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This Just In For The Holidays

Updated on November 5, 2009


Look, I was in retail sales for a good portion of life and I also worked in Marketing so I get that in order to get people to buy stuff sometimes you have to make them think that they can’t live without it and that there’s urgency to buy it right now. You know, it’s all that, “and we’ll double the offer if you call in the next ten minutes” with the clock ticking down in the lower right hand corner of the television screen or “only available for the first hundred callers.”So I get it but when I recently saw an ad for a tub that has a tall side wall with a swing out door for handicapped people and heard the following, I just shook my head, “This just in for the holidays” – Don’t Get Me Started!

I guess if you have an elderly person who has everything and you don’t know what to get them, perhaps a tub that you sit in like a Mini Cooper is a great holiday gift but on the whole I’m thinking if I was that elderly person I wouldn’t be jumping up and down (maybe because I’d break a hip) if that’s what you got me for the holidays. There’s no putting a big red bow around a “handicapable” tub (unless of course you’re one of the Extreme Home Makeover team) to the best of my knowledge and while I appreciate that the people selling it are in business to make money, come on is it really a great holiday gift? I think it’s a great holiday gift along the same lines as tampons or peanut brittle.

I understand that the economy is in trouble and that no matter how much people say that it’s improving, the fact of the matter is that for most it isn’t. Perhaps it’s because I live in the foreclosure capitol of the world, Las Vegas that I seem to feel as though things are not getting as better as quickly as some would try to make us believe. But that aside, I’m sure that while she may not be selling as much as she once did, I’m sure that Joan Rivers is still selling many a bee brooch on QVC. Perhaps the idea is to not change your marketing strategy as much as it is where you sell it? With people becoming more and more reliant on supposed, “Social Networking” sites for a social life and are more inclined to pick up their phone to text you as opposed to call you. Perhaps if we really want to get the economy back on its feet will start selling everything to people sitting (or lying) on their couch. If they can try to sell us Viagra and other drugs on television are we really that far away from people trying to sell us everything from clothes to vegetables?

I remember last year I was going to buy everyone on my list a “Snuggie” (not the pull your underwear up until your nuts are in your mouth variety of snuggie that I used to get in school but those farchacta hospital gowns made out of fleece that they are now selling in camouflage and for your pets). I was going to do this because honestly, the people I know all have everything they need so it was going to be like a joke type gift and let’s face it they were two for $19.99 so it seemed perfect. Who knew they were going to become the new Chia Pet? (Although to be honest they’re better than the Chia Pet because these things are now sold all year round but who knows maybe the Chia Pet is too.) So I get it when they say that this is the “perfect holiday gift” but a tub?

Someone once wrote into me on my website that I shouldn’t be so critical of people selling things (I think this was when I wrote a blog about being offended that my dentist was trying to sell me a $400 toothbrush while keeping me captive in a chair completely reclined and with a paper bib around my neck) the person who wrote in said that I shouldn’t be critical of people selling stuff because I was after all selling myself too. I guess the difference for me is that I make very little to no money off of this site which is really stupid when you think about it. Maybe it’s time for me to rethink and reinvent myself. Maybe I need to figure out a way to charge people to read and watch my rants. And maybe I need to do it soon so that it will be “this just in for the holidays” – Don’t Get Me Started!

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