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Valentines Day Gifts with Real Romance

Updated on January 13, 2011

Valentine's Day

The words bring dread into the heart of any well-meaning Romeo. You’re thinking “What do I get her? How much money do I have to spend? Should I take her out? Where? What should we do? Do I have to get dressed up? Why do I have to do this at all? Valentine’s Day is stupid! However, if I can get lucky…maybe it’s worth it.” Is that accurate?

Of course there are the classic gifts like flowers, jewelry, and chocolate. There’s nothing wrong with them. But they don’t scream “original” and often aren’t very “personal” which is what we all want our Romeo to be. Girls of any age melt over gifts that are thoughtful (meaning you thought a lot about her) and have a little zing. Those are the best gifts, the gifts with real romance, and often they cost next to nothing. Interested?

Valentine Gifts with Real Romance

This brings me to...toilette paper. Really. Toilette paper. Now, just hang with me a while longer and you'll see why toilette paper is a gift with real romance.

Recently, I was part of on-going dialog on Facebook with some fabulous women concerning toilette paper. My niece started it.

Michele: is amazed that a family of 4 can go through a whole role of toilet paper in 24 hours!! Oh, and no one else in the house knows how to change the roll ;)

Jera: I know your family…Not so amazed! ;D

Amy: seriously? Unless it’s the gigantic triple roll or something…don’t be surprised! Lol Jera, you are so mean! Ha ha

Margaretta: sounds oh so familiar

Don: Oh, %^&*t! <Brave man to insert his comment in this conversation. Don was ignored.>

Ruth: I keep a decorative basket full of t.p. next to the tub in reach of the toilet, because like you I am the only one who seems to know how to change the roll and I would always be the one stuck in a precarious situation lol ;o)

Jera: Well, Amy, I'm actually surprised that the roll lasted as long as it did!! :D. Ruth, I do the same thing!!!!! I don't even mess with a holder... I just do the basket thing in all the bathrooms!

Michele: We use the double rolls!! you all are very funny lol!!!l

Amy: we are all funny! and I just set the roll on the cart in the bathroom! Meghan will sometimes put the roll on the holder .. backwards. I say it needs to roll over and she puts it under. I'm kinda OCD about that .. I actually change the way it rolls at other people's houses! ha ha Jera, I know you will be laughing at me for that!

Jera: Heck yea I'm laughin'. Backwards?!?! What the heck woman, ya can't put a roll on backwards! Do you also put your socks on the wrong feet???? Lmao!

Amy: ha ... sometimes ... depends on whether that sock has a hole in it or not! ha ha ha

Jera: :)

Stacey: My college roomie still flips my toilet paper roll if i dont have it on the "right" its for your a**...does it really matter which way it rolls?

Jera: Lol.... Good one... And Amy... If I ever brave your house.. Which I doubt 'cause of the snake... I'm flippin' the roll!!

Michele: flippin the roll is NO JOKE!!! it needs to go over the a** knows which way it rolls

Me: 15 comments, really?

Ann: I was thinking about making a comment that we already knew how full of crap you were... =-)

Jera: @ Val..we are bored women, nothing else to do..and look, we got you to post on it! know Michele so well!!! :)

Me: I am inspired. I may just blog about it.

Elizabeth: lol we go through a lot too. we are a pooping family lol


And on it goes.  Despite what Jera says, these are not “bored women”. These are beautiful, vibrant women who deserve to be wooed by their husbands and cherished by their children and for most of them (I think not for Jera or Stacey) having the toilette paper in the right place at the right time and hanging the right direction is a priority in their life!

Armed with this valuable information, here’s what I propose as the ultimate Valentines Day gift with Real Romance:

  • A coupon good for a year’s worth of "I, Romeo, will make sure there is toilette paper in the right place at the right time and hanging in the right direction for my Juliette without her ever having to say a word". Place your coupon in a carefully chosen romantic (or humorous) card and strategically leave it in your bathroom for her to find on Valentine’s Day.

If you are certain toilette paper is not an issue with your Juliette, think of something that is and make a coupon for it.

  • Putting away the dishes
  • Taking out the garbage
  • Laundry
  • Cat litter/dog poo clean-up
  • Filling up her gas tank
  • Making the bed
  • Putting the seat down (we’re back in the bathroom again)

photo by athewma
photo by athewma

The key is to mean it!

If you make this commitment, you better follow through. You will need to do the deed every time it needs done and without her ever having to mention it. But if you do, be prepared to be loved, cherished and to get lucky. A small price to pay, eh?

Remember, love is not a noun. It is a verb. Love requires action. Show her with your actions that you love her…with toilette paper. Or, fly her to Paris, your choice.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

The wonderful, crazy things people when they are in love


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    • profile image

      Michele 7 years ago


      You are awesome! I love this!! Glad "us ladies" could inspire you :) You are completely life, the simple things are important...not the material things!!! And this conversation still makes me laugh!!!

    • pigfish profile image

      pigfish 7 years ago from Southwest Ohio


      So glad you like since you and your friends were the inspiration! Happy Valentine's Day!

      Val a.k.a. pigfish

    • Hannah Ministries profile image

      Hannah Ministries 7 years ago

      Hallo, I loved this piece!!! Now you forgot to mention how I can get my husband to read

      thanks for your funny writings. It inspires me. Actually I decide to make exactly this gift for him with; "I promise to make sure the kitchen in clean every night before going to bed." Hu, the problem is that the 3th night I will be on my computer until the middle of the night and go than to bed and not to the kitchen!. And the problem is i really love him, still don;t care enough about the kitchen.

    • pigfish profile image

      pigfish 7 years ago from Southwest Ohio

      Getting my husband to read my Hubs is my "toilette paper". Haha! I love that you are making toilette-paper-type promises to your husband instead of vice versa. Goes both ways. I have a feeling that you are a people person more than a cleanliness person. As my mom always said "Our home is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy."

    • profile image

      Ohio2NH 7 years ago

      Your piece had me laughing all the way through. I do change the roll in the master bath if the hubby has put it to roll in the under position. I think it is easier to grab it in the 'roll over' position in the middle of the night without the light on! LOL As for Valentine's Day HE already makes the bed and does the dishes ater I have made the meal. He claims that I love to use as many pots and pans that I can just so he has to wash them. I do all of his shopping and wash so it balances out. So EVERY day is Valentine's Day for me.

    • pigfish profile image

      pigfish 7 years ago from Southwest Ohio

      Well then, Ohio2NH, sounds like you can move past toilette paper to a real "Valentines Day Gift with Real Romance". ;0) Lucky you!

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