Long Lost Lovers Reunited After 30 Years
Me Without You
Have you ever felt that connection, that you knew someone already? A connection hard to explain unless you have felt it too?
Let me tell you first hand that you never know what will be around the next corner in life.
Denny, my husband, and I were high school sweethearts. We found each other after 30 years. We are working on a book about our amazing and romantic tale of lovers found.
Miracles do happen...
I wrote this poem way before we got back together. A lot of the poems I post of sadness are from the time I was not with Denny and missed him. We have been married for 8 years! I still write and post my sad poems. I have written before how people used to comment about the fact that all of my paintings felt sad to them... and asked my why... I would say, "What is interesting about happy?" I still think that is true to a point. Who doesn't love a beautiful tragedy? It's romantic and perplexing. I am not sad anymore like this poem written so long ago. But there are moments, and everyone has them. There are also flowers and blue skies with big white puffy clouds to remind us that everything has it's place and is actually in perfect time.
"Me Without You"
In all my dreams
I never imagined me without you.
I wandered through my life
and I would always see you.
I counted on your timing
your smile
you caught my soul
and found me off guard.
Must you still lean on my soul? .
Pull my insides
'til I lose all control?
and then...
take what becomes a prize to me
and leave me so alone?
Such an expense I paid
finding me without you.
I am off balance
I can hardly breath.
I never included the outcome
of your leaving...
leaving me without you.
I am a broken container.
I bare no excuse.
I cannot stand on my feet
nor hide my despair.
I am the tear in my own eye.
nowhere to start again
no step to begin.
The smell of emptiness
is a smell I cannot bare
a room so vacant.
I loath myself
that I should fall apart so.
As if you were the only person
to verify my breathing
the only cure
to my lapses of continuity
Every part of me
has taken a separate direction.
I awake in the night
alone and empty.
There is nothing more alone
than to wake in the middle of the night
no one to reach out for
no comfort to find.
I am afraid that I will wake
and there will be
nothing left of me.
A collection of clutter
or a speck in your eye
marooned
an after thought.
Reflections that find me
so un-groomed.
Little squares of reason
tiles on the floor.
Ushered in are spokesmen
to declare
part of what I already know.
On every corner
there is sadness
we all know.
In every person
on every occasion
a dimmer glow.
Should it trivialize my ache?
In all my dreams
I never imagined
me...
without you.
note: I won a "Juror's Choice Award" in the East Hawaii Cultural Center's All Juried Show 2005 for my portrait of "Denny" a 36x48 oil on canvas. The portrait of "Denny" is posted on my blog, October 04, 2005 archives and on my website.
About the Author:
Kathy Ostman-Magnusena
Hawaii, United States
Aloha! I am a figurative artist and Illustrator. If you check out my website you will see that I am very prolific in oils. My paintings are collected worldwide. I also do sculpture; images available upon request. I have illustrated for Hay House Inc., Neil Davidson, who was considered for the Pulitzer Prize in feature writing, and several other publications. I also enjoy story writing and poetry. All of the paintings, stories and poems on my blogs and website are written by me.
Check out my website http://www.kathysart.com or one of my blogs at: http://kathysart.blogspot.com/
You never know what the next day, year or even breath might bring. Hold out for true love.
IMAGE IS OF MY PAINTING LAVENDER CLOAK"
TURN ON THE MUSIC FOR AMBIANCE! "Wait For Me"
Love Stories at the Movies
DID YOU TURN THE MUSIC UTUBE above ..ON?
You will feel my heart and the heart of my Denny more if you do.. I'm just sayin'
Love Stories
I Think That I Would Miss You, Even If I Had Never Met You
I think I'd miss you
even if I'd never met you.
I think there would be a space missing from me.
When I am not with you now
I cannot think of much else
than what is lacking
a few missed breaths
a few sentiments to share with someone
who understands
someone in the same space.
When I am not with you
airplanes still fly overhead
What on earth can they be thinking?
Some would think me damaged
or at least insecure
oh so needy
without love notes in my pocket.
Yet, my stance
my journey
the very essence of my said creativity
is not quite centered
when you are not within reach.
What can I say?
What excuses do I have?
Except...
it is what it is
that's all.
I am within that fairy tale
the one that little girls grew up dreaming about?
The ones with the white horse
the kiss that awakens...
a sleeping
damsel.
Goddess alert
keep your voice intact
poetry is never all that far
words that wind round dreams
unmet.
You my love
are like the breeze
of the words I want to say
I am understood
encouraged
lifted up
by you.
And I?
I love you.
I think that I would miss you
even if we had never met.
I think I would feel incomplete
never being able to figure out what was missing.
Lonely
for a song
that would never find its way to sound.
Like a rose in a vase without baby's breath
and ferns
a flower in a vase
without water
left to dry out.
Or maybe I'd just stay inside the garden
wondering
and no one would come to pick me
at all.
Yes~
I know...
that I would miss you
"even if we had never met."
by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
copyright 2012
IMAGE IS OF MY PAINTING "FORGET ME NOT"
~~*~~
Hold out for MAGIC!
Things will never be perfect but they will always hold magic if that is what your focus on. You have to look for it, wait for it, and them embrace every inch of it.
Yes~ I know that I would miss you even if we had never met ~Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
"Lost at Sea" 60x74 oil on canvas by Kathy Ostman-Magnusen
The Night Before
The night before I left where I lived at the time.. to be with Denny, I stopped at the town Post Office. There was a young girl there who was crying. She was being comforted by a boy... I saw that and left them to themselves. All through these years and inside the very moment that I saw her, I wanted to say... HOLD OUT FOR LOVE... and I wanted to tell her that TIME CHANGES and we have no idea how much. I wanted to tell her about Denny and me and that I had found him and that life around the nest corner might just surprise you. It did me. Sigh... I think of her.... sigh.
pic is one of my paintings.
An orchid from our garden
Orchids Fill Our House
TELL ME YOU WERE HERE~!!
great lens and great information
You really are one talented person. That painting Lost at Sea just mesmerized me as to how you have captured the woman's expression. Your poetry is full of emotion.
Lens is a treat, Kathy, and especially with a good bit of elegant poetry. Nice.
Thanks.
Great lens! You write such beautiful poetry!
Nice lens !
-(`v)- . . -(`v)- . . -(`v)-
Happy Valentine Day!
All the very best to you and your loved ones, from me and mine!
(`v)
`*..*
..*) .*)
(. (. . .`
Helene Malmsio aka. SCSS
You are so talented! Your work is beautiful!
In a word 'emotional'. Beautifully written. So much talent. Thanks for sharing
Quite charming a lens, intense in content.
Marvelous lens!
I love the poem I think that I would miss you even had I never met you. Sometimes I feel that way. I think that we are very close to the spirit world and destined to meet the one we are most connected to. We just have to be wise enough to recognize them when we do meet. This lens is beautiful.
I love the poem I think that I would miss you even had I never met you. Sometimes I feel that way. I think that we are very close to the spirit world and destined to meet the one we are most connected to. We just have to be wise enough to recognize them when we do meet. This lens is beautiful.
It feels my husband were destined to meet. Its things like his mother and I have the same last name. Our circle of friends are the same. His stepfather knows half my family. He has hung with my sister and one of my good friends before. So there were really no secrets between us when we got together. lucky we had both been on our best behavior because all our dark secrets would've been exposed. Had we had any. We have a nick name amongst our friends, Shankesha. His name is Shannon my name is Kesha. People say we look alike because have the same skin tone, almost the same height, we both were dreadlocks. We have many of the same interest. We compliment each other. He likes Sweets I prefer hot and spicy. Its great when destiny and fate presents themselves then you know that they are real.
This is one of the most beautiful lenses I have ever seen. Very touching. Blessed.
wow...i do agree with the comments, you are really a very talented writer.. I love reading this lens.. every word touches my heart..thank you for sharing...
You are a very talented writer and artist!
Still hope me and my ex get back together someday
Kathy, I came again. I am so touched by the painting in the "Night Before" section. I agree, sadness calls out to all of us; it is so much more than pretty.
You are such a strong and versatile advocate. I pray that Denny will be able to get all the treatments and devices that he needs.
Your personal touch I felt while reading this, thank you for sharing. *blessed by a squid angel*
Beautiful lens! I loved your poetry and art almost as much as hearing that you found your true love. I can say with certainty that your words: "Yes, I know I would have missed you even if we had never met" are true, because I did miss the person I never met until I finally found him when I was 52. The chances of our ever meeting were so remote as to have been nearly impossible. That's how we know it was meant to happen. Was it worth the wait? Absolutely! Thanks for a lens that believes in love.
I love this lens
Amazing lens! great poetry thank you for sharing!
I know this love story, I wish it were mine. I haven't found the one that will be with me for the rest of time, except the dead. Your writing and illustrations are so beautiful. I wish I were an angel so I could bless this page. See you around the galaxy...
It's really hard to wait for love, but you proved it was worth it. Such an inspiration, thank you.
Beautiful poetry and amazing portraits - love 'em. Thank you for sharing your gifts with us. Fondly,
Rose
Your love story is very interesting. This lens deserves to be blessed!
Wonderful poems and artwork. Thanks! Glad you and Danny found each other again.
Thanks for sharing your love story ... and your beautiful poetry and paintings. So glad you found your Denny again.
Enjoyed your story. I really, really love your art, checked out your website, am drawn to 'Stealing Saturn". But 'Lavender Cloak' is my favorite. I listen to Enigma and Dead Can Dance when I paint, too; but it's been way too long...
Beautiful poetry and yes, the first poem is quite sad and lonely. I am so glad you found your Denny again :)
A beautiful story and a wonderful lens, congratulations.
Wonderful story and lovely lens. Blessed and featured on Blessed by Skiesgreen 2012 and also on For my Valentine. Hugs
So touching... Another beautiful lens!
Sigh, I'm a real romantic, so I love hearing stories of lovers reunited after being apart.
It is amazing that how Nature works to unite and find long lost sweet hearts. I usually love a story that has happy ending or at least a morale; beautifully done with poems from heart.
I love your artwork! You're very talented.
winging back to share some squidangel *blessings*
Deeply resonant. Powerfully moving. Your soul has great depth.
Love your poetry! I enjoyed reading this beautiful lens about your love story. =)
"I am the tear in my own eye"....oh my Kathy...oh my...miracles do happen and what is meant to be ins meant to be. My heart is blessed for the love that you and Denny share...
Beautiful love story, really touched the heart :)
What a fabulous love story as well as life journey for you and Denny. Your paintings are amazing and I especially love Lost At Sea, for I can feel the loss in your artwork.
My dear, this is such a heartwarming and encouraging story! Not that long ago, I reached out to my "sort of" high school sweetheart from a lot of years ago. I found him in Ohio as a drama professor at a college. It was interesting to think of that Robert Frost poem about which road we both took.
happy valentine's day. this is a moving story.
Great lens. Congratulations on being featured on the Valentine's Day Love Stories.
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