Children Say The Funniest Things About Christmas!
Children have a natural talent for being humorous
"Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said." ~Author Unknown
Children have the most extraordinary gift for giving answers that you least expect. Not only that but they often so serious about their replies that it makes their responses even more humorous.
Adult comediennes struggle for years to make people laugh – children can do it without even trying.
This article is made up from quotes gathered over a number of years by various sources. They are all from primary school children aged between 4 and 7 years in the UK.
However, these children’s quotes could be from any child anywhere in the world!
Funny scenes from a school nativity play
Children say what you least expect
“The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed.” ~ Author Unknown
Children’s responses to questions on the Nativity are, to put it mildly, unique.
Children were asked about Mary and Joseph:
Debbie - 4 years - "Jesus's Mummy and Daddy are called Mary and Jovis."
Jake - 6 years - "Jesus's parents were gods".
Children's responses to the Three Wise Men:
Jason - 5 years - "The three wise men brought Jesus presents of gold and silver. But I think he would have preferred wrestling toys."
Danny - 7 years - "I know for his birthday Jesus got money and gold but I would have given him a Liverpool football kit."
David - 6 years - "I don't know what the wise men brought Jesus but I would have given him a tin of biscuits. I think Mary and Joseph would have all liked a biscuit."
Danielle - 5 years - "They brought Jesus gold and myrrh but I would have brought him a nice warm blanket."
Rob - age 6 - "The wise men brought gold stuff for Jesus but a Lego set would have been better."
Susie - 5 years - "The three wise men brought Jesus gold, scent and silver - no real presents. I feel sorry for him."
Vicky - 6 years - "When he was born three kings brought him gold coins and a sheep."
The Animals of the Christmas Stable
“Children see magic because they look for it.” Christopher Moore, Author.
When children were asked what animals were present in the stable where Jesus was born, here are some of the answers:
Martin - 6 years: "There were sheep, horses and a crocodile outside the stable."
Rebecca - 5 years: "In the stable there were oxens, a donkey, three camels, three birds - all white - and three cats, all black."
Harriet - 7 years: "There was a donkey, sheep and a cow there, and Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus. Other people came too but I don’t know how they all fitted in.”
Megan - 5 years: "I think there were big cows, a bird, a rabbit and a man with a sheep.”
Sasha - 6 years: "There were camels, donkeys and cows around the stable and the wise men went to the manger to say hello to Jesus as well."
Questions answered about the stable itself:
Alex - 5 years - "Baby Jesus was born in a stable made out of hay with string around it."
Lindsay - 7 years - "He was born in a stable where Mary and Joseph stayed. There were chickens, cows and a donkey. I don't remember any more."
David - 4 years - "He was born in a stable a long way away from here in another country. Bethlehem - it's in England."
Elle - 5 years - "Jesus was born in the stable - it had lots of hairs."
Jasmine - 6 years - "Jesus was born in a barn, a shed or barn anyway, or it might have been a stable, one of the three."
Children and Christmas beliefs
“Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” - Bill Cosby
What children had to say about the Star of Bethlehem:
Jacqueline - 7 years - "They followed a special Christmas Star - it only comes out at Christmas time.”
Josh - 6 years - "They followed a star to find Jesus, it's a very special star, but I forgot the rest."
Elaine - 6 years - "They followed a star. It was really bright like the sun, even at night.”
What children said about Jesus:
Jane - 6 years - "Jesus was a king and he wore a crown even though he was a baby. It was a really small crown.”
Lisa - 5 years - "Jesus was a baby king - but there were lots of kings, so he wasn't the only one.”
Karrie - 6 years - Jesus is really old, but not when he was a baby, but I don't know how old he is, maybe Nana would know?"
Jamie - 7 years - "Jesus is a mystery man."
Robbie - 6 years - "Jesus is a baby God or something."
The Archangel Gabriel:
Devon - 5 years - "The Angel Gabriel is a fairy that God sent to help us."
Katie - 6 years - "I don't know who the angel is but I like Jesus."
John - 7 years - "Gabriel was this kind of angel. He was a boy but he's played by a girl in the Christmas plays."
Kim - 6 years - "The Angel Gabriel is a big white fairy. He helped Mary and Joseph to look after the baby - kind of like a doctor."
Zoe - 6 years - "There was also an angel called Gabriel, whose favourite thing was to fly around all day."
Peter - 7 years - "Angel Gabriel was also there and he has yellow wings and a white costume. He doesn't say much."
Children's Letters To Santa
“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” Phyllis Diller
Children will write the most amazing things to Father Christmas. The following quotes were taken from Santa letters by children, between 5 and 7 years of age:
- "I know I behaved really badly this year, but I promise to behave much better next year - so will it be okay if you still come and visit me with presents?"
- "Do you just have the one set of clothes? Who washes them for you? My mum can do it if you don't have a Mum of your own?"
- "Can Mrs Santa come instead? I'm very sorry but I'm scared of you!"
- "Could you make me prettier than my best friend? That's the only present I would like."
- "Do you have to clean up Rudolph's poo poos? My Dad uses a bag when our dog poo poos - do you have bags?"
- "If I wake up please don't go away without leaving presents - you made a lot of noise last year and I couldn't help it, I heard and my eyes just kind of opened! But you left nice presents. Please can you do the same again even if my eyes open up?"
- "Don't worry if Jack our dog barks! He doesn't mean to be bad. Making a bark is just what dogs do. So please leave the presents anyway. If you are very, very scared to come in if Jack barks then could you just leave the presents outside?"
- "I said to my Dad to put paper down for your muddy boots so that Mummy will not get cross about the dirt on the carpet."
- "Mummy will leave out biscuits and milk for you but you have to share with the reindeers as well. They must be very hungry."
Do you have the same Christmas traditions now as you had as a child?
A cheering poem for mums and dads.
I hope you have enjoyed this little excursion into the minds of our wonderful kids! To end the hub here's a poem I found that may help to relieve the stress of hard worked mums and dads everywhere.
Parent's night before Christmas
"Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."
The children were quiet, asleep in their beds,
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!
We opened the boxes; my heart skipped a beat…
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
if we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!
When, what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.
More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand.
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
that all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
to keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
with "assembly required" till morning's first light.
We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
and not have to run to the store for a thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
for the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"
Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went.
Though I suppose I should not have become so self-deluded -
I'd forgotten that batteries are never included!
From Website - Funny Poems & Funny Poets
© 2011 Helen Murphy Howell