Mother's Day Soon.

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   moonlakeposted 9 years ago

   My mother passed away last week she would have been 93 on the 5th of May. It seems strange not to pick up the phone and talk to her. She was suffering so we were glad to see her go to be with my Dad but also sorry that she was gone.
   

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      lions44posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very sorry about your mom. Regardless of the age, it's always tough. I lost my mom at a young age, but you grieve differently when you're young. You're not thinking about it; can't get perspective.  In many ways, I think it's tougher to go through it as an adult. I really do. My mother in law recently passed, so I have had to help my wife through it.  Feel free to post your memories here. That always helps. Very supportive community on HP.  Wish you the best.

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         moonlakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         lions44 Thank you, it is hard no matter the age. Sorry about the loss of your mom at a young age that had to be hard.

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      RTalloniposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      So sorry for your loss.  Her smiling picture is delightful.  Thank you for sharing it with us.  My mother passed away March 19 and this will be the first Mother's Day after her death.  I had divided trying to care for her from the rest of my life so I could function as normally as possible under the circumstances.  It was 7 years of high stress but I did not realize that the stress after her death would be different.  I think it must have been some sort of post traumatic stress. In March and April I did a few of my regular activities, but resting and praying are what kept me from going under.  Just two weeks ago by God's grace I turned a corner and have improved day by day.  I am feeling much better and I hope you will also be feeling better soon.

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         moonlakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. I know your stress must have been awful after her death. My sister was my mother's caretaker. She is now getting her home cleared out and I know when this is all over she will be in shock. She will no longer call her, stop by her home each day, take her to the doctor and do just about everything for her. She will feel lost.
         I know I was lost after my husband passed away in Dec. suddenly I didn't go to the nursing home each day. I still have trouble driving by it and I haven't been able to go to the cemetery. A so called friend said I should be over it.
         It's been an awful year my husband, my mother and our dog passed away,

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            RTalloniposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            The callousness of that person is just a reflection of ignorance.  You've been through a lot and it will take time to get your bearings again.  Just go one step at a time and only as fast as you must.  Take as much time as you need to do what you have to do in daily tasks.  When you have regained some strength you'll want to be an encouragement to your sister in the coming weeks and help her to take her steps one at a time.  Keep us posted on how you are doing.

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      Thelma Albertsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Condolence to you and your family  moonlake. So sorry to hear about your lose. This will be the 7th year that I could not talk to my mother on Mother´s Day. I don´t think I have come over the lose of my mother as tears always come whenever I remember her. Just like now. It takes time but talk about her, your memories about her and everything. It really helps.

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         moonlakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Thelma Alberts, thank you so sorry for the loss of your mother. We still grieve no matter how many years it has been.  I think the sad part is how much our family has changed this year with our loved ones gone.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.  It is sad when your parents die.  When your parents die, you feel that you have lost some continuity in your life.  Parents are special people.  I miss my father and my blessed mother is in a nursing home due to alzheimers   I think about my mother each passing day.  I wish that she was with me in sound mind so we can talk like we used to.

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         moonlakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         gmwilliams, thank you. So sorry for the loss of your Dad. It's so hard when loved ones have Alzheimers. My daughter-in-law was just telling me tonight how her Dad is going down hill so fast with his Alzheimers.

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      peachpurpleposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Pls accept my condolence abt yr mom passing. 93 is a grand age, she had been living a happy life on earth and i am sure she will find peace in heaven

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         moonlakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you peachpurple. She did have a good life I know at times she thought she didn't.

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   Kathleen Cochranposted 9 years ago

   This is my second Mother's Day without my Mom, who passed at 88.  I still pick up the phone before I remember she's gone.  I can remember her and smile now, though, instead of tearing up.  I've also learned a lot about her from other people, things I would have never known.  That's been a blessing.
   
   Losing a parent leaves a hole you didn't expect.  Share your memories.  Talk about her.  It helps.

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      moonlakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I'm so sorry for your loss. I was very disappointed in the minster at her funeral. We buried her five hours away from my sister in the cemetery my Dad is buried in. The minster didn’t really remember her and he never ask a question about her instead he talked about his life. She deserved to have her life talked about. It was our mistake we should have realized and wrote some information down for him. Mother always talked about him like she knew him and he was the minster she wanted.
      She took five children across the ocean all by herself with no help from anyone. She went on a ship she had never been on. She followed my Dad wherever he went including to Sandy Valley, Nevada, lived in a little shack with two rooms, an outhouse and that was about it.  She always made sure we were fed, warm and clean.

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         LongTimeMotherposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Your mother sounds like a truly remarkable woman, moonlake. There would have been a lot the minister could have spoken about. I'm at a loss why he didn't ask you about her.
         
         You've had a very traumatic year. I admire your strength. Please continue keeping in touch with us. We'll be your extended family when you need us.

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            moonlakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            LongTimeMother, thank you. She raised good kids none of us ended up in jail and we all watched after her the best we could.

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   colorfuloneposted 9 years ago

   Sharon, (moonlake) my condolences to you for your loss. Mothers are wonderful to have close relationships with, at any age they are still mothers. I offer my condolences to everyone who is missing their mothers this Mother's Day and every day.
   
   My Mom is 88 years old, and I moved home to be her personal care assistant over a year and a half ago, because of Alzheimer's / dementia (severe memory loss).  They call it "the long good-bye", and that it is. But, I feel so blessed to be able to spend this time with her, she has been a saint all her life and still is. It is not without challenges, but every moment I see that she is happy is rewarding and gives me joy. 
   
   Happy Mother's Day to ALL Moms!

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      moonlakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you. Your Mom is lucky to have you, so many Mom's don't have that.

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   RobinGrosswirth23posted 9 years ago

   I am so sorry for your loss. Holidays are a tough time, particularly if a loved one has passed on, and if that loved one was close to you, and loved you unconditionally.
   
   Recently, I picked up a book of essays by my favorite author, Joan Anderson. The title is, Stretch Marks: Essays for the Unfinished Woman. Anderson underscores her own losses, the passing of her parents, and for this example, her mother.
   
   Anderson calls this monumental loss a time of the "passing of the torch," that now, when a mother passes, the daughters are on the front lines. To that end, it is up to us to either carry on the legacy passed to us, or to those who did not enjoy unconditional love from a mother, then it is incumbent upon us to be change agents, being demonstrative, loving our offspring unconditionally.
   
   I lost my mother last May--May 25. I spent last Mother's Day in the hospital with her while she was battling lung cancer. It was something like 19 or 21 days after the diagnosis that she passed. She had a large tumor on her superior vena cava that ended up taking her life. Never saw it coming. She had longevity in her genes--her father lived till his late 90s and his mother till 101. Mom hadn't smoked in over 25 years. She was independent at 80, still participating professionally, in her community, as a world traveler, and as a girlfriend, I might add. She was an anomaly, a conflict of terms, a brilliant savant, a therapist, but unfortunately, she lacked warmth.
   
   My mother didn't love me unconditionally; she was not demonstrative either, and therein lies a palpable lesson. It was up to me to continue to be a nurturer to my own son, to be an organic exemplar for what a "Mother" should be, and to give while my eyes are wide open, seeing the joy in his receiving all that I have within me to give. It is my hope that when the time comes, he will carry on as I have and love prolifically.
   
   Happy Mother's Day to you.

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      moonlakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you.

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   tirelesstravelerposted 9 years ago

   The year my mom died I kept saying where are the pictures of mom at Matt's graduation, where are her  pictures at Jon's wedding, where....Then I would remember she was gone. She was almost ninety one.  Mothers can't be replaced, but their memories can't be taken away. It sure does hurt when they are gone.
   I took flowers to my best friend's mom for Mother's Day. She was tickled to pieces. I had to do something for somebodies mom. 
   
   BFF lives in North Africa and I am a 40 minute drive from her mom.

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      moonlakeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      How nice that you did that for your friend's Mom. My best friend's Mom died just before my Mom, she was also 92.

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