and debris of the college kids across me who trash my yard regularly. My yard can never stay clean- these idiots in Orlando are always ruining it.
When I left my house, I noticed a police suv waiting on the side of my neighborhood- this happens sometimes. I didnt think much of it. Then I noticed as I was waiting to try to turn on the road, the police began moving his car backwards to block my view of the road. Huh? I thought. Why is he doing that? What a jerk. He kept doing it- as if he was monitoring me. Then suddenly another police SUV pulls up suddenly behind me, and both seem like they want to follow me. I was shocked and confused- wtf?? I just want to go for a run. I finally managed to get on the road even with the cop suv purposely blocking my view and turned into a nearby plaza, only to see that BOTH suv's had followed me into the plaza and were kind of hovering around me. One drove by me staring, as I was on the phone with my mother, semi freaking out, or confused. I'm thinking..ok REALLY- after all this, i can't just go on a normal run now, or leave my house today. This is crazy.
It seems then the SUV's decided I wasn't a threat or there wasn't a threat and they sort of left, still staring at me. I pulled out and I figured MAYBE some stupid neighbor heard me scream and called the cops- my mother said it may have been to check to see if i was ok. Who knows. So now I try to go running and can't go to my normal weekend spot which is a deserted office building and I run like a weirdo in the parking lot because it's efficient and safe. I drive somewhere else and am too scared and nervous to run so I have to leave after a few minutes. I decide at that point that because I wanted couscous at epcot and didn't get it, I wanted to get couscous at an arab restaurant, but the nearest one is a family who is an old friend of my brothers who are usually rude to me. I figured, well I have no choice, so I placed an order.
I went home, changed and left for the restaurant. I planned on going to disney AGAIN and making it a positive experience because at least with myself, it would be positive. On my way to the restaurant, I began to hear a crunching noise in my car. About a month ago, I had my car cleaned and oddly, that's when a roach suddenly appeared out of nowhere entering my car making this weird noise. I ended up killing the roach about a week later. Well more like, the roach snuck onto my to-go box container which I left in my car for an hour. I went to get the container, thrilled there was no roach on it. Then, in my kitchen, later I noticed the roach hiding on the container. That was fun. Then the day my sister came to visit and left, I went to use my car and witnessed 3 large roaches crawling inside, on the side and in my car. I was horrified. I had also cleaned out my garage extensively that day so I thought that was the reason. I was too scared to even drive my car until 5pm the next day. For about a week or so it's been ok. I check with a flashlight everytime I get in for those dreaded things. So today, especially it being so early I definitely wasn't expecting a surprise. When I heard the crunching noise, I was alarmed yet didn't think much until I saw the LARGE disgusting thing crawling on the side of my car. I almost got into a wreck of course, and immediately did an illegal u-turn into a turning lane around to where I could pull into an isolated driveway area.
I opened my car door horrified. Using my i-phone flashlight to glare into the car trying to get it out. I noticed it was on the side door in the compartment. Luckily, because of the other situation, I had equipped myself with cockroach killing equipment. A tennis racquet, a spray bottle of soap/water mixture which I didn't use for anything which had been sitting in my kitchen, and a useless bug vacuum which had no suction power. I stared at the roach who was glaring at me with it's beady eyes. The small roaches don't bother me- even medium sized ones. There are some I think that are cute- like the ones with black on them, you can find them in Florida- they're these beetle looking roaches- theyre really cute and imo not gross or threatening. But THESE roaches- are different. These are the LARGE disgusting palmetto type american cockroaches, which have that beige line on them. The really DISGUSTING ones. And with them trapped in a car with you?? Holy crap.
I managed to spray and swat at it- but he didnt budge much until somehow he was crawling down and I managed to get him on the road- he did scurry off but I couldn't tell if he got back on the car. I got back in the car, horrified, terrified, scared to drive but NEEDING that damn couscous. So I courageously DROVE my car 10 miles to the stupid arab restaurant to hopefully GRAB my couscous and leave. I had been STARVING all day and wanted to eat. Because of roaches I don't use my car as a portable diner anymore- I used to eat in it all the time but not now. And I definitely wasn't going to eat in a car where there were fellow roaches riding waiting for the waft of food they can smell.
When I got to the restaurant, I didn't want to deal with those rude people. They never said hi, how are you, how's your brother, family. They treated me like crap, as usual. Then, they handed me my order and I noticed it was too light to be couscous so I opened it and it was something else. Great, now I have to wait and I can't even wait in my car. As I waited, I hoped they would let me take the other dish too which they may have but, I went outside since my sister facetimed me. The male/owner was rude/dumb towards me trying to blame my phone for mishearing me. Screw you jerk. I had to wait an extra 15 mins. I was planning on going back inside where the old dish was to make sure i'd take it too, until one employee came outside with my dish- he did that on purpose to prevent me from taking the other dish- just to be a jerk. I didn't protest- i just wanted to get home.
Getting home was an ordeal, as was getting there when I called my mother to freak out, telling her the story, and semi screaming every few seconds because every black thing I saw was a cockroach in my mind. I could feel the thing crawling on me, or near me. I felt roaches the whole time I was in my car freaking out. I held my flashlight furiously open, I'm sure confusing passerbys or cars around me, but I had to keep checking every area scared that any second one would appear out of nowhere near my head or around me. With the way things were going, I was certain it would. I also kept hearing that crackling, crunching noise of the roaches being in some vents or area of my car- and they or it was probably there, more of them. I thought, if I could just get home, without being attacked by a roach, this won't be so bad. So I salvaged my state of mind and health just to get couscous that I almost didn't get due to them messing up my order.
I FINALLY managed to make it home- grateful that, I didn't encounter another large creature near me or around. I was starving and just WANTED to devour that couscous. I was so hungry I didn't know what to say. I told the stray cat to buzz off as he wanted to come inside- not right now sweetie, ive been through HELL and im starving. As I open the door, I walk in and barely turn around to see what I thought was a giant roach, but was in fact a LARGE pile of more cat sh*t that some cat had decided to dump RIGHT in front of my door.
Ive had my cats for many years- and never ONCE has anyone ever done anything like this. But let me explain what I'm sure happened- I have a cat door which my cats dont know how to use. I decided today i'd lift open the flap tape it open and put a thing there that they can walk under to get inside. I think one of my cats didn't know what that was and needed to defecate so he decided to do it RIGHT smack in the area I walk in when I enter- kind of like screw you and walk in sh*t. So I come in to FINALLY eat my couscous, and semi step into cat sh*t, and my shoes I assume are dirty, so I put them outside, I spend the next 10 mins cleaning up more cat sh*t, being furious and angry cursing out loud at these cats and how much I hate them, and of course, picturing and smelling cat sh*t as I'm finally getting down to eating my couscous.
Of course I devour the couscous, of course as the cats are slowly gathering around me hating on me for even consuming any food item while they sit around spoiled and starving for their food, though of course they always have food out for them. So as I'm smelling the aftermath of cat sh*t, eating my couscous, I realize I can't eat in the living room- that's where it was at, I have to eat in the kitchen. A kitten comes and decides he wants to bite my foot constantly in protest for me eating in front of them, and other cats are all gathering around wanting their food. I tell them to back off right now- I need to eat. I'm yelling "STOP IT"!! STOP IT!!! get away from me!! while again my window is open and the neighbors window is open and they're probably hearing everything all over again, since they're nosey jerks in Orlando.
Of course, there was no way I was leaving the house that night. There were about ten obstacles including of course roaches, potential cops (who knows), and the fear that if I left my cats on their own that day I would come home to some disgusting things. All I did was try to exercise, and go get take out and it turned into some terrible nightmarish ordeal. Who knows what would ensue had I left the house again- well I'm pretty sure I do. I was forced to stay at home the rest of the evening, eager to drive around the next day. At this point, it's been quite a new year's eve and new year's day- and ive been told by TWO different people now, one being a healer that it's going to be a good year for me--really?? You REALLY feel that way?? Judging from last night and today- I don't even freaking want to know.