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Children Say The Funniest Things About Christmas!

Updated on September 23, 2013
Source

Children have a natural talent for being humorous

"Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said." ~Author Unknown

Children have the most extraordinary gift for giving answers that you least expect. Not only that but they often so serious about their replies that it makes their responses even more humorous.

Adult comediennes struggle for years to make people laugh – children can do it without even trying.

This article is made up from quotes gathered over a number of years by various sources. They are all from primary school children aged between 4 and 7 years in the UK.

However, these children’s quotes could be from any child anywhere in the world!

Children love taking part in nativity plays and they also enjoy giving their own thoughts on the holy family.
Children love taking part in nativity plays and they also enjoy giving their own thoughts on the holy family. | Source

Funny scenes from a school nativity play

Children say what you least expect

“The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed.” ~ Author Unknown


Children’s responses to questions on the Nativity are, to put it mildly, unique.

Children were asked about Mary and Joseph:

Debbie - 4 years - "Jesus's Mummy and Daddy are called Mary and Jovis."

Jake - 6 years - "Jesus's parents were gods".


Children's responses to the Three Wise Men:

Jason - 5 years - "The three wise men brought Jesus presents of gold and silver. But I think he would have preferred wrestling toys."

Danny - 7 years - "I know for his birthday Jesus got money and gold but I would have given him a Liverpool football kit."

David - 6 years - "I don't know what the wise men brought Jesus but I would have given him a tin of biscuits. I think Mary and Joseph would have all liked a biscuit."

Danielle - 5 years - "They brought Jesus gold and myrrh but I would have brought him a nice warm blanket."

Rob - age 6 - "The wise men brought gold stuff for Jesus but a Lego set would have been better."

Susie - 5 years - "The three wise men brought Jesus gold, scent and silver - no real presents. I feel sorry for him."

Vicky - 6 years - "When he was born three kings brought him gold coins and a sheep."

Children make Christmas magical but they can also create some of the funniest times we experience at Christmas.
Children make Christmas magical but they can also create some of the funniest times we experience at Christmas. | Source

The Animals of the Christmas Stable

“Children see magic because they look for it.” Christopher Moore, Author.

When children were asked what animals were present in the stable where Jesus was born, here are some of the answers:

Martin - 6 years: "There were sheep, horses and a crocodile outside the stable."

Rebecca - 5 years: "In the stable there were oxens, a donkey, three camels, three birds - all white - and three cats, all black."

Harriet - 7 years: "There was a donkey, sheep and a cow there, and Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus. Other people came too but I don’t know how they all fitted in.”

Megan - 5 years: "I think there were big cows, a bird, a rabbit and a man with a sheep.”

Sasha - 6 years: "There were camels, donkeys and cows around the stable and the wise men went to the manger to say hello to Jesus as well."


Questions answered about the stable itself:

Alex - 5 years - "Baby Jesus was born in a stable made out of hay with string around it."

Lindsay - 7 years - "He was born in a stable where Mary and Joseph stayed. There were chickens, cows and a donkey. I don't remember any more."

David - 4 years - "He was born in a stable a long way away from here in another country. Bethlehem - it's in England."

Elle - 5 years - "Jesus was born in the stable - it had lots of hairs."

Jasmine - 6 years - "Jesus was born in a barn, a shed or barn anyway, or it might have been a stable, one of the three."

Children have their own way of being prepared for Christmas.
Children have their own way of being prepared for Christmas. | Source
What children don't know they will fill in the gaps with their own wonderful imagination.
What children don't know they will fill in the gaps with their own wonderful imagination. | Source

Children and Christmas beliefs

“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” - Bill Cosby


What children had to say about the Star of Bethlehem:

Jacqueline - 7 years - "They followed a special Christmas Star - it only comes out at Christmas time.”

Josh - 6 years - "They followed a star to find Jesus, it's a very special star, but I forgot the rest."

Elaine - 6 years - "They followed a star. It was really bright like the sun, even at night.”

What children said about Jesus:

Jane - 6 years - "Jesus was a king and he wore a crown even though he was a baby. It was a really small crown.”

Lisa - 5 years - "Jesus was a baby king - but there were lots of kings, so he wasn't the only one.”

Karrie - 6 years - Jesus is really old, but not when he was a baby, but I don't know how old he is, maybe Nana would know?"

Jamie - 7 years - "Jesus is a mystery man."

Robbie - 6 years - "Jesus is a baby God or something."

The Archangel Gabriel:

Devon - 5 years - "The Angel Gabriel is a fairy that God sent to help us."

Katie - 6 years - "I don't know who the angel is but I like Jesus."

John - 7 years - "Gabriel was this kind of angel. He was a boy but he's played by a girl in the Christmas plays."

Kim - 6 years - "The Angel Gabriel is a big white fairy. He helped Mary and Joseph to look after the baby - kind of like a doctor."

Zoe - 6 years - "There was also an angel called Gabriel, whose favourite thing was to fly around all day."

Peter - 7 years - "Angel Gabriel was also there and he has yellow wings and a white costume. He doesn't say much."

Children's letters to Santa can tell us so much about how their minds work.
Children's letters to Santa can tell us so much about how their minds work. | Source
Letting chilrens' imaginations run free can make Christmas even more magical.
Letting chilrens' imaginations run free can make Christmas even more magical. | Source

Children's Letters To Santa

“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” Phyllis Diller


Children will write the most amazing things to Father Christmas. The following quotes were taken from Santa letters by children, between 5 and 7 years of age:

  • "I know I behaved really badly this year, but I promise to behave much better next year - so will it be okay if you still come and visit me with presents?"
  • "Do you just have the one set of clothes? Who washes them for you? My mum can do it if you don't have a Mum of your own?"
  • "Can Mrs Santa come instead? I'm very sorry but I'm scared of you!"
  • "Could you make me prettier than my best friend? That's the only present I would like."
  • "Do you have to clean up Rudolph's poo poos? My Dad uses a bag when our dog poo poos - do you have bags?"
  • "If I wake up please don't go away without leaving presents - you made a lot of noise last year and I couldn't help it, I heard and my eyes just kind of opened! But you left nice presents. Please can you do the same again even if my eyes open up?"
  • "Don't worry if Jack our dog barks! He doesn't mean to be bad. Making a bark is just what dogs do. So please leave the presents anyway. If you are very, very scared to come in if Jack barks then could you just leave the presents outside?"
  • "I said to my Dad to put paper down for your muddy boots so that Mummy will not get cross about the dirt on the carpet."
  • "Mummy will leave out biscuits and milk for you but you have to share with the reindeers as well. They must be very hungry."

Source

Christmas survey

Do you have the same Christmas traditions now as you had as a child?

See results

A cheering poem for mums and dads.

I hope you have enjoyed this little excursion into the minds of our wonderful kids! To end the hub here's a poem I found that may help to relieve the stress of hard worked mums and dads everywhere.


Parent's night before Christmas

"Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."

The children were quiet, asleep in their beds,
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes; my heart skipped a beat…
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
if we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!

When, what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!

Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand.
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."

And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
that all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
to keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
with "assembly required" till morning's first light.

We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.

The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.

But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
and not have to run to the store for a thing!

We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
for the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"
Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went.

Though I suppose I should not have become so self-deluded -

I'd forgotten that batteries are never included!


From Website - Funny Poems & Funny Poets


© 2011 Helen Murphy Howell

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  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi MissKate000, many thanks for stopping by and glad that you enjoyed the hub.

    I agree, I think the things that kids say are so funny and awesome!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi billd01603, thanks for stopping by and glad you enjoyed the hub.

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hello Angela - LOL!!!! Oh that is wonderful what that wee kid said!!! I wish I'd heard that I would have put it in the hub - brilliant!!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi Cathleena, many thanks for stopping by. Children really do have the knack of turning the whole world upside down - but in the most funny and cutest way possible!!

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    Miss Kate000 5 years ago

    Cute article, I think children have a way with words, and they say some adorable and funny things.

  • billd01603 profile image

    billd01603 5 years ago from Worcester

    Funny!

  • Angela Brummer profile image

    Angela Brummer 5 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

    I heard on the radio when children were asked about Jesus one child answered, " We have jesus because Mary had an immaculate contraption." Made me laugh so hard! This hub has it all beautiful, funny, sweet, so well put togather! Vote up!

  • Cathleena Beams profile image

    Cathleena Beams 5 years ago from Lascassas, Tennessee

    This is wonderful - Kids do say the cutest things! I especially loved the Christmas toys assembly poem at the end. Voted up, funny, awesome, interesting and also shared!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi tirelesstraveler - many thanks for stopping by and glad that these wonderful kids gave you a laugh! Aren't children awesome!!

  • tirelesstraveler profile image

    Judy Specht 5 years ago from California

    Delightful, just what I needed for a laugh.:)

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi Nicole S,

    Many thanks for stopping by and glad that you enjoyed the hub! Aren't kids just awesome!!!

  • Nicole S profile image

    Nicole S Hanson 5 years ago from Minnesota

    This was way too cute to read! Kids are so funny sometimes!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hello Leann2800 - aren't kids just awesome!! I think why they are so funny is that they don't try to be. Their answers are just the truth as they see it and so it makes it all the more funny. I could watch kids and animals for hours and never get bored!

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    leann2800 5 years ago

    awesome, its not even the holiday season but the funny things kids say make it great for any time of the year

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi Mags, many thanks for stopping by and glad that you enjoyed the hub. Aren't kids just the best? I think that it's because they're not trying to be funny, their answers, to them are an honest opinion and that's what makes them so awesome and funny!

  • Crazy Mags profile image

    Crazy Mags 5 years ago

    I was checking out some of your hubs. This one is awesome. I LOVE hearing a child's take on things.

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    LOL!! Hi Perspycacious - your grandson's thinking is wonderful and it made me laugh! The way kids think and decide why things are they way they is amazing! I could listen to them all day and still wouldn't be bored!

    Many thanks for the visit and for taking the time to comment.

  • Perspycacious profile image

    Demas W Jasper 5 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

    My grandson Noah during his father's questions and answers about Christmas symbols said he knew why we have candy canes on the Christmas tree: "It's so the reindeer will have something to eat!" So much for animal husbandry in our family!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hello Cyndi10,

    Lovely to hear from you and glad that you enjoyed the hub! The world through a child's eyes is fascinating and as you say 'fun'!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi jami - hey! many thanks for sharing the hub - what a nice thing to do!!! Many thanks. Glad that you enjoyed these words of wisdom from our small kids - they cheer me up no end!

  • Cyndi10 profile image

    Cynthia B Turner 5 years ago from Georgia

    What a fun ride through Christmas in a child's eyes. Thanks for sharing.

  • profile image

    jami l. pereira 5 years ago

    Absolutely adorable Hub ! I loved it ! I voted up and up all the way across the board and i shared it too! couldn't resist ! lol Have a great night ! :)

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi ktrapp,

    Lovely to hear from you and many thanks for leaving a such a nice comment.

    I think if there is one thing guranteed to cheer most of us up at any time of the year, is the wisdom of young kids!! I could listen to them all day and never get bored!!

  • ktrapp profile image

    Kristin Trapp 5 years ago from Illinois

    I thoroughly enjoyed this hub! Children are wonderful and their honesty (at least at the young age from which the quotes came) is incredibly sweet.

    ~voted up and beautiful~

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi Talisker! Oh that is so sweet about your little girl! Don't little kids just have the complete, innocent knack of making this world so much brighter? I love them at about the age of 2-6 in particular. I love the way they think about things, the way the say things and their honesty - even if their honesty can, at times, make you squirm just a little!! LOL!

    Glad that you enjoyed the hub and many thanks for visiting!!

  • Talisker profile image

    Honor Meci 5 years ago from UK

    A lovely festive hub. My little girl said yesterday "Where is Jesus right now? I want to cuddle him"

    (she's only 3)

  • Seeker7 profile image
    Author

    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi A_J,

    I think we can all trust kids to come out and say the thing we would least expect and they are so honest about it!!! I think that's what makes, young kids in particular, so funny!

    Many thanks for the vote up!

  • Admiral_Joraxx profile image

    Admiral_Joraxx 5 years ago from Philippines

    Haha! This was one great idea Seeker7. Great effort of collecting these answers. They made good impression on what kids think about christmas. It also helps them develop their reasoning skills. 1 voted up, beautiful and interesting. =)

  • Seeker7 profile image
    Author

    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi Frank - lovely to hear from you and what a wonderful comment - 'up and great like frosted flakes'! Fabulous! LOL! Glad that you enjoyed the hub and as usual it's always a pleasure to hear from you.

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hello grandampearl, great to hear from you again and glad that you enjoyed the hub! I think we have all puzzled over and giggled over this mysterious crocodile! The imagaination kids have is wonderful!!

  • Frank Atanacio profile image

    Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

    what a creative and entertaining Hub... i think i missed your work... up and great like frosted flakes!

  • grandmapearl profile image

    Connie Smith 5 years ago from Southern Tier New York State

    Thanks for sharing this wonderful Hub. I am still chuckling about the crocodile! Loved the photos as well. Great Hub!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hello Sneha Sunny,

    Many thanks for visiting the hub and glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks also for the lovely comment - much appreciated.

  • Sneha Sunny profile image

    Sneha Sunny 5 years ago from India

    I love this..I'm still laughing! Truly incredible!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi itops, lovely to hear from you and glad that you enjoyed the hub!

    Doesn't that poem bring back so many awful memories????LOL!!

    As to the kids - I think what is so funny about what children say is that, they are not trying to be funny, but they are deadly serious about what they are saying! I can't think of anything that cheers me up more than listening to kids thoughts on things - wonderful and yes I agree with you, there is a beauty there as well.

  • itops profile image

    itops 5 years ago from the sea

    Very funny poem! Just when they thought they have everything set that night! Haha.. I particularly liked "I said to my Dad to put paper down for your muddy boots so that Mummy will not get cross about the dirt on the carpet."

    Beautiful and funny hub!

  • Seeker7 profile image
    Author

    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi Rosemay,

    lovely to hear from you as usual and glad that you enjoyed the hub! Kids do have a nack of saying the most wonderful things and chasing the blues away with their funny ideas. I think a few of us have also wondered about where on earth that crocodile came from???? LOL!

    Many thanks for the visit!

  • Rosemay50 profile image

    Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

    I knew I was going to enjoy this as soon as I saw the title. Out of the mouths of babes, just adorable.

    I so enjoyed reading this lighthearted hub. It brought back memories of things my children used to say. I did wonder about that crocodile.

    Wonderful hub

  • Seeker7 profile image
    Author

    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi Movie Master - as always it's a pleasure to hear from you!

    The Crocodile - Yes, I've been trying to work that one out as well. Maybe he just likes to embellish his wee stories for effect. If so, he has made a great job of this one - I wonder if he'll grow up to be an author!LOL! I would dearly have loved to ask that wee boy where it came from!

    Glad that you enjoyed the read!

  • Seeker7 profile image
    Author

    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi Eiddwen,

    Lovely to hear from you and glad that you enjoyed the hub!

    Aren't kids phenomenal!!! Quite a few of mine are favourites, but if pushed I think I would go for the one where the Angel Gabriel is describes as a 'big white fairy'! I just about fell off my chair when I first read that!!

    Many thanks for the vote up - much appreciated!!

  • Movie Master profile image

    Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

    What a wonderful uplifting hub and fabulous photos, I wonder where Martin got the crocodile from?!

    Voting up, thank you for sharing.

  • Seeker7 profile image
    Author

    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi SusieQ42,

    Many thanks for stopping by and glad that you enjoyed the hub.

    I don't have kids of my own unfortunately, but I do have nieces and nephews. So come Christmas, I'm still at the stage of helping my sisters and brother-in-laws to read through those terrifying 'how to assemble' manuals! I had two blisters, three broken nails and several cuts on my fingers last year - I'm not looking forward to this year!!!! I keep hoping that none of the presents will need assembled, but I think I hope in vain! LOL!

  • Seeker7 profile image
    Author

    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi Hollie! Great to hear from you.

    Glad that you enjoyed the hub! Isn't it typical that the poor Mum's always get delegated to do the washing jobs! I would love to know what that Mum's private thoughts were when she read her kids letter!!LOL!

    Many thanks for the visit!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hello robie2, lovely to hear from you and glad that you enjoyed the hub. There isn't much that does get me into the Christmas spirit. But I have to say that kids defiantely do it for me! LOL!

  • Eiddwen profile image

    Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

    •Danny - 7 years - "I know for his birthday Jesus got money and gold but I would have given him a Liverpool football kit."

    This was indeed my favourite but they were all great so thanks for sharing.

    I vote up up and away!!

    Eiddwen.

  • profile image

    SusieQ42 5 years ago

    Great hub! I loved it. It brings back so many wonderful memories of when my kids were little. Putting bikes and trikes together, going crazy trying to figure out the directions. Thanks for sharing.

  • robie2 profile image

    Roberta Kyle 5 years ago from Central New Jersey

    what a lovely, original Christmas hub. Thanks for getting me in the spirit of the season.

  • Seeker7 profile image
    Author

    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hi Gypsy,

    As usual it's lovely to hear from you. Glad that you enjoyed the hub and that it gave you a chuckle!! What would this world be without kids!! Maybe a lot quieter but not nearly so much fun!!

  • Hollie Thomas profile image

    Hollie Thomas 5 years ago from United Kingdom

    Hi Seeker7,

    That was hilarious. I loved the way one child volunteered her mothers services to do Santa's laundry. :)

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hello dilipchandra12, Thanks for stopping by to read the hub and glad that you enjoyed it. I did enjoy writing this one - kids always have a knack of saying the most wonderful and unexpected things!!LOL!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hello Jo_Goldsmith11, many thanks for dropping by and glad that you enjoyed the hub. I have to say that the photograph you mention is one of my favourites as well. It's so natural and just so typical of what a young child would do! It still warms my heart and makes me smile when I look at it!

  • Seeker7 profile image
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    Helen Murphy Howell 5 years ago from Fife, Scotland

    Hello Charlotte,

    Lovely to hear from you and glad that you enjoyed the hub - I really enjoyed writing this. Kids have such a nack of making even the most dreary of days a very happy one!!

  • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

    Gypsy Rose Lee 5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

    That was terrific. I'm still chuckling. Loved this hub.

  • dilipchandra12 profile image

    Dilip Chandra 5 years ago from India

    So cute hub.. hahaha enjoyed reading, thanks for sharing :)

  • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

    Jo_Goldsmith11 5 years ago

    How wonderfully put together! I have saved it and shared. I love the picture of the baby trying to hang up the stocking. too cute! I voted this up! What a treasure.

    Happy holidays and blessings! :)

  • Charlotte B Plum profile image

    Charlotte B Plum 5 years ago

    How funny! I really enjoyed this, and the best part was the letters to santa and what they taught about the angel.