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13 Signs You Don't Know How to Properly Decorate a Christmas Tree

Updated on December 5, 2011
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing for over 7 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—anything from hamsters to office work.

Oh Christmas Tree!

It is Christmas time again and it is time to decorate the Christmas tree. This is a time-honored tradition that many families enjoy each year. It doesn't matter if you prefer live trees or an artificial tree; a Christmas tree can be beautiful no matter which kind you purchase for your home. Of course, every now and then, we see a tree that has issues. In these rare cases, someone clearly does not know how to properly decorate a Christmas tree.

Christmas trees, in general, are not too difficult to decorate. It is all about finding ornaments that are not too big for a small tree, or ornaments not too small for an enormous tree. Also, a fair amount of lights should go around the tree, but don't overdo it. It is easy to find trees that are pre-lit now, so that is something I would highly recommend for anyone buying an artificial tree. Don't forget to put the garland on FIRST before putting on the ornaments, too. Hopefully, these basic hints will get most folks through the Christmas tree decorating experience. However, for those who have bigger issues, let's discuss some signs that you don't know how to properly decorate a Christmas tree.

The 13 Signs You Don't Know How to Properly Decorate a Christmas Tree:

  1. Live kittens do not go on a Christmas tree. If your tree is meowing, you are not decorating it correctly.
  2. It is perfectly acceptable to put candy canes on the tree. However, don't unwrap them first. There is a reason why there are bugs on your Christmas tree now.
  3. Artificial trees do not require any water. This is especially the case if the twinkling little lights are plugged in.
  4. The angel goes on top of the tree. She does not lounge in the middle of the tree. Christmas angels do not nap in trees.
  5. The Christmas tree is not supposed to lean at an angle to the side. If you've put all the heavy decorations on one side of the tree, you are going to have this issue.
  6. Keep the lights turned on while you are stringing them around the tree. The last thing you want is one bulb to blow out after you put every single decoration on the tree.
  7. In general, ornaments that sing Christmas carols are annoying. This is not necessarily funny or a sign that you don't know how to properly decorate the tree; this is just something I wanted to share with the world. It just seems important.
  8. When someone asks you to put the icicles on the tree, it did not mean go outside and find real icicles. The same goes if someone asks you to find a snowman to put on the tree, too.
  9. Beer cans hanging from paper clips are not real decorations no matter what your Cousin Earl tells you.
  10. A partridge in a pear tree is just a line from a song. Don't find a partridge for the tree; it is a pine tree anyway, not a pear tree.
  11. The star on the top of the tree should not lean. Also, it should be secure on the tree. When that thing falls down on someone's head, no one is having a merry Christmas.
  12. If you can't see the tree because it is weighted down with decorations, you probably did not decorate the tree properly. For that matter, you may want to check to make sure you have a tree at all rather than a pile of decorations and ornaments sitting in the corner.
  13. You've connected so many strings of lights together, a fire safety inspector would condemn your tree if he happened to see it.

Comments

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  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I am glad I could make you smile. Yes, sometimes you do have to wonder what is going on with some Christmas trees. I tend to overdo it myself. Thanks for the comment!

  • RTalloni profile image

    RTalloni 

    7 years ago from the short journey

    He, he, he - thanks for the ho, ho, ho to make us smile.

    Sometimes, looking at a decorated Christmas tree, one has to wonder... maybe the person can't see well, or they have something serious on their mind, or maybe they did indeed let the children decorate it, and if so, Merry Christmas to them! :)

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Oh, those are all so true! I suppose the children question is really an insult to an adult that decorated a tree on their own. Hehehe. Thanks for sharing!

  • Sue Bond profile image

    Sue Bond 

    7 years ago from Vancouver, BC

    Signs you have a cat... your tree is secured to the wall with string and there are only ornaments on the top half.

    Another sign that you don't know how to decorate a Christmas tree... your friends ask if you had little kids do it for you (and you don't have little kids).

    and one more....

    You butter the popcorn before making a string of garland. It's not like candy necklaces that you can eat while you're wearing it. (Though that just leads to a sticky neck.) Wait until you remove it from the tree.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    This is so true, kittens do turn into cats. The same problem goes with puppies, too. Eventually, they turn into dogs. Thanks for the comment!

  • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

    Justin W Price 

    7 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

    "Live kittens do not go on a Christmas tree. If your tree is meowing, you are not decorating it correctly."

    the problem with kittens is they turn into cats.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Don't worry... I am totally not taking my own advice. My tree looks like it is going to hit the floor any minute with all the stuff on it. Thanks for dropping by!

  • Angie Jardine profile image

    Angie Jardine 

    7 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

    Funny girl, Jeannie ... now I know where I'm going wrong.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    You know, normally nothing says classy more than some beer cans on a tree. Maybe I need to re-think that one. :-)

    Thanks for dropping by! Merry Christmas to you, too!

  • Movie Master profile image

    Movie Master 

    7 years ago from United Kingdom

    Hi Jeannie, this is so funny, thank you for sharing your wonderful sense of humour!

    I am a bit disappointed the beer cans on paper clips are a 'no, no' I always think they look so classy:-)

    Best wishes for a Merry Christmas, MM

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks for the votes! Honestly, I am guilty of over-decorating, but what can you do? Sometimes a lot of stuff needs to go on a small tree. :-) I don't make the other mistakes though. I am waiting for the tree at work to burst into flames anyday now though... way too many lights!

  • kittythedreamer profile image

    Kitty Fields 

    7 years ago from Summerland

    Voted up and funny! Great hub and super entertaining. Hopefully no one out there makes these idiotic mistakes.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile imageAUTHOR

    Jeannie InABottle 

    7 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Alecia Murphy - Yeah, that tree in the picture is mine and you can tell my sense of style just isn't there. Hehehe. That is why I felt I could write this hub. That tiny little tree in my livingroom is drowning under all those decorations.

    Ms Chievous - I know! The beer cans add such a beautiful touch to any tree. Thanks for the vote!

    Esmeowl12 - Glad you enjoyed the hub!

    Thanks everyone, for your comments!

  • Esmeowl12 profile image

    Cindy A Johnson 

    7 years ago from Sevierville, TN

    This was great - I really enjoyed it.

  • Ms Chievous profile image

    Tina 

    7 years ago from Wv

    What do you mean beer cans are not Christmas tree decorations?? lol! Very amusing voted up!

  • Alecia Murphy profile image

    Alecia Murphy 

    7 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

    Yeah, you know some people have definitely have trouble decorating trees. I think it's more of an issue of not knowing what makes sense rather than doing whatever or when all else fails, just watch Martha Stewart home.

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