Valentines Day: A look at my heart
Valentines day is, as we all know, a very commercial holiday.
I was lying in bed last night, thinking of all the people out there who are just like me. A good person, living a good life, without a romantic partner. We see T.V. ads, billboards, hearts, doves, and love poems all around us in February. The shopping malls and food chains bombard us with reminders that we have no one to shower our romantic love on. I give tons of love to my family, friends and online friends. In this hub, I am talking about someone whom you call sweet heart or darling. At my age, I know the romantic love does not last very long and relationships lose fiz or can lose momentum after the honeymoon stage. I think we need to teach our kids that love can never make us whole, only enhance who we are, if we are with the right person.
I love,love, don't get me wrong, but it can hurt to view all the images and know we will not be held in the arms of the one we love ,in front of a fire, eating chocolates or getting a nice piece of jewelry or love poem from our love. Wow, I must be lonely. My lonely girl button just got pushed. I do miss having that special someone to love. Writing is such a healing process because you never know where it's going to take you.
I think men are wonderful, most of them. I think most human beings are good. I will say for the record, after leaving an abusive marriage, I find I have not been tainted in thinking men are like my ex. In fact, now I can see very clearly how great many of my own friends husbands are and the like. My therapist was very proud of the fact that my love and zest for life did not die with my crumbled marriage. I learned that I had Stockholm syndrome with my ex. Just google that one, since that is a whole other story. I have always been in love with love. My sweet father used to say, " Laura, you idealize love and men". He was right, I was so naive. I think many of us girls have been taught and socialized that love will sweep us off our feet. I have learned how great it is to stand on my own two feet. My kids see how independent I am. I hope I am role- modeling a strong independent woman. I have always believed in the good of human kind and can see it in everyone no matter how evil they are. I believe that is what saved me when the man I loved, the father of my children, terrorized me.
I used to write poems to my love Billy, who I have written about here on hub pages. He was my soul mate and true love. He still comes to me from heaven when I am down and out. He used to write the most amazing poems and notes to me. I have an entire drawer full of them. I will never throw them away. In fact, I put pictures above on this hub, of the letters Billy gave me throughout our relationship. My heart feels really heavy for some reason as I write this.
Lets think of creative ways we can share all the love we have to give to others this Valentines day. Maybe writing a thank- you note to someone who is lonely or someone we care about that we haven't connected with for a while. Sending chocolates to a friend or co-worker. Helping an elderly person or neighbor by shoveling their snow or mowing their lawn. Perhaps we can babysit for a friend that needs to get out or is short on cash. We could help someone at the grocery store or volunteer at a charity event that gives you passion.
"one kind action never stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves."
- Amelia Earhart
© Laura Rogers Arne
Do you think men and women have been socialized different in terms of expectations in relationships?
- History of Valentines Day
The History of Valentine's day originates from the fourth century B.C, and might have stemmed to curb a cruel practice. Learn the origin and history of this universally loved love festival.