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"Thank-You" Notes: Rules for the Wedding!

Updated on October 6, 2015
Where's my thank-you note???
Where's my thank-you note???

"Thank-You" Notes, What the Bride-To-Be Needs to Know!

To me, there's nothing more important when it comes to wedding etiquette than the proper use of the "thank-you" note.

Family members and wedding guests bend-over-backward when it comes to weddings. They may be obligated to purchase shower and wedding gifts, pay for travel and lodging to and from the wedding, buy the appropriate garments to attend in style--and may give the couple an engagement gift, to boot!

That's why these wedding guests and family members, who have put so much time, effort, and money into your wedding, be shown the appropriate thanks, and it must be done timely!

A bride-to-be receives many gifts along the way to the altar.
A bride-to-be receives many gifts along the way to the altar.

As the Engagement Progresses: Send "Thank-You" Notes!

There are many pre-wedding celebrations that the bride's family and/or friends will host for her as the engagement progresses. And at many of these celebrations, she will receive gifts.

The key is to keep a log of all gifts received. List the party's date; who gave the gift; what it was; and the date the thank-you note was sent.

Always send thank-you notes within three weeks of receiving a gift! Let your family members and wedding guests know that you are appreciative of all they do for you!

A bride's monogram may feature either or first or last name, or incorporate all her initials.
A bride's monogram may feature either or first or last name, or incorporate all her initials.

"Thank-You" Note Rules

Before the wedding, you may buy notes that have the bride's monogram on the front, or the simple words "Thank You".

At no time should you buy a card with a thank-you verse printed on the inside. That's tacky! You are the one who must write her personal thanks for the gift you've received. That's what makes thank-you notes memorable and special.

Keep your log, and always send the notes within three weeks of receiving your gifts, whether for engagement, shower or wedding.

Thank-you notes may be sent from the bride, or from the bride and groom. 

Don't forget to send your thank-you notes within three weeks of your wedding date!
Don't forget to send your thank-you notes within three weeks of your wedding date!

"Thank-You" Notes After the Wedding

Once again, all thank-you notes for gifts received at the wedding, must be sent within three weeks of receiving the gift.

The thank-you note may come from both the bride and groom and may be their monogram. Let's say that Susan married David Chase. The monogram on the front would be:

sCd Bride's first name; couple's surname; groom's first name.

NOTE: If you purchase expensive wedding invitations, you may save money by buying less expensive thank-you notes. No one will be the wiser.

P.S. Visit Deborah McCoy, AAWP:


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    • Deborah McCoy profile imageAUTHOR

      Deborah McCoy 

      8 years ago from Florida

      What a great idea! Thanks for the contribution. And I agree with you, good manners are not old-fashioned and never get old!

    • katie54321 profile image


      8 years ago from Pennsylvania

      When I was planning my wedding (many years ago!) I came up with this idea. As I wrote out the invitation I wrote out a corresponding thank you note envelope. If gifts came in before the wedding I was able to compose a thank you card right then and there. I had them all filed alphabetically by last name to make them easy to find.

      It is good to read that people are still putting some importance on thank you notes. It might be old fashioned to some people but in my opinion good manners are never old fashioned!


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