ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Halloween Workout: It will make you Drop Dead!

Updated on September 29, 2011
pumpkins for the Halloween workout
pumpkins for the Halloween workout | Source

Every day you turn around and there's a brilliant new workout that will change your life. You know the new workouts that look similar to yours but are tweaked in a few spots and claim that it will solve those problem areas you've had all your life in a matter of a few weeks...Who knows some of them might actually work but most of them probably won't. So why not come up with my own workout. Halloween's coming up so i've decided to launch the Halloween workout!

There's a few things you need before attempting this workout, of course checking with your doctor is always great, you don't want to keel over too quickly, Halloween's no fun if your dead, or it it?...

Things you need:

  • Pumpkins varying in weight
  • Bags of Candy
  • Pillowcases
  • multiple costumes
  • a masked killer, preferably carrying some kind of deadly weapon, say a chainsaw or machete
  • An old house if you can, or dark alley way but the woods work great as well
  • cemetery with medium size headstones

Mike Myers from the movie Halloween is a good choice for masked killer, virtually unstoppable and he's slow but persistet, a great workout buddy!
Mike Myers from the movie Halloween is a good choice for masked killer, virtually unstoppable and he's slow but persistet, a great workout buddy! | Source
pillowcases full of candy for cool down in the Halloween Workout
pillowcases full of candy for cool down in the Halloween Workout | Source

The Halloween Workout

  • Start the workout with a brief warm up fo cardio, take the multiple costumes you've collected and change in and out of them as quick as possbile! Put on the freddy Kruger hat, the ugly red and green sweater. Then take it off, now put on the pirate costume with the eye patch, the hook for a hand and the boots! Now take it off and put on the witches costume, the one with the black dress, the cape, and the witches hat. Then take it off and put your regular outfit on. Did you break a sweat yet?
  • Next a little bit of lifting, take your pumpkins (remember don't hold them just from the stem!! hold the bottom as well) Take the prefer sized pumpkin and lift it straight up in front of you 3 sets of 13 reps.
  • Take a quick break (have a mini candy bar, those small ones everyone hands out on Halloween) sip some apple cider.
  • Now back to the pumpkins, this time your going to hold the pumpkin straight out in front of you and do squats. 3 sets of 13 reps
  • Place pumpkin down (remember if you smash it you cant carve your jack o lantern!)
  • Back to cardio! for a quick warm up run through the cementary, use the headstones as hurdles!
  • Once your warmed up call up your Masked killer and ask him/her/it to meet you at the old house, alley way or woods (your preference). When the killer gets to the location egg him on with some sarcastic joke, once you get him angry start running!
  • Run as fast as you can through the woods, jumping over tree stumps; in the house up the stairs; or in the alley dodging old trash cans.
  • As your running make and effort to fall, this will cause your momentum to slow and heart rate to speed up. Suggestions include trip going up the stairs in the old house, or fall down a hill in the woods, or if in the alley way try to get disoriented.
  • Now the final stage of the workout, the fight to the death. Once the masked killer catches up to you (corners you in the upstairs closet, grabs you right at the end of the alley where people are walking by clueless, or you some how end up in the killer's deranged camp in the middle of the woods) its time to face the music its the killer or you.
  • To get the most out of the fight don't go down easy, various movements from kicking, screaming, scratching, and even tackling will give you a decent workout. Don't worry about hurting the masked killer for some reason they don't feel the pain and rarely die.
  • The longer the fight the better the work. If your still alive at the end, good for you! move on to the final cool down. If you didn't make it pass the masked killer, I'm sorry but you didn't work hard enough!
  • Final cool down, grab some pillowcases and fill them up with all the candy you can fit in them, now do brief sprints dragging the pillowcases behind you, perhaps running from one neigbor's house to the next?
  • when your done with this your workout is complete and your ready for Halloween!


This workout can be intense, the possible results of this workout include death, dismemberment and being scared to death. Other side effects include the over consumption of candy and the squashing of pumpkins! Finally, if you've gotten this far into the hub I hope you know its a satire and not meant for a real workout! Happy Halloween!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • BWD316 profile imageAUTHOR

      Brian Dooling 

      7 years ago from Connecticut

      I'm glad it made you laugh Jt! as for the 30hubs in 30 day challenge, im 1/10th of the way there lol, have 3 hubs done, i plan on catching up later in the week, most of my classes are early in the week and mess up my writing for hubpages lol thanks for asking

    • JT Walters profile image

      JT Walters 

      7 years ago from Florida

      This Made Me LOL,

      Great hub!! How are you doing on your 3o hubs in 30 days challenge?


    • Marsha H profile image

      Marsha H 

      7 years ago from My Retro Kitchen in NY

      Personally, I prefer the over consumption of candy to calling my Masked Killer.

      Thanks for the giggle. :D

    • BWD316 profile imageAUTHOR

      Brian Dooling 

      7 years ago from Connecticut

      Thanksfor the comment Brett, im glad you thought it was funny! the idea dawned on me recently but I wasn't sure how it would come across on hubpages, im glad at least one person found it funny lol

    • Brett.Tesol profile image

      Brett Caulton 

      7 years ago from Asia

      Funny hub!

      When I saw the title, it just made me curious as to what they had come out with this time!? There really does seem to be a workout for every holiday, but this is the first one I've seen for Halloween ... certainly more interesting that dancing in front of a TV lol.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)