Warning! Gross and Weird Candy Ahead!
Gross Candy -- Weird Candy -- Just Plain Icky Candy...
What is the most gross and weird candy ever made? I'm talking about the weirdest candy ever, candy that's so gross you don't know whether to eat it or throw it out. Finding the world's weirdest candy isn't easy, but in this article I gave it a good try. What is the worst candy? We're not really asking that question here. This article will look past questions of bad flavor to look at questions of bad taste. Sweets that, frankly, just should never have been made. Ever. By anyone. From toilet plunger candy to body part candy to real bugs in lollipops, candy has gone off the deep end recently. Does it taste good? Who knows? Who cares? It's gross and weird and funny, and this lens dares to get up close and personal. Take a deep breath and hold on to your lunch...
Collon, Asse, and Plopp -- Oh My! Toilet Candy Supreme
Collon isn't intentionally gross and weird candy -- it's Japanese, and the name is merely coincidental. Or is it? One look at the brown, cream-filled tubes makes you wonder if those guys weren't actually chuckling as they put this thing together.
Asse -- the Japanese candy industry strikes again! Pair this delicacy with Chunky and you've got... a Chunky Asse? Deeeelicious!
Mmmm, Plopp. Chewy brown chocolate goodness. Want some? No? Oh. All the more Plopp for me!
Bonus Sweet: Sour Flush Candy. Kind of like Lik M Aid, only the candy stick is a plunger and the dip candy is in a toilet bowl. So go ahead -- dip the plunger in the toilet and lick it dry. Urg.
Seriously Gross and Weird Candy -- Sour Flush Candy
If your idea of yummy sweetness is dipping a plumber's Helper into a toilet bowl and then into you mouth, then go for it! This stuff is seriously gross, folks. Can't see anyone over the age of ten actually liking it, much less walking out in public doing it...
Gross Out Your Friends!
Imagine showing up at a Halloween party with a handful of these obnoxious treats! I always keep at least some of these delicacies on hand just in case I find myself entertaining...
Candy That Comes Out of Your Nose
Everybody's doin' it, doin' it, doin' it
Pickin' their nose and chewin' it...
Hose Nose Candy
Pretty much genius if you ask me. This candy is in the shape of a big nasty nose that you strap on over your own nasty nose. The candy is snot, which oozes out of the nostrils -- you're supposed to stick your tongue out and catch the snot candy as it flows out. Disgusting, and pretty dang cool.
Candy That Tastes Like Bacon -- Yum!
Bacon this, bacon that. Bacon chocolate we can pretty much handle, although let's face it, it's gross. But bacon mints were never meant to be. Why would anyone imagine that smoked pig meat and fresh breath belong in the same sentence, let alone in the same tin? Gross and weird, no two ways about it.
Chocolate Covered Pork Rinds
Maybe a little too bacon-oriented to be taken seriously, but the salty fat of a pork rind and the sweet taste of the chocolate might possibly be interesting. Weird, but maybe not entirely gross.
Dill Pickle Mints
Just... No. Okay? No.
Wanna Try Some Dill Pickle Mints?
Gross Candy to Prank Your Friends With - They'll Never Suspect a Thing
One of the best uses of gross and weird candy is to prank your friends. Pretty soon you'll be the gross-out king. Or queen. Or both.
Gross and Weird Candy: Bug Suckers
Gross Candy -- White Chocolate Maggots and Cockroach Bites
Starting out with a couple of easy ones here. These are gross, but the bugs aren't real -- the candy just looks and crunches like you would expect. The actual horror of dealing with spiny legs caught in your teeth is missing in these, though you could probably creep out your mom with these.
Weird Candy -- Scorpion Suckers
Now this is more like it. An actual, spiny, crunchy scorpion in a delicious sweet lollipop. Lick it long enough and you'll have a pretty nasty little mouthful to deal with. Gross AND weird.
This candy company gets pretty far out there with what they will wrap in sugar and put on a stick. Not only so they offer beetles, worms, and bugs of all kinds, they also have jalapeno and other brutally hot pepper lollipops. Our kind of candy maker!
A Little Extra Crunch in Your Candy
Give the Sucker a Scorpion Sucker - The perfect gross and weird Halloween candy...
Imagine the look on the kids' faces when you drop a handful of scorpions into their trick-or-treat bag!
Scabs, Eyeballs, and Earwax Candy
Weird -- Candy Scabs
Another genius move. Candy Scabs are little band-aids with crusty gross candy scabs stuck to them. Remember those wonderful days of falling off your bike, skinning your knee, and then waiting for the scab to fall off? Now you can have your memories and EAT them, too.
Gross -- Eyes of Terror Gumballs
The best thing about these suckers is the wrecked, bloodshot appearance. They really kind of look like they were yanked out of a corpse, and not too recently, either. You may actually think twice before you pop these in your mouth.
Weird! Who knew that ear wax was actually a tasty, fruit-flavored paste? All this time we've been cleaning out our ear wax and throwing the dirty q-tip away. That's a lot of candy goodness going to waste, my friend.
Crime Scene Candy. Seriously.
The folks over at Niftycandy.com put together this mess, a handful of some of the basic body part candies out there, and also a few gummi worms for good (or bad) measure. The result does kind of resemble a crime scene, if the victim lived in a gingerbread house. Gross, weird, and everything in-between
Candy Rats on Amazon
One of these wiggly, jiggly gummy rats would look pretty awesome dropped into a Halloween trick-or-treat bag. And did I mention that they're HUGE?
But What Is the King of the Gross and Weird Candy Universe? - THE CAT BOX CAKE!
The clear winner of this parade of nastiness is not a candy at all but a baked good -- or baked BAD, to be more precise. Behold the cat box cake! This lovely item is perfect for your cat's birthday, or to completely alienate your child on their birthday. Can't quite imagine actually eating this, can you?
Gross and Weird Candy -- I Hope I Didn't Offend Anyone!
But if I did, then I hope you were at least laughing a little whilst being offended. It's all candy, right? How terrible can a little sugar be? Well anyway I hope you had a laugh, and if you're in the mood, have a look at my much-less-gross and also less-offensive lens about sour candy. Cheers!
image via wikimediacommons.org