A Guide To Easter Gifts For Pets
Nellie Thedogski's guide to Easter
Gifts for pets at Easter I hear you say, well let me tell you that as an integral part of the family, all pets (and I begrudgingly include cats...shudder) deserve to be included in any gift giving celebration! We give you the gift of our company and love every day, so the least you can do is reciprocate when there is a holiday and gifts are in the air.
So whilst my expertise is in the dogs world I have put out a few feelers and will suggest a few non canine treats for my fellow masters of their domain (or PETS as you call us).
So here it is, straight from the dogs mouth, Nellie the Dogs guide to Easter gifts for pets.
Intro Photo Credit: The Author. Rest of article: amazon products and individual attribution.
Easter is awash with chocolate, chocolate rabbits, chocolate eggs, chocolate everything. It will also be awash with sick and possibly dead dogs if you feed them chocolate. Chocolate contains both caffeine and theobromine, both of which stimulates a dogs nervous system to the point that everything from vomiting to seizures to death can occur.
I can't state it strongly enough, don't give your dog chocolate, otherwise I will send round one of the boys to chew on your leg! There is an array of much more dog friendly treats you can buy us, so get out your pen and paper and make a note of these yummy treats below. Or even better just click and buy.
Look into my eyes, you feel sleepy and generous towards your dog. Now click.
Photo used under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported
Dog Treats We Just Love
So much better than that sweet, brown poison... Chocolate!
Fish are Family Too
You may think that the goldfish you have swimming about in that glass bowl only has a 10 second memory and is living blissfully unaware of family celebrations such as Easter. Oh how wrong can you be. Goldfish are the elephants of the fish world, they have seen everything you have done and heard everything you have said. Danced around the living room in your underpants, then your goldfish has seen that and you don't want them talking.
So how do you keep your fishy friends happy at Easter? Well I have the perfect gift, a replica Easter Island head. It will appeal the the fishes well developed sense of irony and give them a place to practice those secret fish rituals that you know nothing about.
Hmmm, I have almost said too much. My advice, keep these all seeing, all hearing fish on your side.
More Easter Island Heads
You have been warned, there are 20,000 species of fish in the world and some of them eat people. Keep yours happy.
Easter Pet Costumes
Think cute, with dignity... Or else!
For reasons best known to humans alone, you love to dress up on holidays. I guess if we are going to completely integrate into your celebrations then we too will need to adopt a costume. Your job is to make sure that what ever costume you choose for us maintains our dignity, or more importantly, increases our cuteness quotient exponentially.
The cuter we look, the less you suspect just how much control we have over you. Remember, we know where you live!
Oh and the costume in the picture, well there is a dog that has been stripped of his dignity. Expect a knock on your door if you do this!
Pet Costumes Approved by Nellie The Dog
Angry..like a bird.. Wear a pig costume and there may be trouble.
The stars of the show
When it comes to Easter, bunnies as they like to be known, are truly the stars of the show. Bringers of much joy and chocolate, the Easter Bunnies should be shown due respect. This is their day and as such nothing is too good for them.
Show your love for them by showering them with gifts that will ensure that you get a visit from the king of all the bunnies, Easterious Bunnious as he is known in Latin.
Photo Credit: Wikimedia Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.
All Hail Easter's King
The Birds - Hitchcock knew
You thought that the fish had power and knowledge, well in comparison they pale into insignificance when compared to our feathered friends. Birds fly, birds hunt in flocks, eagles are birds and finally birds can talk. If you have a bird in a cage in your house you had better include them in the Easter festivities, otherwise you could be looking at a re-enactment of Hitchcock's classic, which is actually based on a true story about a man who forgot to include his feathered friends in a celebrational gathering one year.
Remember, birds only stay in their cages whilst you are in the house, when you're not there they watch Oprah and make prank phone calls.
Don't make enemies of a species that included the dinosaurs!
Great Bird Treats for Easter - Don't make us angry. Ask any Pig...
Have you ever noticed that most evil geniuses who end up getting defeated by a British secret agent have a cat as a sidekick?
Have you ever noticed how fat Garfield is?
Have you ever noticed the evil head of HR in Dilbert is a cat?
Have you ever noticed the 4" scar on my friend Ted's face that was caused by a cat?
Enough said. Include them in Easter if you want.
Better still, buy a dog.
Photo used under Wikimedia Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.
The Only Gift a Cat will Ever Need!
Not that a book was necessary to explain this!
Video Proof - That cats are evil
Beware Easter Lilies
Even though cats are my mortal enemies there are just some fates you wouldn't wish on even your worst enemy. Easter Lilies may look lovely, but if any part is ingested by a cat it can kill them. Don't give them to anyone who has made the terrible mistake of having a feline companion.
A reminder to cats.
Send a few of these around to any cats you know, just to remind them that you know, that they know, that you know, that they have their own version of Kryptonite.....Easter Lilies.
And if the answer is no.. start looking over your shoulder. Just a friendly piece of advice, as Fat Tony would say.....