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Ridiculously annoying things.
We all have pet-peeves. Every single one of us becomes uncontrollably angry when we see or hear them too. Some more than others. Some people may even be forced to punch a small kitten, or break a window.
But I'm sure we can all agree that these are ridiculously annoying things.
- When the same advert plays more than once in succession during an ad-break. - This happened once during the Christmas holidays, in which the same burlesque women for the Iceland advert (A frozen food store) came onto the TV screen 5 times in a row singing their horrifically annoying shanty. Needless to say the TV went through the window.
- When you're on a train or Bus, and someone decides to shout at the top of their voice on their mobile phone. - Listen mate, nobody here needs to know what you said to your girlfriend last night, and if the geezer on the other end of the phone can't hear what you are saying, he's probably gone deaf. Most likely after you had a conversation with him and his ear-drums exploded.
- When you're stood in a queue, and somebody barges in front of you. - Well Mrs! I didn't realize you were that little bit more important than I, but I suppose you desperately need to buy a jumbo-pack of Value sausages and bag of frozen chips a minute faster. I definitely see how this can't wait another millisecond!
- Accidentally pressing a random button on the TV remote and not having a clue what you've pressed. - Seriously TV manufacturers! There are a million buttons on my remote, most of which have little nonsensical icons on that don't reveal its function. What does a small square with an arrow pointing to a black box mean? Is this the one I pushed? Will it let me watch The Simpsons again by pressing it? Or does it just set off a nuclear missile in Australia?
- People who continuously post short 2/3 word status' on Facebook such as "Coronation Street", "McDonalds" or "Drinking Carling". - Honestly, I don't give a toss what you're watching, drinking or even eating. I doubt very much anyone else does either! Most people come on Facebook simply to check how everyone is, not receive a long, intricate list of every action you've done throughout the day just because you can't put your phone/Laptop down for more than 10 seconds.
- Overly aggressive error messages, such as "You MUST enter a thing in this box before you continue". - Whoa I'm sorry computer! I didn't realize you were the boss! I also didn't realize that I'd payed £200+ for the chance to get a bollocking from a machine when I make simple, humanistic mistakes!
- Porridge that, when left for any longer than 5 minutes, becomes more solid than concrete. - I'm sorry, but am I eating porridge or mortar? I'm pretty sure this would make a suitable and cheaper alternative to the strong building material concrete. But I don't want to have to eat it.
- Useless leaflets in the mail that give you the initial buzz of excitement that you actually do have some mail, before the inevitable disappointment that you actually don't and you had your hopes up just to be let down. - Do companies strike at a similar time to the mail just to grab our attention? Or do they do it accidentally with no intention to cause any disappointment/feelings of absolute rage and furious anger? Either way, this damn leaflet is going in the bin!
- Camp Coffee. - Okay, who decided this might be a good idea? It's got the look of coffee, with all the taste of dog excrement and sand. It's probably the most disgusting beverage since...Well man drank his own urine. If I'm camping, and need to get a cuppa' Joe, I'll remember "Don't go for Camp Coffee, try drinking toilet water, it's more pleasurable.
- People who drive everywhere at 12mph. - So you're driving down the road at 40, and then you have to knock pretty much all your speed down because some old man driving a Morris Marina can't get above 15 in a 40 zone. Come on Gramps, you're just as likely to cause a bloody accident than speeders, why don't you call it a day, buy a Stanna Stairlift, sell the old car and jump into your slippers, that way everybody is happy.
- People who get engaged on the Jeremy Kyle show. - Believe me, this has happened. And what a place to get engaged? Sure, it's on TV, which might give it one merit point...But to be on the show you have to actually be in some kind of relationship trouble. Besides, it's not the average Joe who gets engaged...It's spotty greasy 16 year old kids who've been together about a week. I can't think of anything less romantic. Was it "love at first Donna-Kebab?"
- MTV. - Okay so MTV is a music channel right? Oh wait, not anymore! They like to show TV shows now! But I suppose they're music related, right? Oh wait, no. What shows do they show? That's right, shite nobody actually wants to watch. Who wants to see some B-Movie actors house, or see a Douche-Bag with spiky hair play a trick on a "celebrity" nobody's heard of? Nobody, that's who.