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Shive's Valentine's Day Special

Updated on February 15, 2015

Yesterday, February 14th, 2015, a date which will live in harmony, I was actually on a date. That's right, dear readers. I, Michael Shive was on a friendly date with a lovely young lady on Valentine's Day! Read it and weep! I mean, really. I hadn't had a date since February of the year of our Lord 2007. It was a warm February day in... Wednesday, perhaps, that I got a text message from a friend I've known since 2012. And it read something about going out on Valentine's day with her to watch a recently launched movie, and highly trending, Fifty Shades of Grey. Oh, yes. I'll tell you right now that it's a superb movie. Except for all the sex, sadism, masochism and dominance.

But before all that, I should like to tell you the hair-thin line that held us together and was so nearly broken before Valentine's Day. On Friday, two days after she had texted me to be her date, messaged that she was in Ayala ready to buy the tickets. And at that moment, I literally felt my heart skip a beat. "Say again and repeat, please" was what I was thinking. "No, no, no, you're not in Ayala" I kept telling myself. But worry of worries, she really was and she was falling in line to buy the tickets in advance. Now, I must say that at this point, I was really sweating. I mean, really. I was sweating as many buckets as you could fill in an Olympic-sized swimming pool. I was drenched in my own bodily fluids. To make a long story short, we were in Ayala the next day.

My lovely Valentina

Isn't she just beautiful?
Isn't she just beautiful?

Now, about this time, I had fallen in line approximately 30 minutes ahead of her. But before I get into the details, let me indulge myself and tell you how perilous and dangerous a trip it was to go to Ayala. It was sheer and utter pandemonium! If you've seen Youtube videos of Somalia and corruption and piracy, this was similar if not worse. And for a tiny bit there, I thought we'd never make it. Thank God that it was a quick-thinking driver behind the wheel or else I'd have been stuck there for all eternity. In a nutshell, all I said was traffic. Bumper-to-bumper traffic. So much traffic, in fact, that I'm willing to bet that a present-day modern battle tank couldn't get out of the mess Beelzebub had caused. And you know how well suited and capable tanks are in off road driving conditions.

Where was I, dear readers? Oh, yes. In Ayala waiting in line (which was a billion miles long, I have to say) to get the tickets as well as waiting for my lovely Valentine's Day date, Gelve (For security reasons, her surname shall be withheld). Finally, after much nervous anticipation, she had arrived. And my, goodness me, was she just adorably beautiful or what? She looked beautiful! She looked marvelous! I'm actually running out of words to describe her. I commented on her looking good in the dress that she wore as a, "full of sexy". And she made me feel very at ease, almost as if I was flying. In simple words, she took my breath away. I gave her the rose that was for her and when we bought the tickets, jolly of jollies, the lady at the counter gave her another rose. Superb!

Our lunch date

Look at her lovely smile
Look at her lovely smile

After we had bought the tickets, we both decided to have a tiny bit of mastication. And if you're wondering what the blithering world does that mean, it means, simply to buy food for sustenance. And since I felt that this was Gelve's special day, I insisted that she choose a restaurant that she was comfortable with. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and loyal readers of Shive's reviews and journalism, I introduce you to Dessert Factory. Be advised, though, that I don't normally plug stuff or perform publicity promotion, but I feel obliged.

We'd ordered our meals, which were delightful, I must say, to masticate and sustain ourselves for the day. Be advised that eating with her on the other end of the table (table for two, please) was even more delightful. I was able to see the window outside and it seemed as if everyone was looking at us and only us. It was almost like watching one of ABS-CBN's telenovela's during Prime Time and saying "I've got a story of my own with her". All that was missing was the camera crew. I seriously wished there was a camera crew there for us. And after we had said thank you to each other, we proceeded to return to the cinema house. Mind you, and rather very sweet and loving, we held hands. I hadn't held hands with a lady in 8 years yet there I was with Gelve, a very gorgeous young lady, holding her hand and making all other men jealous. I even saw some men just staring. That made me proud. I felt honored, privileged and blessed to have held her hand. I pray that another day will come for us.

I wish I could've gotten her more roses

You think we match? I think so.
You think we match? I think so.

And at last, we entered the cinema house - holding hands - and found our seats. Front row seats to be exact. Now, I'm a tall and cheeky fellow so looking up at the one-million-inch LED TV wasn't painful but it was just a slight bit uncomfortable. Not that it was a bid deal. Besides, I'm not going to ruin a date just for being slightly uncomfortable!

When the movie started, and it took an absolute age (30 minutes to be exact) to start the movie. It makes sense, actually. Commercial after commercial was bombarding us to the point that I was thinking it was a battlefield. And when the movie did start, Gelve was absolutely excited. You should've seen the excitement in her eyes. It was like a little boy or little girl getting a jolly meal at Jollibee. Her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. And when Anastasia met Christian she was so kilig that I was kilig too. I remember the helicopter date and every lady in the cinema went, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!" I mean, dating a young multi-billionaire with a helicopter is a dream come true, isn't it? You'd be happy dating in a car and Christian did just that but he upped the ante with a helicopter and even taught her how to fly a glider.

However, there was terrible a price to pay for all that. It meant that Anastasia had to be submissive. And when I say submissive, I mean sexually submissive. So submissive in fact, that Christian's aggressiveness can be considered misogyny. I've given you enough spoilers and I shan't spoil the movie for you, though.

Can't stop looking at that smile

I wish she was my girlfriend
I wish she was my girlfriend

Peace is our profession

We come in peace!
We come in peace!

Now, how shall I end this? Well, I've got no idea how except to say thank you very much for inviting me on a date, Gelve. It was, quite frankly, the most spectacular and wonderful day of my life. We should definitely do that again.

The Global Trailer

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