Valentine's Day Gifts to Avoid
Valentine's Day has great expectations. Your Significant Other, especially if she's female, expects a gift from you. Sometimes even if February 14th occurs not far after your first (or third) date, she'll expect one, making it even harder.
Here are few VD gifts to avoid if at all possible. I suppose sometimes all you have is the drug store or the convenience store to shop, because you forgot until you got half-way home from work. But that will be as obvious as a neon blinking sign. A six-pack of Bud Lite will guarantee no sex that night and possibly a stint on the Aerobed instead.
1) The quintessential vacuum cleaner. Or any item that is used to clean the house. But a vacuum cleaner is the worst insult of all to both her and her housekeeping, it shows no imagination (duh), and is about as romantic as a rock. Sometimes the cliches on TV are lessons in life.
2) A nose/ear hair clipper. Oh so insulting to personal hygiene, unromantic, and kind of mean, if you think about it. Avoid at all costs. Even if he (or she?) has mentioned buying one him/herself.
3) Red roses. Florists mark the prices up 50% for the days before Valentine's Day, did you know? Because they can, and because they know it's a hugely popular gift and its obviously cliche. If there's another flower that is really relevant to your relationship, you could probably get away with flowers of some other kind, but it needs to remind the giftee of a special event or place.
4) Chocolates. Life may me be a like a box of chocolates, but for Valentine's Day they're a clue to a quick stop at CVS on the way home from work. Twizzlers might be a better choice. Or one of those "As seen on TV" products like a Ped Egg or Tool Band-It.
5) A gym membership. Again it's insulting; he or she will never go, which means you've not only pointed out the extra pounds that might be hanging around, there's the guilt factor about the fact that he/she never goes. Way to go, that's a great way to show your love!
6) And many might not agree but...Victoria's Secret lingerie. First off, their underwear sucks, you'll get the size wrong, somehow she'll think you did it with the salesgirl, and you aren't a good judge of what she likes. A gift certificate to Agent Provocateur or if you're on a budget, a gift card to a department store with a hand-made suggestion that it be redeemed in the lingerie department is so much better.
7) A tie. He'll see it as a noose, even if he wears one five days a week. It's impersonal, and it will remind him of work, and there will be some fleeting thought in his mind that you want to tie him down, and not in the fun way.
8) A meal at a chain restaurant using your two-for-one coupon. And if you're a girl and this is a special "Sadie Hawkins" night out that you pay for, this applies, too. A home-cooked meal would be 100% better.
So, be creative, mark your calendar and don't forget, avoid gifts encouraging personal improvement, and you'll be just fine, and the night will be great, and will hopefully end with every couple happy in bed, hopefully the two of you in one bed.