Funny Retirement Quotes
Here's to You!
If you're about to retire or if you know someone who is, there's a certain amount of emotion that goes with the whole event. You want to keep your spirits up and enter this new portion of your life with levity and a great attitude. So make yourself, or someone else, laugh.
A site called www.retirement-quotes.com offers some of the best retirement poems and sayings. They call their site the Retirement Poems CafÃ© and it's filled with lively and amusing thoughts on retirement.
You can read them yourself and chuckle or you can write them on your congratulations gifts for a friend or retiring co worker. They encourage you at the site to use them for free.
An Ode to Old Age
Poetry in Age
There's quite an art to falling apart
As the years go by,
And life doesn't begin at 40.
That's a big fat lie.
My hair's getting thinner, my body is not:
The few teeth I have are beginning to rot.
I smell of Vick's Vapo Rub, not Chanel #5;
My new pacemaker's all that keeps me alive.
When asked of my past, every detail I'll know,
But, what was I doing 10 minutes ago?
Well, you get the idea, what more can I say?
I'm off to read the obituary, like I do every day;
If my names there, I'll once again start -
perfecting the art of falling apart.
- Unknown Wise Person
The money is no better in retirement but the hours sure are!
- Author Unknown
When you see some people work you wonder what they will do in retirement...
- Author Unknown
Another Helpful Link
- Retirement Gift Baskets
Say congrats with a retirement gift basket or unique retirement gift designed just for him or her by All About Gifts & Baskets. Order Now For Your Retiree!
Funny Retirement Spoof - Inspiration Video
Ode to Retirement
I can read and write and paint.
Can even aspire to be a saint.
I could travel, teach and tutor.
Share guide and mentor Someone.
You my friends can remain blind
Or see in me a New find
Making again a difference.
- Ramasami Natarajan
When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
- R.C. Sherriff
Retirement - It's All in How You Play the Game
Let's see now. How will I know when I am a senior.
Some places give me a senior's discount at 55, some at 60 and some at 65.
My government pension will be sent to me when I am 65.
My company will arbitrarily retire me at 65.
(I'm going to beat them to the punch and retire at 60.)
So that means that parts of our society think 'senior' begins at 55.
How will I personally know?
Well, with a little bit of luck, I don't think I'll ever know.
It's all in how you play the game, isn't it?
- Unknown wise person
Congratulate the retirement of the golf loving type in your life with a golf gift basket. They'll be able to use it with their sudden increase of spare time!