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Redneck Valentines LOL

Updated on June 29, 2014

Valentines Day - Redneck Style

Lookin for redneck valentines? Best everlovin' collection of redneck valentines and whitetrash hillbilly sweetheart funny stuff assembled - right here on this here perty redneck page.

Not your traditional Valentine stuff here, this is pure redneck humor, the best of Redneck Valentine's Day. Fans of guys like Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy will just bust a gut at these redneck valentines.

Funnies and sweet nothings, all collected below just for you. So without further ado ...

go on down there and git yo giggles on with dis stuff about redneck valentines.

Redneck Valentine Gifts

We picked just a few fun gift ideas for celebrating Valentines Day redneck style. Lots more where these came from. YUP!

Just click any of these to head over yonder to that amazon place, where there's more redneck fun than you can shake a stick at.

Redneck Life Board Game
Redneck Life Board Game

Hours of fun. Rednecks will never get bored with this board game.

 
Mason Jar Wine Glass Stemware, Set of 4
Mason Jar Wine Glass Stemware, Set of 4

If you are gonna toast your honey with good moonshine, do it with class. Gotta have the right glass.

 
redneck
redneck

Romantic Rednecks

Rednecks DO write love poems, ya know.

Roses are red, or are they blue? I don't know. but i do like you.

I love you more than my truck's tires.

Yer more useful than my old rusty pliers.

You cook a good deer and fry a good egg,

just wish you'd shave that hair off your legs.

If you decide not to do it, Pumpkin Face, It's okay, I'll just keep on tellin my buddies, yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes.

Yer my pride and joys, What a lady! But hows come we KISS only when it's my payday?

When I ran over ya with my truck, you didn't even say "ouch." And you are so cute, when you wipe your boogers under the couch.

I hope we stay together, at least a couple more days- cuz i'm really in love jus like i sais. Happy VD!!!!!

Redneck Wedding Photos - Gittin Hitched, Redneck Style. Click any pic to view it larger and ENJOY the fun.

Click thumbnail to view full-size

Ya might be a redneck if ...

ya git a valentine fer yo mama, yo sister and yo girlfriend

and only need one card!

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A Redneck Valentine

Redneck love poem

Kudzu is green, my dog's name is Blue

And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.

Softer than Blue's And without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, Which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales But I luv you anyway.

You're as graceful as okry Jist a-dancin' in the pan.

Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop Right out of the can.

You have all yore teeth, For which I am proud;

I hold my head high When we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, When you shave yore armpits,

Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.

Still them fellers at work They all want to know,

What I did to deserve Such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape Yo're there fer your man,

To patch up life's troubles And stick 'em in the can.

Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler Racin' through the mud,

Yet fragile as that sanger Named Naomi Judd.

Yo're as cute as a junebug A-buzzin' overhead.

You ain't mean like no fire ant Upon which I oft' tread.

Cut from the best pattern Like a flannel shirt of plaid,

You sparked up my life Like a Rattletrap shad.

When you hold me real tight Like a padded gunrack,

My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, Like the best vinyl sidin'.

Despite all the years, Yore age, it keeps hidin'.

And when you get old Like a '57 Chevy,

Won't put you on blocks And let grass grow up heavy.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie With a RC cold drank,

We go together Like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate For Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart, It's romantic that way.

Some men git roses On that special day

From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds From a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever," They explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, These will not do.

For you are too special, You sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, Without taste nor odor,

Better than diamonds it's a new trollin' motor.

Feeling down in the dumps?

This easy Southern Dump Cake recipe will pick you up.

Some southerners swear by this dump cake as a sure way NOT to get dumped, cause your honey will LOVE it.

SO easy, it's a piece of cake to make. No mixing, just dump!

  • Prep time: 10 min
  • Cook time: 1 hour
  • Ready in: 1 hour 10 min
  • Yields: 10 - 12

Ingredients

  • 1 can can crushed pineapple (in heavy syrup)
  • 1 can prepared fruit cherry pie filling
  • 1 box yellow cake mix
  • 2 sticks of butter or margarine each cut into 12 slices
  • some chopped nuts (any kind ya like)

Instructions

  1. DUMP CAKE RECIPE:
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Have a 9 by 13-inch baking pan ready.
  3. Dump undrained pineapple on baking dish and spread it out evenly. Then dump globs of cherry pie filling evenly on top of the pineapple. Sprinkle the cake mix evenly over the cherry and pineapple layers. Cut butter into slices with a butter knife and place slices evenly over cake mix. Sprinkle nuts on top if you're using them. To serve, just scoop cake out with a large spoon like a cobbler, and dump it on a bowl or plate. Serve warm or cold.
  4. * OPTIONS: Try other fruit variations like blueberry, apple, strawberry, peach. Also try different cake mix flavors and additional toppings, like maybe coconut. Vanilla ice cream makes a delicious topping for dump cake, especially when the cake is still warm.
Cast your vote for Make Yo Redneck Valentine a Dump Cake!

Rednecks Havin Fun

Check out this FUNNY redneck video, to the tune of "Cotton Eyed Joe".

Ya'll come back now,

ya hear?

Be My Valentine?

Be My Valentine?
Be My Valentine?

Redneck Guestbook - Leave a redneck love note, or just a Howdy Ya'll.

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    • clouda9 lm profile image

      clouda9 lm 6 years ago

      Yo be so cra-zee g/f! Fun lens, yummy recipe!

    • Grandma-Marilyn profile image

      Grandma-Marilyn 6 years ago

      I guess redneck jokes and such are ok depending on my mood. Tonight my mood for them just isn't there.

    • profile image

      ohcaroline 6 years ago

      That certainly is a different kind of Valentine's celebration.

    • profile image

      Joan4 5 years ago

      oh that's my kind of poetry!

    • profile image

      JoshK47 5 years ago

      Definitely got a chuckle here - thanks for sharing! :)

    • Rebeljohn profile image

      Rebeljohn 5 years ago

      great one

    • profile image

      Aunt-Mollie 4 years ago

      Really funny! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.

    • takkhisa profile image

      Takkhis 3 years ago

      I like the poems :)

    • profile image

      HillBilly1985 2 years ago

      Redneck humor, Git Er Did!

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