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Halloween DIY: Funny Tombstone Sayings and Carving Tips

Updated on October 5, 2012
R.I.P. is not a very funny tombstone saying!
R.I.P. is not a very funny tombstone saying!

Introduction

My previous Halloween DIY tutorial presented a step-by-step guide on how to make cheap foam tombstones. If you followed those instructions you may find yourself knee deep in a pile of gravestones and running out of ideas for epitaphs to carve on them. Unless you are satisfied with using R.I.P. on all your tombstones, then keep reading.

In this article I will go over some additional carving techniques and tips in much more detail then I did on my previous tutorial. I will also offer a collection of funny tombstone sayings and quotes to use when decorating your headstones.

Push through the paper to score the foam underneath
Push through the paper to score the foam underneath

Creating Your Tombstone Saying

The first step is to decide on the saying you want then either draw it lightly on the tombstone or create a stencil to use for painting or carving in to the foam.

If you are artistically challenged like me then the best method is to design your saying on the computer first then print out on plain white paper. You design does not have to be limited to just text, you can use clip art and other graphics too. Just keep in mind the more intricate your design the longer it will take you to transfer it on to the foam.

If you are going to carve the saying into the foam then you do not need any further preparation of the design. Simply tape it to the foam board and use a sharp blade to punch through the paper and into the foam. The technique is similar to carving a pumpkin. You want to just lightly score the foam at this point so then when the paper is removed you can still see the design.

If you are creating a stencil then you'll need to cut out the design prior to taping it to the foam. No carving will be necessary, you will be able to paint the design directly on to the tombstone.

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The "R" has been slightly scored in to the foamThe finshed "R" looks ugly without the paint
The "R" has been slightly scored in to the foam
The "R" has been slightly scored in to the foam
The finshed "R" looks ugly without the paint
The finshed "R" looks ugly without the paint

Carving the Tombstone Saying

After you have the basic outline of the lettering you'll have to remove the paper. Again you should be able to see the design scored lightly in to the foam.

Now you can carefully carve into the foam a little deeper. If you are using a sharp blade you want to carve at an angle going from the side of the lettering toward the middle of the lettering so that you are forming a "V" shape in to the foam. The center of the "V" should now be removed leaving the letter engraved in to the foam.

The other option is to use a hot wood carving knife, in which case the foam will melt away. You need to be careful with this technique as its very easy to melt away to much of the design.

Once the design is carved out sufficiently, you will use dark paint to fill them in.

One of my funny tombstones for Halloween
One of my funny tombstones for Halloween

Halloween Items from Amazon

Funny Tombstone Names

Here are some of my favorite Halloween tombstone names:

  • Barry D. Live - burried alive
  • Wes Le'Sole - restless soul
  • Diane Rott - die & rot
  • U. R. Knexst - you are next
  • Will B. Back - will be back
  • I.M. Rysin - I am rising
  • Dee Kayd - decayed
  • Rea Bourne - reborn
  • Ibyn Kyld - I been killed
  • Vacancy

Some other funny tombstone names I've seen:

  • A. Body
  • I.B. Gone
  • I.M Gone
  • Will Return
  • Al B. Back
  • M.T. Tomb
  • Frank N. Styne
  • I.M. Mortal
  • Ray N. Carnation
  • C. U. Laytor
  • Rustin Peas
  • Manny Festation
  • Paul Tergyst
  • Jess T. Bones
  • Sam Hain
  • Alfred Ovda Dark

"Barry D. Live" is one of my favorite funny tombstone sayings
"Barry D. Live" is one of my favorite funny tombstone sayings

Funny Tombstone Sayings

Here are some of my favorite funny tombstone sayings found throughout the Internet.

This first group are from the graveyard at the Haunted Mansion in Walt Disney World. I always enjoyed that ride as a kid and it was my first exposure to humorous epitaphs.

  • Rest in peace Cousin Huet we all know you didn't do it
  • Here rests Wathel R. Bender he rode to glory on a fender
  • Dear departed brother Dave, he chased a bear in to a cave
  • Here lies good old Fred, a great bug rock fell on his head
  • At peaceful rest lies Brother Claude, planted here beneath this sod
  • Here lies Captain Culpepper Clyne. Allergic to dirt so he's pickled in bryne. He braved the sea and all her wrath, but died on land while taking a bath.
  • While Brother Roland here reposes, his soul's above, one supposes

This next batch contains quotes found on real tombstones at famous grave sites all over the world.

  • My other resting place is a sarcophagus
  • Here lies Lester Moore
    Four shots from a .44
    No Less, No More
  • Here lies the body
    of Jonathan Blake
    Stepped on the gas
    Instead of the brake
  • Here lays Butch,
    We planted him raw.
    He was quick on the trigger,
    But slow on the draw
  • Reader if cash thou art
    In want of any
    Dig 4 feet deep
    And thou wilt find a Penny

The epithaps here are some of my favorites that I have collected over the years.

Do you know any other funny tombstone sayings? If so post them to the comments!

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    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      I cannot believe this has had not had any comments. It's too cute and interesting. Voted up and more, plus pinning in time for Halloween.

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